} This is a tricky one for me to answer. After all, since I know
} everything, I always know where things are, so I have difficulty
} losing things. Even if I want to.
} Speaking of which, I think we'd be best served by asking someone
} who's regularly confused. Zadoc! Hoi, Zadoc!
} "You hollered, O Radiant Moon of Wisdom?"
} Yes. Zadoc, when you lose something, how do you go about finding
} "Well, Great Eagle of Perspicacity, since it's always in the
} last place you look I start there and work backwards."
} But it's only in the last place you look because after you've
} found it, you stop looking!
} "I don't."
} Yes, well, you've spent many years having high voltage current
} passed through you. I hardly think it prudent to draw any broad
} conclusions about humanity from your actions.
} "You'd be surprised. Or rather, you wouldn't be surprised as
} you know all in advance, O Wondrous Jewel of Sagacity, but if
} another were in your place, not that anyone could take your
} place except you, and if they were you they'd know everything in
} advance, unless - "
} YES, yes, that's enough! I feel one of my headaches coming on
} again. Please go away and have yourself beaten.
} "At once, O He Whose Mercy Droppeth as the Vicious Stinging
} Hail from Heaven!"
} *sigh* I should know better, really. Let's try someone a little
} higher up the evolutionary ladder, shall we? Kendai!
} Yep? YEP? Remember our little discussion about who was in charge
} here? The one involving prolonged stays in the woodchuck pits with
} a wooden codpiece?
} "Errr... Yep, I mean, What is your desire, O Mighty Sage?"
} That's better. Nice to see your on-the-job training is paying off.
} Now, if you'd lost something, how would you go about finding it?
} "Is this about the stapler? I was just taking it to be serviced,
} I'll have it back first thing tomorrow, it was just - "
} No, it's not about the stapler.
} "The pens, then? I swear, they must have slipped into my pocket,
} I don't know how they got there!"
} NO! I'm just asking a general question, dammit!
} "Oh! Oh. Errr... Finding lost things, eh? What I normally do is
} tell Zadoc that _you're_ looking for it, and then he turns the
} place upside down till he finds it."
} Not really a generally applicable solution, though, is it? Oh,
} well, that will be all.
} Hmmm... Supplicant, there are many methods of finding lost
} objects, and what may be best for some may not be best for others.
} Some may advocate methodical searching, others the building of a
} shed and waiting for it to turn up, still others the ruse of
} organising a scavenger hunt for the neighborhood kids. In your
} case, and the item you seek, I suggest therapy and a regular dose
} of a mild SSRI. Have you considered surgery?
} You owe the Oracle a metal detector and a lock for the stationery