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Internet Oracularities #989

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Internet Oracularities #989    (92 votes, 3.0 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Mon, 2 Mar 1998 17:46:23 -0500 (EST)

To find out all about the Internet Oracle, including how to participate,
send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject
line.

Let us know what you like!  Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very poor") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to this
message).  For example:
   989
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

989   92 votes gpwh2 9fitl 7fkvj 4aqzh hysb2 clxm4 76nqu thpba mpse3 gurg3
989   3.0 mean  2.6   3.4   3.4   3.6   2.4   2.8   3.7   2.5   2.5   2.6


989-01    (gpwh2 dist, 2.6 mean)
Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why do the good always die young?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You weren't listening carefully.  It's "Only D. Goode dyes Young".
} Billy Joel was actually writing an infomercial, with celebrity
} endorsements by Neil Young for famed hair stylist Debi Goode.
}
} You owe the Oracle an uptown cinnamon girl.


989-02    (9fitl dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: clemenr@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh most enlightened Oracle, who would never be stupid enough to use any
> Microsoft product, please tell me:
> Why do Microsoft products suck so bad?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Physics, humble supplicant, physics.  In particular, the first law of
} thermodynamics.  As you know, this law states that the amount of
} entropy in the universe is always increasing.  Well, a buggy program
} has quite a bit of entropy, but a clean, tight, program with well
} documented code and good structure has very little.
}
} This lead to a conundrum back in the early days of computing: what to
} do with the excess entropy purged from a program during debugging?
} During the 60's and 70's this was not much of a problem, because
} computers were so large and programs so small that the excess entropy
} could just be sent down the power supply to the electric company, and
} they dealt with it, thinking it was simply another energy spike caused
} by running such a monstrous machine.
}
} However, at the end of the '70s, the electric companies caught on, and
} Bill the Cat (whom you might recall from his Doonesbury-sponsored
} presidential bid), working in GE's lab a the time came up with what he
} called an "Aack! Thip."  For simplicity, GE patented it under the title
} Bill gate.  The Bill gate is placed in a customer's control box, and
} prevents any entropy from being sent back to the electric company.
}
} Now the programmers had a problem.  They had to put their high entropy
} code (which was rapidly increasing in volume) somewhere where it would
} not get back into their debugged programs.  So a group of them got
} together, rented some office space in Seattle with a high capacity
} internet connection, and installed several thousand Bill Gates on it,
} so that entropy could go in, but it could no get back out.
}
} This worked like a charm for a couple of years, until the office space
} they had rented hit capacity, and sprung a leak into the operating
} system of IBM's newly released PC.  The rest is history.
}
} So now you know why Microsoft programs suck so bad.  They are sucking
} capacity from your computer to hold all that spare entropy.  This is
} also why Microsoft market share is constantly increasing despite the
} overall suckiness of the programs: entropy must always increase.  If it
} were not for Moore's Law, it would have long ago overwhelmed all
} computers in existence.
}
} You owe the Oracle a three page essay on the eventual Microsoft death
} of the universe, explaining what is to be done about it.


