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Internet Oracularities #999

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999, 999-01, 999-02, 999-03, 999-04, 999-05, 999-06, 999-07, 999-08, 999-09, 999-10


Internet Oracularities #999    (104 votes, 2.9 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 00:10:33 -0500 (EST)

To find out all about the Internet Oracle, including how to participate,
send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject
line.

Let us know what you like!  Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very poor") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to this
message).  For example:
   999
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

999  104 votes pBq79 oophe 5cqBo agAse hqFf5 fhnpo 7aqFk uupd6 9rCo6 bvzn4
999   2.9 mean  2.4   2.7   3.6   3.2   2.7   3.2   3.5   2.4   2.9   2.8


999-01    (pBq79 dist, 2.4 mean)
Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Geological time seems slow to one such as the constantly globally
> re-positioning Oracle who knows what time-zone he is in without a
> clock or lawnchair...
>
> It is said the Earth's magnetic pole was at one time in the area now
> known as the Sahara Desert, what happened to make it move?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} About seven dollars psi per constituent.  The Innuit are delighted.
}
} You owe the Oracle a team of Malamut worthy of the I-did-a-rhod.


999-02    (oophe dist, 2.7 mean)
Selected-By: mchevalier@WELLESLEY.EDU

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh oracle most wise, Oh great one of all time and space, Oh most
> joyous Oracle, Oh wondorous one, Oh magnificentor, Oh Oracle to
> whom i would sing my praises if only it wasn't for the fact that
> the last time i tried that you set Simael and the rest of your most
> Holy Inquisition and Legal Department on my back for the cost of the
> windows i broke in the temple, Oh great and joyous Oracle for whom I
> sacrifice a woodchuck every dawn, Oh splendid Oracle who never has
> to wash any of his clothes because he has Zadoc to do it for him,
> Oh exalted one, Oh he/she who is beyond description, Oh rapture,
> Oh joy, Oh light of the universe, Oh brilliant one,
>
> I praise thee Oracle with all my might, for as the world doth know,
> there can ever be only one true way - the way of the oracle, forasmuch
> as i draw lifes breath with only the thought of servitude to your
> undying holiness I must risk your undying wrath to ask only one small
> and important question.....
>
> Oh most splendiferous of all that is, or was, or will be, canst
> thou, who dost know all that there is to know even though much of
> what you know lies within the realms of what my pittiful, sniveling,
> insignificant species calls the unknowable, please just answer my most
> appalingly stupid of questions, even though my question may interupt
> something important, such as cleaning the lint from your belly button
> or reviewing the reports from the Experimental W**dch*ck Torture,
> Obliteration, Maiming And Genocide Committee (EWTOMAGC), Oh most mighty
> Oracle, whose knowledge of the reasons why AOL is worse than Microsoft
> is so complete it make the Encyclopedia Galactica look like the "Roger
> Red Hat" books children learn to read from, whose ability to pick up
> beautiful girls is exceeded only by Lisas ability to make his life a
> misery if he takes their offers up, whose inventiveness makes Alexander
> Graham Bell look like an amoeba by comparison and whose patience is
> so renowned that he can bear to sit through a thousand excruicatingly
> nauseating grovels every day and still fight down the impluse to vomit
> until Zadoc comes in range. Oh Oracle, who can answer any question
> that may be set to him instantly and mailbomb cyberpromo at the same
> time, who has Lisa, who inventively tortures Zadoc, who has a miriad
> of priests and incarnations please answer my simple question......
>
> Is there a translation of the word "Ni!", and if so, what is it?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       Look Ni,
}
}         Your mom liked the name, and until you're 18 you are legally
}         stuck with it... You could go by your middle name of Ckel,
}         but I advise against it.
}
}         As to what your name means:
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}                                     Ni
}
}    Your name of Ni has many sterling qualities but does not give you an
}    overall stability. Everything you do is done with an intensity to
}    the point of fervor, you will grovel so much others will grow bored
}    at it. Your mom is likely a nut. People often disappoint you because
}    you are idealistic and are apt to place those whom you admire on a
}    pedestal.  You are growing sleepy, sleepy. You feel a need to send
}    the Oracle a box of chocolate donuts.  Then you become disillusioned
}    when they fall short of your expectations. You are quick mentally
}    and like to see things moving at an accelerated pace. Patience is
}    not one of your virtues--you want to move when the impulse strikes
}    you. Donuts, send the Oracle donuts. Lisa sez I am getting chubby
}    and can not have anymore until I drop 10 pounds. Donuts. While such
}    spontaneity is fine at times, you must take account, donuts, donuts.
}    of conditions and employ careful analysis so as to avoid disastrous
}    results due to hasty actions. Most things you do, you do well, but
}    as soon as the food, hobby, or snack becomes familiar or routine,
}    you become bored and crave a twisted glaze. Send donuts. Travel and
}    new horizons ever intrigue you, but your hunger for greener onions
}    is insatiable, and so you never experience contentment and peace of
}    mind.  There is such a driving power within you. If you cannot find
}    an omelet, or if your actions are thwarted in some way, you feel the
}    reaction through extreme tension in the region of your solar plexus,
}    that is hunger, send me some donuts and the intensity and consequent
}    outbursts leave hurt feelings in their wake--usually involving those
}    closest to you. You will remember little of this message when you
}    awake and you will go instantly and mail me some donuts. However,
}    the name makes you far too sensitive and high-strung, and could
}    cause you to suffer with nervous indigestion or ulcers or hunger.
}
} I think you know what you owe the Oracle.


