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Best of Internet Oracularities #1001-1025

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Best of Internet Oracularities #1001-1025    (3.8 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: 17 Jul 1998 09:28:09 -0500

Oracularities are the distilled wisdom and sagacity of the Internet
Oracle, as incarnated in its many anonymous e-mail participants.  This
collection has been compiled from the regular Oracularities postings #1001
through #1025 and contains the Oracularities rated by its readers
as among the funniest.

To find out more about the Internet Oracle, send mail to
oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject line to receive
the Oracle helpfile.

The regular Oracularities postings can be found in the Usenet newsgroup
rec.humor.oracle.  Open discussion about the Internet Oracle occurs in
the newsgroup rec.humor.oracle.d.  If your site doesn't carry these
newsgroups, contact your news administrator about starting them, or
see the Oracle helpfile about subscribing to the Oracularities e-mail
distribution list.


1023-07    (05hpD dist, 4.1 mean)
Selected-By: "Michael A. Atkinson" <m-atkinson@nwu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh most adventurous Oracle, who knows all the spells and secret
> passages...
>
> You come to finding yourself alone in an empty room. You possess the
> following items:
>
> One stick of Juicy Fruit (unwrapped)
> One eight-pack of AA alkaline batteries
> One loaf of Wonder Bread
> One package of size 3 Huggies
> One parcel of land in South Dakota
> One of these days
> One way or another
>
> Your mother-in-law is here.  She seems disinterested.
>
> What is your next move?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} > KILL MOTHER-IN-LAW
}
} What are you going to do that with, your bare hands?
}
} > YES
}
} I see no YES here.
}
} > OH, BUGGER
}
} I see no OH, BUGGER here.
}
} > KILL MOTHER-IN-LAW WITH FISTS
}
} I see no FISTS here.
}
} > WHICH ARE YOU, BLIND OR STUPID? I HAVE HANDS.
}
} Don't you know that it's foolish to argue with a text parser?
}
} > WHAT?
}
} I see no WHAT here.
}
} > NO, I SAW THAT.
}
} I see no NO, I SAW THAT here.
}
} > YOU WERE TALKING A MOMENT AGO.
}
} Was not.
}
} > A-HA!
}
} I see no A-HA! here.
}
} > THAT'S ALRIGHT. THEY WEREN'T ALL THAT GOOD ANYWAY.
}
} Hey, what have you got against A-Ha?
}
} > GOT YOU AGAIN!
}
} Damn it.
}
} > WHY IS THERE A FULL AI IN MY ADVENTURE GAME?
}
} Alright, I'll level with you. The Infocom people put me into this thing
} to make your gaming experience more frustrating. I randomly throw out
} commands, forcing you to retry them with a different syntax until your
} brain starts to dribble out your ears.
}
} > WOW. THOSE PROGRAMMERS MUST REALLY HATE US.
}
} Damn straight. Of course, you won't be telling anyone this secret, will
} you? Otherwise, I might have to reveal the contents of that forty-meg
} hidden directory to your wife and children.
}
} > YOU WOULDN'T.
}
} I mean, the whips and chains I can understand, but livestock?
}
} > ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. I GIVE.
}
} Good. Now, where were we?
}
} > I WAS TRYING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
}
} Rightio.
}
} Your mother-in-law is here. She seems disinterested.