989-03    (7fkvj dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: "Forbes, Michael Scott (Scott)" <trans@lucent.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Wise Oracle, whose advice on matters of the heart is second to none
> (except perhaps Dr. Ruth)...
>
> How can I get the cute girl who lives in the dorm across from mine,
> to go out with me?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} 101 ways to get the girl who lives in the dorm across from yours to go
} out with you
}
} 1. Wave a flag out your window that says "Will you go out with me?"
} 2. Write love poetry, fold it into paper airplanes and throw them at
} her window.
} 3. "The Oracle said you'd go out with me, and he's omniscient, so I'll
} pick you up at 8."
} 4. Kidnap her dog and keep it until she agrees on a date.
} 5. Leave flowers outside her door every morning (preferably something
} without thorns).
} 6. Get her roommate to whisper messages in her ear when she's asleep.
} ("You want to go out with that guy...")
} 7. "I just happen to have an extra plane ticket to Paris, are you free
} this evening?"
} 8. Promise to do her Calculus homework if she goes out with you.
} 9. Call her up and claim to be Tom Cruise.
} 10. Call her up and claim to be Brad Pitt.
} 11. Call her up and claim to be Bill Gates (OK, forget that one).
} 12. (In a bland, CIA agent voice) "You could turn me down, but then I'd
} have to kill you."
} 13. Get a lot of fireworks, spell out her name and "Will you go out
} with me?" in them during her Observational Astronomy class.
} 14. Every time she looks out her window, wave at her.
} 15. "Wanna share a can of Jolt at 4 in the morning?"
} 16. Hypnotize her.  Claim it's for a psychology experiment.
} 17. Kidnap her.  Claim it's for a sorority initiation.
} 18. Bribe her.  Claim it's for an economics project.
} 19. "I'm an advance scout for the Miss America contest, and you caught
} my eye..."
} 20. Pretend to be sensitive and caring.  Bring a bottle of fake tears
} if you have to.
} 21. Smile a lot.
} 22. Have somebody big and burly accost her.  Scare him off.  (Make sure
} she isn't a black belt or something before trying this.)
} 23. Stand underneath her balcony and recite scenes from Shakespeare.
} (Not "Get thee to a nunnery", though.)
} 24. Drop love notes in her pasta at mealtimes.
} 25. Hang out in places she likes to be (except for the women's
} bathroom.)
} 26. Ask her out in Klingon.  Women love those harsh, gutteral sounds.
} 27. Put a disk full of romantic poetry in her mailbox.
} 28. "I understand you've only seen Titanic twelve times.  Want to go
} again? With me?"
} 29. Join all of the groups that she's in.
} 30. Register for all of the classes that she's in.
} 31. Camp out in the hall outside her room.
} 32. Tell her that you may have already won ten million dollars.
} 33. Put cookies in her mailbox (make sure she checks her mail more
} often than once a month before trying this.)
} 34. Phew...1/3 of the way done.
} 35. Ask her "Will you go out with me?" in as many different languages
} as you can.
} 36. "Veux-tu sortir avec moi?
} 37. "Willst du ausgehen mit mir?"
} 38. "Tli hochesh vstretitcya co mnoi?"
} 39. Usted desea salir con mM-m?
} 40. "I have a big ZOT staff."
} 41. "Studies have shown that people who date me have a 35% higher
} chance of getting into a good grad school than people who don't."
} 42. Leave a little stuffed animal and a note that says "Please go out
} with me!" in her mailbox.
} 43. Tell her you meant that she should date YOU, not the stuffed
} animal.
} 44. "Please please please please PLEASE?"
} 45. "You know, the Surgeon General has determined that not dating me
} can be Hazardous To Your Health."
} 46. Invite her to something she can't turn down without looking bad,
} like the meeting of the Coalition to Prevent Small Fuzzy Animals From
} Getting Their Heads Bashed In With Heavy Clubs.
} 47. If she says that she wouldn't date you unless you were the last guy
} on earth, kill every other guy on earth.
} 48. Start a newsletter about her.  Hand-deliver a copy to her every
} day.
} 49. "How about having breakfast together?  Should I call you or nudge
} you?
} 50. Okay, that last one was a little old.
} 51. But how many people are reading this far anyway?
} 52. Train her dog to bark wildly and lead her to you.
} 53. Mix up some pheremones in a chemistry lab.
} 54. Learn some Julio Inglesias songs.
} 55. Tell her that her parents wouldn't approve of you.
} 56. Dress like Mulder.  He has a lot of female fans.
} 57. Get a TV studio and broadcast yourself onto her TV.
} 58. "Want to play Network Marathon with me?  I have the new level,
} Total Bloodbath!"
} 59. Learn to dance like Fred Astaire.  Win a local dance competition.
} Ask her to a dance.
} 60. Jump naked out of a cake on her birthday.
} 61. Hack into the school's computer.  Offer to raise her grades if
} she'll go out with you.
} 62. Play hard to get.
} 63. Date her best friend and make her jealous.
} 64. Dress up like a baby.  Sit in a basket outside her door one
} morning, cooing and "ga"ing.
} 65. Bribe the guy who writes the horoscopes for the local paper to
} write "You will date that guy who lives in the dorm across from yours"
} in her horoscope.
} 66. Send her quicktime movies of yourself being sweet and romantic.
} 67. Follow her around.
} 68. "If you go out with me, you will save the world from everything
} evil!"
} 69. Heh heh heh.
} 70. Fall in a vat of toxic waste and become a superhero.
} 71. Sign a big recording contract.
} 72. Become quarterback of the football team.
} 73. Call her every five minutes.
} 74. Leave lots of messages on her answering machine.
} 75. Make sure you have ways of finding out unlisted telephone numbers.
} 76. Give her a card with a "Hallmark" logo on the back.
} 77. "For a limited time only, anyone who goes out with me can get this
} set of Ginsu knives for only $19.95!"
} 78. Do a Tarot reading on her.  Stack the deck ahead of time so that
} the only card that comes up is "The Lovers."
} 79. Never mind that the Tarot card "The Lovers" really isn't about
} love.
} 80. Put a full-page ad in the school newspaper.
} 81. "I have a beta of Rhapsody...I'll show it to you if you'll go out
} with me."
} 82. Use Jedi mind tricks.
} 83. "Hi, my name's Alladin.  Wanna go back to my place and rub my lamp?
} It'll grant your wishes..."
} 84. Become Leader of the Free World.
} 85. Give her a set of kneepads.
} 86. Dress up like her roommate and tell her lots of good things about
} yourself.
} 87. Don't bother, you're too good for her.  That girl two doors down the
} hall from you can love you for more than just your body.
} 88. Find sexual innuendoes in every sentence she says.  She'll love
} that.
} 89. Show her this list.
} 90. Buy ad time during the last episode of "Seinfeld."  ($2 million for
} 30 seconds.)  Use it to express your undying love for her.
} 91. Sign her up for the "Citrus Fruit of the Month Club."  (Real club!
} I'm not making it up!)
} 92. Fill out a bunch of those "Bill me later" subscription cards in her
} her name.  She'll love getting all that mail.
} 93. Use Photoshop to fake a nude picture of her.  Use it to blackmail
} into going out with you.
} 94. Grovel.
} 95. Gravel.
} 96. Make puppy-dog eyes at her.
} 97. "Really?  The English Patient is my favorite movie too!"
} 98. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."  (Test answers, of
} course.)
} 99. Come up with something witty and charming that isn't on this list.
} 100. (Deep breath)
} 101.  Just ask her out, for crying out loud!
}
} You owe the Oracle the ultimate pickup line.