999-03    (5cqBo dist, 3.6 mean)
Selected-By: mchevalier@WELLESLEY.EDU

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, who wears the pants in this neck of the Universe, please
> address this short question for me . . .
>
> Discounting Scotland here for the moment, HOW did it come to
> be the way of the Western World for males to wear pants and
> females skirts?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Okay, okay, the Oracle catches your drift.  How much for the pictures
} AND the negatives?


999-04    (agAse dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: mchevalier@WELLESLEY.EDU

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Great Oracle, at the risk of being ZOTed, I wish to voice a
> grievance against you.  In a recent Oracularity, you complained
> about guys who ask questions on the order of "How can I find out
> whether such-and-such a woman likes me or not?" and you claimed they
> could just go and ask the woman, who would then say either yes or no.
> Well, I think you've been with Lisa long enough that you haven't had
> to deal with this situation for quite awhile.  In fact, it's nowhere
> near as simple as you're making it out to be.  Women will make all
> kinds of crazy excuses and go to any length to pretend they don't
> know what you're asking them before they'll just tell you straight
> out that they aren't interested in you.
>
> The one I find especially infuriating is, "I don't know if I can go out
> with you that night because I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing."
> If you aren't sure what you're going to be doing, then it follows
> logically that you aren't already committed to something, which means
> you could accept the invitation if you wanted to.  Another goodie is,
> "But you have to get to be friends before you can be anything more
> than that," said after you've known the person for about five years,
> when both you and her know couples who've gotten married within a
> year after meeting.  Of course, during the five years you've know the
> woman, every request for a date has been met with,  "I don't know if
> I can go out with you that night because I'm not sure what I'm going
> to be doing."  Furthermore, this practice seems to be an accepted
> method of dealing with unwanted attention in our culture.  I remember
> complaining about it to a female co-worker, who informed me, in a tone
> of voice that made it clear she thought I'd just said the stupidest
> thing on Earth, that, "You don't *tell* the guy you're not interested.
> You keep making excuses and wait for him to get the idea."
>
> So do you mean to tell us that you, who have existed since the dawn
> of time, have never encountered the female instance on refusing to
> give a direct answer to the question of "Are you interested in me?"?
> And if you *have* encountered it, I think you owe all supplicants
> involved an answer that takes it into account.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I'll say this  R-e-a-l   S-l-o-w;
}
} I-f   S-h-e   d-o-e-s   n-o-t   s-a-y   y-e-s
}
} t-h-e-n   t-h-e   a-n-s-w-e-r  i-s   N-O
}
} I am far more worried about supplicants asking ethereal entities for
} love advice than anything a flesh and blood real live female says to
} them.
}
} Go out into the Big Blue Room. Talk to HUMANS.
}
} You owe the Oracle a promise not to be at home on the Saturday Night on
} which I am sending this to you... yes I am here on a Sat. clever one,
} but I am a timeless immortal, and <polite cough> I am not alone.


999-05    (hqFf5 dist, 2.7 mean)
Selected-By: Mike Nolan <nolan@celery.tssi.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Who is Monica Lewinsky and why is she tapping at my window?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Bill, you can quit playing dumb. I know you had an affair with Ms.
} Lewinsky;
} I'm omniscient, remember? Now as for your grovel (or lack thereof) I
} *WILL* Zot you next time.
}
} <knock at door>
}
} Who is it?
}
} <A group of Secret Service officers (SSO) enter, breaking down the
} door>
}
} Cheif SSO:   Oracle, you're under arrest for threatening the President.
}              You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can
}              and will be used against you in a court of law, [Miranda
}              Rights edited for brevity]
}
} You owe the Oracle a really good attorney (preferably not Ken Starr).


