} No, but if you hum a few bars I can...oh, wait, I see what you mean.
} Well, the scientific explanation to that is pretty technical, but if
} you really want to know...
} Basically, the weather gods are angry. You can't blame them, really.
} Nobody takes them seriously anymore. I mean, it used to be them and
} nobody else. Oh, sure, everybody went around waving and building
} statues of those fellows with far too many arms and heads and knees
} and whatnot, but who do you think they _really_ prayed to at night
} with the wind whistling in the cracks (this is before the Age of
} Spackle I'm talking about here) and the crops not ready to harvest
} so it'll be dried turnips all winter if ol' Jack [not his real name]
} Frost should happen to drop by, much less if it should happen to
} start raining industrial strength ice cubes or fish or frogs or
} some other damned thing? Not Mr. Gnurg Of The Thousand Elbows,
} I can tell you that. No, the weather gods were always the ones who
} got the real respect, not to mention endorsement contracts. But all
} that's changed since then. Now people spend all their time inside
} their central heating and air conditioning and indoor plumbing.
} For a while the weather gods didn't do much about it, spending their
} time playing "Zap the Golfer" and idly aiming continuous streams
} of high-powered cosmic rays into the heads of local TV weathermen,
} which is why they talk like that. But computers were the last straw.
} Now people hardly need to go outside at all, and they hardly ever
} even _talk_ about the weather. Well, the weather gods are fed up,
} and this time they intend to do something about it. They're going to
} keep getting meaner until they start getting some real respect. Oh,
} sure, you laugh now, but will you be amused when your house is crushed
} beneath ten tons of assorted seaweed? Your neighbors will be, though.
} So I guess it's not a total loss.
} You owe the Oracle an umbrella, and a videotape of that whole
} house-crushing thing.