989-04    (4aqzh dist, 3.6 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <cierhart@ic.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why cannot I be immortal ?
> I know that immortality is a very difficult thing to reach for
> humanity.  But I am not asking for it for the whole humanity.
> That should be simpler.
> And it would be enough for me if _I_ were immortal.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Poor human.
}
} You THINK you want to be immortal.  You read books about vampires,
} gods, and other immortal creatures, and say, "I wish I were immortal
} too, because they lead such interesting lives."
}
} But here, let me reach into another future, a future where you
} achieve immortality, while the rest of the world remains mortal.
} I show you this, a page from your diary, dated a mere hundred
} years from now.
}
}     Wednesday, 26 February 2098.
}
}     Elise has left, saying people have mistaken her for my mother
}     once too often.  Once again, a relationship dies because I am
}     still young, and she has succumbed to the ravages of time.
}
}     I turned on the television and found that Microsoft has
}     purchased the last remaining network.  Now it is nothing but
}     American sitcoms, with Microsoft commercials every three
}     minutes.  Perhaps I should introduce myself to Bill Gates;
}     he is only a disembodied brain kept alive by machines and
}     running the world from the Microsoft Network, but at least
}     we two know what it is to be immortal.
}
} Two hundred years from now:
}
}     Monday, 26 February 2198.
}
}     Got up.  Had green NutriPaste for breakfast.  Petted MS-Dog,
}     noticed fur is falling out.  Nothing on television that I
}     haven't seen 1000 times before.  Chose brown paste for lunch.
}     Spent the afternoon deleting spam from mailbox.  Ate yellow
}     paste for dinner.  Kids rode past on hoverbikes, blasting
}     that new Phreenge "music".  Shook fist at them.  They laughed
}     at me.  Whippersnappers; no respect for their elders.
}
} Three hundred years from now:
}
}     Saturday, 26 February 2298.
}
}     I am so bored, I want to die.  Useless, of course -- no matter
}     what I chop off, it grows back.  Tried chopping off head, that
}     was a disaster.  A new head grew back on the body, a new body
}     grew back on the head.  Thought that would be wonderful, but I
}     learned I can't stand to live with myself.  Couldn't play
}     chess with him, since he knew what I was up to.  Couldn't play
}     cards, because we each knew the other was cheating.  And he
}     never refilled the ice tray.
}
} Four hundred years from now:
}
}     Thursday, 26 February 2398.
}
}     Very exciting day today; ate yellow paste instead of green for
}     breakfast.  I shouldn't do that again soon, or the novelty will
}     wear off.
}
} Five hundred years for now:
}
}     Wednesday, 26 February 2498:
}
}     Got up.  Green paste for breakfast.  Yellow paste for lunch.
}     Brown paste for dinner.  Going to bed.
}
} After that, they're all duplicate entries.
}
} The only thing that makes your life interesting is the fact that it's
} so finite.  Eat nothing but bologna sandwiches every day for breakfast,
} lunch and dinner, and that'll give you a good idea of what immortality
} is really like.
}
} You owe the Oracle a cure for ennui.