999-06    (fhnpo dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: Darkmage <DAVIS@wehi.edu.au>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O Fab Oracle,
>
> Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I am sorry, But I HATE that song...
} Here are the words to the rest of the LP
} though..
} =================================================================
}
} The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
}
}    1.The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
}    2.A Little Help From My Supplicants
}    3.Lisa In The Queue With Askmes
}    4.Getting Letters
}    5.Fixing AOL
}    6.She's Tying Up the Phone
}    7.Being For The Benefit Of Og the Troglodyte
}    8.Within Queue Without Queue
}    9. [track missing]
}   10.Lovely Ogwa
}   11.Good Question Good Question
}   12.The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band (reprise)
}   13.A Day In The Life
}
} The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} It was <many> years ago today,
} The Oracle taught Zadoc and Lisa how to type
} Since then they've experienced a lot of hype
} But they're guaranteed to fill a queue.
} So may I introduce to you
} The act you've known for all these years,
} The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} We're The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} We hope you will enjoy this answer,
} We're The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} Sit back and let the evening go.
} The Oracle's Kill the, The Oracles Kill the
} The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} It's wonderful to be here,
} A w..dch..k is made to be killed.
} You're such a lovely audience,
} We'd like to take you home with us,
} We'd love to take you home.
} I don't really want to stop the answer,
} But I thought that you might like to know,
} That the Oracle's going to type some words ,
} And he wants you all to know some are absurd,
} So let me introduce to you
} The cause of all of Zadoc's Fears
} And The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
}
} A Little Help From My Supplicants (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} A little help from my supplicants
} What would you think if I punked out on an answer too soon
} Would you stand up and walk out on me.
} Lend me your eyes and I'll point at the moon
} A zen reference hopefully known not just by me,
} I get by with a little help from my supplicants,
} I get high with a little help from my supplicants,
} Going to try with a little help from my supplicants.
} What do I do when my tellmes go astray
} (Does it worry you to be using a phone?)
} How do I feel by the end of the day
} (Are you sad because you're on the phone?)
} No I jest dry with a little help from my supplicants,
} Do you need anybody,
} I need somebody to ask.
} Could it be anybody
} I want somebody to ask.
} Would you believe in a digesting at first sight,
} Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.
} What do you see when you turn out the light,
} I can't tell you, `cause it's way too dark
} Oh I smirk sly with a little help from my supplicants,
} Do you need anybody,
} I just need somebody to tell
} Could it be anybody,
} I want somebody to tell
} I get Bill pied with a little help from my supplicants,
} Yes I deep fried with a little help from my supplicants,
} With a little help from my supplicants.
}
} Lisa in the Queue with Askmes (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} Picture yourself in a T1 off a backbone
} With tangled lines and <many> crossed lines
} Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
} A girl with horribly bloodshot eyes.
} hello phone supplicants of yellow and green,
} Towering over your head.
} Look for the girl with the zot in her eyes,
} And she's gone.
} Lisa in the queue with askmes.
} Follow her down to a ridge on a big dog,
} Where rock n roll people eat buckets of Spanish-like flies,
} Everyone smiles as you drift way off topic,
} As long as you don't say they have thunder thighs
} New queues of askmes appear at the door,
} Waiting to take time away.
} Climb in the sack with your imitation Turin Shroud,
} And you're gone.
} Lisa in the queue with askmes,
} Picture an elf on a tree in a cookie,
} With plastic explosives to blow w..sch..ks sky high,
} Suddenly someone is messing w/ the turntable,
} The girl with the horribly bloodshot eyes.
}
} Getting Letters (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} It's getting letters all the time
} I used to get mad at my .edu
} Those w/ root access weren't cool
} You're holding up me email, you BOFHers
} Filling me up with your rules.
} I've got to admit ~/.mail is getting letters
} A little letters all the time
} I have to admit ~/.mail is getting letters
} It's getting letters since you've been on the line
} Me used to be a angry young student
} Me hiding me head under a hat
} You gave me bootleg Word
} I flipped Bill the bird
} I'm getting some rest, then work me tan
} I've got to admit ~/.mail is getting letters
} I used to be cruel to my admins
} I misuses lpr and kept parts of programs that really weren't mine
} Man I was mean but I'm changing my undershorts
} And I'm do need a rest and a tan,
} I admit ~/.mail is getting letters
} A little letters all the time
} Yes I admit ~/.mail is getting letters
} It's getting letters since you've been on the line
}
} Fixing a Hole (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} I'm fixing AOL so no brain gets in
} And stops AOLers from wondering
} Why does it blow
} I'm snorting up crack I got from a whore
} And stops ah, err, I'm wandering
} Why does it blow
} And it really doesn't matter if I'm long
} I'm right,
} Where I belong I'm right
} Where I belong.
} in the chat rooms babbling too long
} I'm fixing AOL so no brain gets in
} And starts my mind to functioning
}
} She's Tying Up the Phone (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begins
} Silently closing her bedroom door
} Leaving the note that she hoped would say more
} She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her handkerchief
} Quietly turning the backdoor key
} Stepping outside she is free.
} She (We gave her most of our lives)
} is tying up (Sacrificed most of our lives)
} the phone (We gave her everything money could buy)
} She's tying up the phone after sharing the phone
} For so many years. Bye, bye
} Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown
} Picks up the fax that's lying there
} Standing alone at the top of the stairs
} She breaks down and cries to her husband
} Daddy our baby's gone.
} Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly
} How could she do this to me.
} She (We never though of ourselves)