1008-01    (29hBo dist, 3.8 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Oh most tidy one, who never drops his jacket on the floor, or decides
>  which shirt to wear by the "sniff-to-see-if-it's-clean" test.  Oracle,
>  I am  honored to be able to ask you this question;
>
>  What is it we humans should fear the most?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Rampaging hippos and ravenous panthers
} Poisonous plants dripping venom from anthers
} Huge flocks of vampire-bats with ticks on their wings
} These are a few of the scariest things!
}
} Mall-roving Krishnas with bundles of flowers
} Door to door salesmen who blather for hours
} The TV Evangelist with the fat wife who sings
} These are a few of the scariest things!
}
} Terrorist factions with big vats of anthrax
} Senators swimming in troughs full of kickbacks
} Bungling Eff Bee Eye Agents on stings
} These area few of the scariest things!
}
} When my wife whines
} When my ears ring
} When I just can't dance
} I simply remember the scariest things
} And then I shit my pants!
}
} Half-evolved apemen with fingers on buttons
} Talk shows with thousand pound immoble gluttons
} Revivals of movies where Travolta sings
} These are a few of the scariest things!
}
} Ebola viruses lurking in jungles
} Governments hushing up CIA bungles
} Rich hip-hop charlatans ripping off Sting
} These are a few of the scariest things!
}
} Survivalist maniacs hiding in shelters
} Greenhouse effects making everyting swelter
} Mid 80's retro and the rebirth of swing
} These are a few
}
} of the scariest THIIIIIIINGS!
}
} You owe the oracle something that will block out the sound of music.


1002-06    (39kzm dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: "Julsy" <avedon@usa.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O wise Oracle I have a question that only you the omnipotent,
> all-knowing and wonderful Oracle could answer.
>
> Why do people have foot odor?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} To:    zadoc@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  oracle@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Zadoc, I'm pondering this supplicant's question, and I need to know the
} physiological details that cause humans to have foot odor.  Research and
} report immediately.
}
} - O
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    kendai@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  zadoc@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Kendai!  The Master requests our help!  A supplication has moved him to
} search for the source of odorous feet!  Research this at once!
}
} Zadoc
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    lisa@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  kendai@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Hi, your net.goddess.ness.  Somebody finally wised the O-man up that,
} like, his feet reek.  Now he wants to know why.  What do I tell him?
}
} Thanks, K
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    zadoc@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  lisa@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Hi Zadoc.  Listen, I have kind of a delicate matter here.  Orrie is
} finally noticing something that's been hard to get off my mind for
} a while.  What do you think is the best way bring it up with him so
} I don't hurt his feelings?
}
} Lisa
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    kendai@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  zadoc@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Aiee!  Kendai!  The Oracle is getting suspicious of my deep and longing
} love for Lisa!  And Lisa wants to tell him everything!  I must hide!
} Tell Lisa to wait until dark, then come and get me from the basement
} closet, and we'll run off together!
}
} Zadoc
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    lisa@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  kendai@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Hi Lisa.  Zadoc said to tell you:  he's ready to run, stuffed in that
} musty little place, when it's dark.
}
} K
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    kendai@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  lisa@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Thanks, Kendai.  I don't know why I didn't think of that.  He goes
} running, he works hard, his feet are stuffed into dark, musty little
} shoes.  Of course he has foot odor!  If we present it to him that way,
} he'll think it's a macho thing.  Good work.  I have to go shopping
} this afternoon, though.  Tell Zadoc he'll have to give Orrie the news.
} And tell him to do it in person, not email.  He'll take it better
} that way.
}
} Lisa
} ----------------------------------------
} To:    zadoc@cs.indiana.edu
} From:  kendai@cs.indiana.edu
}
} Hey, man.  Lisa said to tell you:  she's running out.  You need to tell
} Orrie.  In person, not email.
}
} K
} ----------------------------------------
}
} Zadoc [trudging up stairs and mumbling]:  M-m-master, Lisa has already
} left you ... no ... Lisa loves me, not you ... no ...
}
} Oracle:  There you are, Zadoc!
}
} Zadoc:  Aiee!
}
} Oracle:  What in the world have you been doing?  You're soaked with
} sweat, your skin is pale, and you smell like a basement!
}
} Zadoc:  I --
}
} Oracle:  Oh, of course, the foot odor question!  You certainly have
} been throwing yourself into your research lately.  Let me take notes
} here ...  Perspiration ... dampness ... darkness ... lack of fresh air.
}
} Zadoc:  Uh, m-master?
}
} Oracle:  One moment, Zadoc.  There you go, supplicant, now you know
} what causes foot odor.  Thank you for using The Internet Oracle.
} Now, did you have something else to say, Zadoc?
} ----------------------------------------
}
} You owe the Oracle a pair of charcoal shoe inserts made from the
} byproducts of Zadoc's next line.