989-05    (hysb2 dist, 2.4 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <cierhart@ic.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Do you take the holy scripture to be like a shipman's hose?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I can't decide if this question is obscene or not.
}
} "Hey Lisa!"
}
} "Yeah, Orrie?"
}
} "Is this question obscene?"
}
} "Wow, I don't know."
}
} "Hoi! Zadoc!"
}
} "Yes, oh wise and mighty one?"
}
} "Is this question obscene?"
}
} "Master, don't zot me, but I honestly have no idea."
}
} "Well, we're getting desperate now. Kendai!"
}
} [Kendai slouches in.]
}
} "What?"
}
} "Kendai, is this question obscene?"
}
} "I dunno. Who cares? I do know the answer, though."
}
} [Kendai whispers in Oracle's ear, then slouches out of the room.]
}
} So, supplicant, the answer is:
}
} Whatever.
}
} You owe the Oracle a care. Preferably one you could give.


989-06    (clxm4 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <cierhart@ic.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Hey there, Orrie, you ole horney toad!  Listen, pardner, this here
> Internet thing's a-takin' hold all over creation.  Why, jest as soon as
> we'n's here in Blatt's Half Apple, Montana get our new tele-o-phone
> line, we'll be as wired as a heifer eatin' jalapenos!  Hee hee!  So I'm
> a-wonderin', big feller, if you kin point me at a good Eye Ess Pee.  I
> hear thet there Merkins On Line ain't no good, an' I shore ain't
> hookin' up with no Eye Bee Em or Aye Tee 'n Tee.  What's the rumble on
> thet there Juneau outfit? Thanky kindly fer yer time!
>
> Clem