} Is tying up (Never a thought for ourselves)
} the phone (We struggled hard all our lives to get by)
} She's tying up the phone after sharing the phone
} For so many years. Bye, bye
} Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away
} Waiting to keep the appointment she made
} Meeting a man from the ISP
} She What did we do that was wrong
} Is having We didn't know it was wrong
} Unlimited Net Access is one thing that money can buy
} Something inside that was always denied
} For so many years. Bye, Bye
} She's tying up the phone bye bye
}
} Being for the Benefit of Og the Troglodyte! (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} For the benefit of Og the Troglodyte
} There will be a show tonight on trampling
} The w..dch..ks will all be there
} As we rip off all their hair-what a scene
} Overlords and divorces endless loops and barters
} Lastly through a ch..k head w/ real fire!
} In this way Og will challenge the world!
} The celebrated Og
} washes just his feet on Saturdays at tarpit lake
} The w..dch..ks will bark and scream
} As Og the Troglodyte tears off pterodactyl wings don't be late
} Messy Og slurs in public
} Og pronunciations are understandable by none
} And of course Zadoc will of course take a pratfall!
} Og losses track of numbers long before six
} As Og performs his tricks on top of the ground
} And Og will perspirate
} Ten marmots he'll desecrate with laughing sounds
} Having spread some hay in preparation
} A splendid slime is guaranteed to all
} And tonight Og the Troglodyte is pieing Bill!
}
} Within Queue Without Queue (Orrie)
}
} We were talking-about the space between us all
} And the people-who hide themselves behind a wall of queues
} Never glimpse the truth-then it's far too late-when they pass away.
} We were talking-about the queue we all could share-when we find it
} To try our best to hold it there-with our queue
} With our queue-we could save the world-if they only knew.
} Try to realize it's all within queuerself
} No-one else can make queue change
} And to see queue're really only very small,
} And life flows within queue and without queue.
} We were talking-about the queue that's gone so cold and the people,
} Who gain the digest and lose their soul-
} They don't know-they can't see-are queue one of them?
} When queue've seen beyond queuerself-then queue may find, peace of
} mind,
} Is waiting there-
} And the time will come when queue see
} we're all one, and life flows on within queue and without queue.
}
} When I'm Sixty-Four (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} [track  missing]
}
} Lovely Ogwa (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} Ogwa has it made
} Ogwa has it made
} Ogwa has it made
} Nothing can come between rocks,
} When it gets dark I Og your rock away.
} Standing by a giant ground sloth,
} When I caught a glimpse of Ogwa,
} standing in a thicket in her little white butt.
} taking a c..p she looked much older,
} And the fur across her shoulder
} Made her look a little like a saber-tooth cat
} Ogwa has it made
} May I inquire discreetly,
} When are you free,
} To take some muddy water with me.
} Took her out and tried to catch some dinner
} Had a laugh as we grew thinner
} Told her I would really like to see her again,
} found a duck's bill and Ogwa ate it,
} Took her home (I had nearly made it),
} Sitting on the rock with a ogling or two.
} Oh, lovely Ogwa you've  got it made
} Where would I be without shoes
} Give us a stink and make me think of you.
}
} Good Question, Good Question (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} Nothing to do Question Two: 'What is life' call his wife in
} Nothing to say but Question A: 'what a greek vase pay'
} Nothing to do it's up to foo
} I've got nothing to say but it's QA.
} Good question, good question...
} Going to work don't want to go feeling low down
} Heading for home you start to foam then you drown
} Everybody knows there's nothing fooing
} Everything is closed it's like a bruin
} Everyone you see is half a creep.
} And you're on your own you're in the street
} Good question, good question...
} After a while you start to smile now you feel drool.
} Then you decide to take a walk by the old fool
} Nothing has changed it's still the same
} I've got nothing to say but it's O.K.
} Good question, good question...
} People running round it's five o'clock.
} Everywhere in town is getting like a park.
} Everyone you see is full of it.
} It's time for deltree and meet the bits.
} Somebody needs to know the time, glad that `date` s here
} Cough on your shirt as you started to burp now you're in fear.
} Go to a john, you hope she's gone
} I've got nothing to say but it's O.D.ed
} Good question, good question...
}
} The Oracle's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)
} (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} We're The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} We hope you enjoy eating crow
} The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} We're sorry but it's time to go.
}  Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks
}  Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks
}  Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks
}  Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks
}  The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} We'd like to warn you not to ping
} The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
} It's getting very near the thing
}  Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks
}  Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks
}  The Oracle's Kill The W..dch..ks Zottin' Garage Band
}
} A Day in the Life (Lisa/Orrie)
}
} I read USENET today oh boy
} About the yucky man who made the spam
} And though the news was rather sad
} Well I just had to laugh
} I saw the .sig
} the guy was such a pig
} He didn't notice that the winds had changed
} A crowd of people stood and flamed
} They'd seen his spam before
} Nobody was really sure
} if it was him, but they were bored,
} I saw a .jpg today oh boy
} An English Nanny had not closed the door
} A crowd of people turned away
} but I just had to look
} Having been a fan of Capt. Hook
} I'll turn the coffee on
} broke up, kicked out of bed,
} smashed a bottle on my head
} Fell downstairs and feed the pup,
} And looking in the obits noticed I was late.
} Found my coat and fed the cat
} Made the bus run extra fast
} Found my cubicle still there (like they care)
} send an askme and ordered coffee extra cream
} I read USENET today oh joy
} Four thousand holes in NT
} And though the holes were rather small
} They had to count them all
} Now they know how many holes it takes to take down a firewall
} I'd love to turn you in