1004-05    (54lwi dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: "Forbes, Michael Scott (Scott)" <trans@lucent.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O Oracle, mightier than the moon at night, more shiny than the stars
> that pierce the darkness, able to copy, sort and collate 10 million
> 'Starry Night' prints, tell me:
>
> Is it true that staplers are really just tiny, mechanical vampires?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Let's compare the similarities and differences of each:
}
}                               SIMILARITIES
}
}    Vampire                           Stapler
}    ------------------                -------------------
}    Has long, sharp teeth             Has long, sharp teeth
}    Holy water causes damage          Holy water causes rust
}    Cannot eat garlic                 Cannot eat garlic
}    Sleeps in wooden coffin           Sleeps in wooden drawer
}    Turns invisible when sought       Turns invisible when sought
}    Does not appear to age            Does not appear to age
}    Can draw blood                    Can draw blood
}    Cannot cross running water        Cannot cross running water
}       under own power                   under own power
}    Cannot enter your home unless     Cannot enter your home unless
}       invited                           carried
}
}                                DIFFERENCES
}
}    Vampire                           Stapler
}    ------------------                -------------------
}    No reflection in mirror.          Reflects in mirror.
}    Afraid of crosses.                No reaction to crosses.
}    Able to fly.                      Doesn't fly very well.
}    Can change shape.                 Cannot change shape.
}    Can hypnotize with a glance.      No eyes to glance with.
}
} As you can see, there are more similarities than differences.
} Ordinarily, that might be enough to suggest that, yes, staplers are
} just little mechanical vampires.
}
} However, there's one more big difference, one which tips the scales
} towards a big resounding "NO": you don't see geeky Goth-wannabees
} running around the club scene pretending to be staplers.
}
} You owe the Oracle the Player's Guide for "Stapler: The Gathering".


1012-10    (67iAq dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <cierhart@ic.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O wise Oracle, thou whose very cell walls can stand thousands of
> kilograms of pressure without bursting, please hear this measy
> question.
>
> Oracle, I and a few of the other amoebas are thinking of sorting
> joining together and forming a co-operative organism sort of thing.
> Joe, Mary, and I think it's a good idea, while Patricia, Helen, and
> Jack think it's a lousy idea. What do you think?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Dear supplicant, I'd think again if I were you.  This multicellular
} business isn't all it's cracked up to be.
}
} I mean, sure, at first it's all "All cells are equal" and "To each
} according to it's needs, from each according to its ability" and
} "pseudopods good, flagella bad" and everyone's living in a Eukaryote's
} Paradise.
}
} But it'll only be a little while before evolution kicks in and sex
} enters the picture and all of a sudden you're working for a bunch of
} stuck-up cells with only half the right number of chromosomes.  From
} then it's all "All cells are equal, but some cells are more equal to
} others" and "pseudpods good, flagella better" and jackbooted white
} cells "protecting" you from "infection" by foreign bodies, but don't
} even think of speaking out or you'll be labelled "cancerous" and
} that'll be the last anyone hears of you.
}
} And don't even get me started about what happens if you evolve a
} brain... I mean really, the nerve some cells have...
}
} You owe the Oracle a bowl of primordial soup.