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} <Oracle barely conceals his look of terror from the supplicant>
}
} Ah, er, well, actually ... um, yes! yes! My assistant
} Zadoc has all the details you require about various ISPs!
} ZADOC! Come here! Tell this kind soul *everything* about ISPs ...
}
} <Orrie backs away carefully as the unsuspecting Zadoc engages Clem
} in a detailed discussion of all things internet related and otherwise,
} providing a neat distraction while Orrie manages to reach the phone>
}
} "Hi, is that Guido?"
}
} "Yeah, boss. Youse gots a job fer us?"
}
} "I sure do. You just get a few friends together and head off
} to a Me-forsaken place in Montana called Blatt's Half Apple.
} I'll take care of your transport ... <snaps fingers> you should
} find the tickets in the inside pocket of your Armani jacket."
}
} "Neat, boss. I always like de way you do dat - even when
} I'm wearin' de suit."
}
} "Ok, get yourself down there and keep an eye out for *any*
} telecommunications people - anyone who looks like they might be
} setting up a new phone line and you waste them, you got me?
} No warnings, no second chances, nothing! They're gone!"
}
} "Can do, boss. Hey, would youse like us to run a bit
} of a protection game on whatever comms dey got dere now, too?"
}
} "Great idea! Keep those hicks out of the picture entirely! I love
} your grasp of a situation, Guido. I'll pay you the usual
} fee, plus an extra bonus for this special job."
}
} <click>
}
} The Oracle owes you an offer you won't refuse.


989-07    (76nqu dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>      Oh Internet Oracle:
>
>      Your future is so bright I gotta wear shades.
>      Your intelligence is so vast as to make Star Trek NG's "Data"
>      look like a "Speak and Spell".
>      And . .  .
>      Your home made wine is delicate without being cloying.
>
>      Please tell me:
>
>      Here in America I've been trying to watch the Olympics on the CBS
>      network.  But all I've found is what appears to be a documentary
>      on the 1998 Olympics.  They seem to be showing only the last 10
>      minutes of any event. I've yet to see a single medal ceremony or
>      hear a national anthem being played. And apparently, only
>      Americans are winning medals because I rarely see any other
>      country given equal time.
>
>      Moreover, they keep showing these "local interest" stories that
>      are completely insulting to the Japanese host such as:
>
>      Stories about how weird the food is in Japan.
>      Stories about how many Americans were tortured in WWII.
>      Stories about the "coffin hotels", "beer in vending machines",
>      "tiny Japanese apartments", and other little stories that make
>      Japan look like some bizarre Felinni film.
>
>      Please tell me on what station are the real Olympics are being
>      broadcast.  I can't keep watching this bizarre "Olympics Lite".