999-07    (7aqFk dist, 3.5 mean)
Selected-By: "Alyce Wilson" <berlin63@hotmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh most wise Oracle.
>
> How can I quit smoking?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Stop, drop, and roll.
}
} You owe the Oracle a Fred the Fireman poster.


999-08    (uupd6 dist, 2.4 mean)
Selected-By: clemenr@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Hey! You! Yeah you, you Orri-fice! You suck!
>
> Answer this question you Woodchuck!
>
> Does my ZOT-proof e-mail account work?
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------
> Get your private, free ZOT-proof e-mail. http://www.zotmail.com

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Of course not!
}
} ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ          OOOOOOOOO        TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
}                ZZ         OO       OO             TT
}               ZZ         OO         OO            TT
}              ZZ         OO           OO           TT
}             ZZ         OO             OO          TT
}            ZZ          OO             OO          TT
}           ZZ           OO             OO          TT
}          ZZ            OO             OO          TT
}         ZZ             OO             OO          TT
}        ZZ              OO             OO          TT
}       ZZ               OO             OO          TT
}      ZZ                OO             OO          TT
}     ZZ                 OO             OO          TT
}    ZZ                  OO             OO          TT
}   ZZ                    OO           OO           TT
}  ZZ                      OO         OO            TT
} ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ         OOOOOOOOOOO             TT
}
} You owe the Oracle new batteries for my ZOT(tm)Tronics Raygun.


999-09    (9rCo6 dist, 2.9 mean)
Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, whose scope of the universe is but a laser point to my narrow
> intellect,
>
> How does Chelsea fit into all this?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} North of the Thames, between Pimlico, West Brompton and South
} Kensington.
}
} You owe the Oracle a map of the London Underground and a Rhodes
} Scholarship.


999-10    (bvzn4 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: clemenr@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise,
> most omnipotent, most beneficient,
> most something or other.
>
> Could you answer me a question?
>
> Over in RHOD they are discussing the potential outcomes of
> a merger between Microsoft and McDonalds.  While some of the
> speculation is rather interesting I though I would go to
> the source of all Use^H^H^H Internet knowledge.  So tell me
> what would happen.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No more Big Macs.
}
} You owe the Oracle the patience of Jobs.


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