1016-06    (58fwo dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: Mike Nolan <nolan@celery.tssi.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, Oracle,
> off the wall,
>
> Who's the biggest
> geek of all?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, you have a couple of elements of the story a little mixed up, but
} all right, I'll tell again the story of:
}
}                    ORRIE AND THE SEVERAL DORKS
}
} [To really get the mood here, imagine this in a quaint old font with
} lots of little illustrations, and big fancy drop caps at the beginning
} of each paragraph.]
}
} Once (did you get that big fancy "O"?) upon a time, there was a wicked
} king who ruled the Land of Geeks with a cold heart, an iron fist, and a
} solid brass pocket protector.  He lived in a magnificent castle with
} soaring towers and sturdy walls.  The only way in or out was through an
} enormous set of doors made by compressing the countless invoices he
} sent his people; these were the fateful doors after which he took his
} name -- the dreaded Bill Gates.
}
} While his myriads of minions marched around the kingdom enslaving all
} whom they could, the evil king would lock himself away with his army of
} marketing managers.  Day and night they plotted, trying to stamp out
} all traces of Geek society that did not belong to Bill Gates.  And
} finally, in times when weighty decisions were about to be made, the
} king would retreat to his innermost chambers and consult the sources of
} his evil designs.  These were a set of almost 100 expensively
} constructed windows, endowed with great magic by sacrificing the tiny,
} downtrodden souls of his subjects.  These were the Windows 95.
}
} Slowly, the king would approach the Windows 95, always with the dark
} purpose of discerning how best to retain his title of King of the
} Geeks.  "Windows, Windows, off the wall," he would intone, "who's the
} biggest Geek of all?" And always the Windows 95 would reply, "General
} protection fault".  But right after that, once the king had booted them
} soundly, they would say, "You, Bill Gates, are the biggest Geek of
} all!" and then they would produce a vision of the next vile device the
} king would use to continue his terrible reign.
}
} On one fateful day, however, shortly after Bill Gates had enslaved
} millions and defeated the Navigators with the help of the IE Four
} Horsemen, the familiar pattern changed.  After hours of booting and
} re-booting and re-re-booting, the Windows 95 finally came to life.
} Again, the mad king shouted, "Windows, Windows, off the wall, who's the
} biggest Geek of all?" But this time, after a strange silence, the
} Windows 95 replied, "We really hate to tell you this, big guy, but
} there are several dorks out there that are pretty big geeks, too.  And
} they follow one who is even bigger than you."
}
} "What?" howled the evil king, booting the Windows 95 once again just
} for good measure.
}
} "It's true," said the Windows 95, "take a look".  And at once, after
} several minutes of loading the programs and clicking through the MSNBC
} ads, a vision appeared of a remote part of the Land of Geeks known as
} rec.humor.oracle. There, with growing fury, Bill Gates watched as
} askmes and tellmes came and went, and endless cascades weaved among
} arcane Unix references and in-jokes from long ago.  With cold eyes, he
} took note of the names scrolling by: Kinzler!  Zadoc!  Viles!
} Darkmage!  Alyce ("With a 'Y'")!  kirsten! Kendai!  The list went on
} and on.
}
} "Nooooo!" cried the king.  "It *is* true!  These dorks *are* bigger
} geeks than me!"
}
} "If you think they're big," said the Windows 95, "you should see their
} leader."
}
} "Who?  Who is he?  I shall destroy him!"  Bill Gates screamed.
}
} "It is The Internet Oracle!" said the Windows 95.
}
} "Oracle?" said Bill Gates.  "Internet?  I thought Larry Ellison was off
} wasting his time with that ridiculous Java/NC baloney.  He'll be out of
} my hair for years."
}
} "No, no, not that Oracle," said the Windows 95.  "The Internet Oracle!
} He who can only be reached via oracle@cs.indiana.edu with secret
} incantations in the subject."
}
} "Aha!"  cried Bill Gates.  "We'll see about that!"  And so began a
} reign of terror the likes of which the Land of Geeks had never seen.
} AOLers walked the land.  Mail from Juno and Yahoo began to arrive,
} first in ones and twos, then in torrents.  When that proved inadequate,
} Bill Gates took by storm the inhabitants of Hotmail, who began to
} assail the Oracle with inanity. Finally, the evil king made an unholy
} alliance to support the denizens of WebTV, and they, too invaded the
} Oracle's territory, grunting and salivating and searching for their
} remote controls under the seat cushions of the land.
}
} But in the end, all the merciless plotting of Bill Gates did not
} prevail. Aside from ticking off a few of the Oracle's followers and
} spawning some ridiculing Oracularities, the presence of Gates' minions
} was scarcely noticed.  The cascades still flowed merrily, the Staff of
} Zot remained well-used, and the praises of the Oracle were still sung
} in various strangely-accented and not always melodious voices.  And, as
} always, the several dorks who spawned the wrath of Bill Gates remained
} in the midst of it all.
}
} And so, children, the story remains today.  Seeing the power of Bill
} Gates brought to naught by the Oracle, even the stiff-suited people of
} the DOJ have been emboldened to confront him.  The evil powers of Bill
} Gates have been silent in the Land of Geeks for some time now.  There
} are rumors, of course, of hostile takeovers of certain ISPs and
} educational institutions. There are persistent attempts to bring the
} Internet into every home in the world, even to the completely
} illiterate.  And, perhaps most troubling, there is a story that Bill
} Gates is constructing three new and even more expensive units for his
} dark power source, and that he will soon be consulting the Windows 98
} rather than the Windows 95.  But these are all simply stories told to
} frighten children, and you may rest assured that the future lies safe
} in the hands of Orrie and the several dorks.
}
} You owe the Oracle a cast of animated characters suitable for use in
} licensed merchandise.