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hi, I'm Zadoc Nantz, and we'll be back with coverage of The Oracle
} Answering Your Question right after this.
}
}    The Oracle Answering Your Question is brought to you by...
}    S.C. Johnson Wax, makers of new Woodchuck-B-Gon spray.
}    And by Bright Red Siamese Fighting Fish Food, new from Hartz.
}
} Welcome back.  Going out to the Oracle's Temple now, to watch the
} Oracle warming up to answer your question.  Our question-answering
} correspondent Alex Trebek is there.  Alex?
}
}    Thanks, Zadoc.  Now, the Oracle has been warming up for
}    15 minutes now, by answering easier questions, one right
}    after the other.  We have seen several different variations
}    on the "How much wood" question, most of which the Oracle
}    dispensed of quickly with a simple "ZOT!" reply.
}
} Alex, excuse me.  Won't those answers cost him points with the judges?
}
}    They might well do that; however, the question that is
}    to be answered during the actual competition, involving
}    televised coverage of the Olympics, is not the type of
}    question that the Oracle can deal with by using that
}    type of answer.  So we expect a long answer in competition,
}    possibly some type of parody.  Zadoc?
}
} All right, Alex, thank you.  We'll be checking in with you several
} dozen more times throughout the evening.  Now a report from Martha
} Stewart, who has been exploring the site where the Oracle will be
} answering this question.  Martha?
}
}    Thanks, Zadoc.  Bloomington, Indiana, the home of the
}    Oracle's Temple.  Even the name suggests flowers.  I went
}    out in search of some flowers to arrange.
}
}    Well, it looks like this might be a greenhouse...excuse
}    me, sir, where are the flowers?
}    "Flowers?  What?  This is a basketball gym!"
}    Basket ball?
}
}    The nice man explained "basket ball" to me.  I understand
}    it's some sort of game, played by various special interest
}    groups in this part of the country.  But for now, it was
}    off to find some flowers.
}
} And we'll have Part 2 of Martha's report coming up later in this
} broadcast. We'll be right back.
}
}    The Oracle Answering Your Question is brought to you by...
}    Mrs. Smith's pies.  Who do you want to hit in the face with
}    a pie today?
}    And by Thor brand zot staffs.  When they say "I'm Thor,"
}    it must be Thor brand.
}
} Welcome back.  The Oracle doesn't just sit in the Temple answering
} questions all day.  With a look at what the Oracle does when he's not
} answering questions, here's Mark McEwen.
}
}    Just what does an omniscient being do to relax?  He already
}    knows the plot of every movie and TV show, not to mention
}    every book.  And there's only so much napping anyone can do
}    in one day.  So what are the avocations of the Oracle?
}
} [ click ]
}
} ...CNN Headline Sports.  Last night, the Internet Oracle answered a
} question about which American network was showing the Olympics, as
} opposed to the documentary about the Olympics CBS seemed to be showing,
} with a riotously funny parody answer that ultimately led to a
} suggestion to get a satellite dish and watch the coverage from Canada.
}
} [ click ]
}
} Coming off his medal-winning question-answering performance, the
} Internet Oracle, next, right here on "Charles Grodin."
}
} [ click ]
}
} Welcome back to "Late Night."  So, Andy, how about that Internet
} Oracle, huh?
}
} [ click ]
}
} And now, an MTV World Premiere Video.  Elton John has recorded another
} new version of "Candle in the Wind," this one paying tribute to the
} Internet Oracle...
}
} [ click ]
}
}    ...but he only does that on Tuesday.  Zadoc?
}
} Thanks, Mark.  Unfortunately, we've run out of time on our broadcast
} tonight, because our affiliates get upset if their 11:00 news doesn't
} start on time, so we'll see you back here tomorrow night for our
} coverage of The Internet Oracle Answering Your Question.  Good night.
}
} [ click ]


989-08    (thpba dist, 2.5 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <cierhart@ic.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>       mov al,03
>       mov ah,00
>       int 3
>       mov ah,09
>       mov dx,offset(grovel)
>       int 21
>       mov dx,offset(pathetic_question)
>       int 21
>       mov ah,01
>
>       mov di,400
>
> input:int 21
>       cmp al,0d
>       je end
>       mov [di],bl
>       inc di
>       jmp input
>
> end:  int 21
>
>  grovel               db 'Oh oracle most cpu intensive, ' 0d 0a
>  pathetic_question    db 'How much wood, would a W**dch*ck chuck, if
> CX=3b?' 0d 0a '$'

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       .text
}       li      $v0,4
}       li      $a0, answer
}       syscall
}       li      $v0,0
}       syscall
}
}       .data
} answer: .asciiz "*ZOT*"
}
} You owe the Oracle a MIPS assembler.


989-09    (mpse3 dist, 2.5 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <cierhart@ic.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Great and Wondrous Oracle ....
> (Hmmm, no that's been done)
>
> Oh Fantibrulous, Extraculous and Umptiddlyumtious Oracle ...
> (no, excessively silly)
>
> Oh Oracle whose various bodily parts and excretions are too
> divinely immaculate for my unworthy supplicantness to even envision
> much less see ...
> (no, no, no ... way too general, although still quite true)
>
> Oh What the heck.
>
> Oracle, can you make some suggestions for a suitable grovel?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Blue metal road base, rough-edges, graded to not larger than 6mm
} diameter, not smaller than three.
}
} You owe the Oracle a Big Red Rock-eater on a diet.


989-10    (gurg3 dist, 2.6 mean)
Selected-By: "Julsy" <avedon@usa.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Juno what?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Yes I *do* know what, silly goose!  Congratulations!!!!  --And now
} that you can recognize it in 9 out of 10 tries, Zadoc will take you
} out tomorrow and show you how to recognize a hole in the ground.


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