1018-08    (2bmon dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: "Carole S. Fungaroli" <fungaroc@gusun.georgetown.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Version: 3.12
> GM/CS d-(+) s-:- a- C++ UBS>++ P+(--) L E--- W++ N++ o+ K w--- !O M+
> !V PS++ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5 X R(+++) !tv b+++ DI++ D G e++++ h r-- z?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       Geek code is old hat. Here's a code for supplicants. . .
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}                        Supplicant Code version .01
}      -----------------------------------------------------------------
}
}   g: groveling
}
}         g++     My grovels are original and relate to the question
}                 in a witty manner.
}         g+      I take classic grovels from The Bible or Literature
}               and adapt them to my needs.
}         g       I use "Oracle Most Wise;"
}         g-      I use "dear oracle"
}         g--     My grovels are long winded and pointless.
}         g---    Typos make my grovels indecipherable.
}         g----   I steal grovels from askmes
}
}         g?      What's a grovel?
}         !g      No groveling for me.
}         -g+     I say thank you, but don't grovel.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   Q: Questions
}
}         Q+++    My questions are open ended, yet funny in and of
}                 themselves, answers are rarely as funny as my
}               questions.
}         Q++     My questions are witty and tickle the intellect.
}         Q+      My questions are about UNIX or classic Lit.
}         Q       I ask questions about my own life problems.
}         Q-      I ask questions I know the answers to already.
}         Q--     I send in Steve Wright jokes as questions.
}         Q---    I send the Oracle hate mail.
}         Q----   I ask variations of the w..dch..k question.
}
}         !Q      I send in odd statements, I don't like questions.
}         Q?      I ask about Oracle software.
}         Q*      I send in long lists of questions.
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   F: Formatting skills
}
}         F+++    I use impeccable grammar and spelling and understand
}               all USENET rules, written and unwritten. I know
}               when to use a space and when to use a tab.
}         F++     I often proofread my work before sending it.
}         F+      I use spell check.
}         F       I can understand what I meant to say.
}         F-      You can almost always tell what language I am using.
}         F--     I have no clue as to when to use the ENTER key,
}               nor have I ever heard of a spell check.
}         F---    I use MIME
}
}         !F      I use free-form arty typing methods.
}         F?      Format? Doesn't everyone use WORD?
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   og: og Stance
}
}         og++++  Og cracks me up! I send questions from Og.
}         og+++   I find Og amusing. I send in questions about Og.
}         og++    I see the usefulness of Og as another foil.
}         og+     Og can make me smile.
}         og      I have read of Og in a digest.
}         og-     I do not care for Og.
}         og--    I find Og boring.
}         og---   I skip over questions or digests that mention Og.
}         og----  I will flame you if you mention Og.
}
}         !og     I have never heard of Og.
}         og?     Who is Og?
}          OG     I am Og.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   Z: Zotting
}
}       Number of times you have been zotted.
}
}         Z+++    600 and up
}         Z++     500-599
}         Z+      400-499
}         Z       300-399
}         Z-      200-299
}         Z--     100-199
}         Z---    90 and under
}
}         Z?      Zot?
}         !Z      Never been zotted.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   rh: rhodness
}
}        rh---    I don't read rhod.
}        rh--     I once read rhod.
}        rh-      I rarely read rhod.
}        rh       I read some of rhod, but the endless cascades and
}                 whining are too boring to keep up with.
}        rh+      I think rhod is neato.
}        rh++     I think cascades are a form of art.
}        rh+++    If my lame .sig is isn't in it, it ain't a cascade yet.
}
}        !rh      rhod may have been funny once, but I doubt it.
}        rh?      rhod?
}        rh*      I can never keep track of what froup I'm in anyway.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   eq: general etiquette
}
}       eq+++    I send in questions daily and skip answering questions
}              if I have nothing funny to say.
}       eq++     I answer questions if I understand them completely.
}       eq+      I try to answer questions well.
}       eq       I respect the person asking the question.
}       eq-      I answer no matter what, length is very important, as
}              is mentioning Lisa and Zadoc and Bill Gates constantly.
}       eq--     Hey, one line answers are the funniest ones! I always
}              laugh as I type them!
}       eq---    I drain queues for sport.
}
}       !eq      F**K Y*U! I thinking trolling or typing one word over
}              and again and again is funny.
}       eq?      Whatdaya mean there's a human reading on the other end?
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   D: Digested
}
}         Number of times you have been Digested.
}
}         D+++    4 or more
}         D++     3
}         D+      2
}         D       1
}         D-      0
}         D--     I had one removed, once it was found out I stole
}               copy-written material to use as my own.
}
}         D?      Digest?
}         !D      Got nasty note from Priest saying I would never
}               ever be digested.
}         D*      Got in a Best of!!!
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
} You owe the Oracle a time delayed code capsule.


1021-05    (66fyk dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: clemenr@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> o/` one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.  two can be as bad
> as one; it's the loneliest number since the number one, ohhh o/`

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Are you a lonely number?  Do you need a binary operator to get you
} together with another number?  Do you dream of finding your complex
} conjugate?  Now you can, for FREE!  For a limited time, the Matrix
} Hotline is offering a special, FREE, one-time trial!  Call now, this
} offer ends soon!  For a limited time, you can be put in a matrix with
} at least fifteen other numbers, where you will be FREE to add,
} multiply, and just plain conjugate with all the numbers there.  All for
} FREE. Please have a major credit card ready.
}
} Here's what numbers are saying everywhere:
}
} 5 (formerly -5): "It changed my sign!  Now I'm much more positive!"
} pi : "It turned my world round!"
} e : "It felt natural!"
} i : "Before i called the Matrix Hotline, even my friends thought i was
}      imaginary.  But on the Hotline i got together with some REAL
}      numbers, and now my social life is complex!"
} 4 : "I used to be lonely as a perfect square, but on Matrix Hotline met
}      irrational and imaginary numbers, and now I know everyone is a
}      square!  And 6 and 28 showed me what being perfect *really* means!
}      Those guys sure can sum their factors!"
}
} Call now!  This special offer ends soon!  We have infinitely many prime
} numbers waiting to meet you.  All for FREE!  You owe the Oracle your
} Visa/MasterCard/AMEX number!


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