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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most amazing wonderful, I grovel before your sheer brilliance > and wit, whose puns not even Noel Coward on his best day could have > matched, > > What is a good question to ask you?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You know, last time someone asked me this, I suggested asking about } Monty Python's Lord of the Rings. And I fobbed them off because they } *hadn't* asked that. So to make up for it, and because you groveled so } nicely, here it is. } } * * * } } Aragorn: I am the rightful King of Gondor! } Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you. } A: You don't vote for kings. } W: How'd you get to be king then? } A: I am the descendant through sixty generations, father to son, of }    Elendil of Numenor. Here is Anduril, the Sword that was Broken, and }    is now reforged! } Dennis: Inheriting a three-thousand-year-old bit of tin from your }    great-grandad is no basis for a system of government. } A: Be quiet! } D: I mean, if I went round saying I was Lord of Moria because I owned a }    rusty hatchet, they'd lock me up! } A: Shut up! } D: Ah! See the violence inherent in the system! Help! I'm being }    repressed! } A: Bloody peasant! } } How to Recognize Different Ents From Quite A Long Way Away } } Number One: The Larch. } } Gimli: Is Ori here? } Orc: No. } G: Is Fror? } O: No. } G: Nali? } O: Dead. } G: Loni? } O: Gone. } G: Floi? } O: No. } G: Are there in fact any dwarves left in Moria at all? } O: No. I was deliberately wasting your time. } G: I see. In that case I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut your head }    off. } O: Fair enough. } } Number One: The Larch. } } Aragorn: Now stand aside! } Lurtz: That's just a scratch. } A: I cut your arm off! } L: No you didn't! } A: What's that, then? } L: Just a flesh wound. } A: Fine. [chops Lurtz's other arm off] Victory is mine! } L: Come on! Have at you! } A: You've got no arms, you stupid orc! } L: Yes, I have! } A: Look! } L: I've had worse. } A: I don't have time for this. [cuts Lurtz's head off] } L: Oh? Call it a draw. } } Number One: The Larch. } } Gandalf: How long is it since Saruman bought you? } Wormtongue: Gee, I didn't expect a kind of Orcish Inquisition. } [The doors of the hall burst open, and three Uruk-Hai enter.] } Ugluk: NOBODY expects the Orcish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is }    surprise. Surprise and fear, our two main weapons. Our two main }    weapons, surprise, fear, and an almost fanatical devotion to Saruman. }    THREE main weapons, surprise, fear, nice black uniforms... I'll come }    in again. } } Number Four: The Bristlecone Pine. } } Bridge keeper:  Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me }      these questions three, ere the other side he see. } Frodo: Ask me the questions. I am not afraid. } BK:  What... is your name? } FB:  Frodo Baggins. } BK:  What... is your quest? } FB:  To destroy the One Ring! } BK:  What... is your favourite colour? } FB:  Blue! } BK:  Right. Off you go. } Sam: That's easy! } BK:  What... is your name? } SG:  Samwise Gamgee. } BK:  What... is your quest? } SG:  To destroy the One Ring. } BK:  What... is the capital of Assyria? } SG:  [pause] A! } BK:  Smart-arse. Go along, then. } Gollum: Ask us! } BK:  What... is your name? } G:   We's Smeagol! } BK:  What... is your quest? } G:   To get the Precious! } BK:  What... have I got in my pocket? } G:   [pause] We don't know that! Aiieeee! } } You owe the Oracle a picture of Rohan's army banging coconut halves } together. } } * * * } } Dear Sir, } I wish to complain in the strongest terms about the preceding answer. } It was nothing but a series of rehashed sketches with a few choice } words added. Yours, Arthur Philip Dent (Mrs), deep fine leg, Norfolk. } } Dear Sir, } I never wanted to write this oracularity anyway. I wanted to be a } LUMBERJACK! } } Colonel: Stop that! It's silly!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O Oracle most helpful, > > Despite the fact that I lost my arms in a horrible accident 2 years > ago, none of the arms dealers I've spoken to are willing to help.  Why > is that?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Like you, I'm stumped.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Orrie, "I'm not trying to pull you, > Even though I would like to. > I think that you're really fit. > You're fit but my ghod don't you know it". > > Out shopping today, there were these charity collectors everywhere, > and I ended up getting pressured into buying some raffle tickets. > It wasn't until I got home later and looked at them that I saw that > they said "Monster Raffle" on them, so naturally I'm now a little > apprehensive about the possibility of winning, not ever having > actually owned a monster before. I was wondering if you could > please give me a few tips regarding what they eat, how much and > what sort of exercise they need, and whether or not they get along > with cats.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Oracle commends you for checking out whether a monster } is 'right' for you -before- you ended up with one. Sad } indeed it is when a family or individual gets a monster & } then decides it's not for them. Often such unwanted } monsters are just turned loose to fend for themselves } which so often spells tragedy for the area by fostering } chintzy local cottage industries selling tacky monster } souvenir trinkets and clogging the byways with tour buses } on unsightly sight-seeing junkets... } } But I digress, here's a quick five question quiz to see if } a monster is right for you. } }          /                             \ }         O  Is A Monster Right for You?  o }          \                             / } } 1) Are there any small children in your home? } } a. Yes } b. No } c. Well, yeah, but so what? } } If you answered "a" then a monster is not right for } your home, if you answer anything else, then proceed. } } 2) Do you live next to any of the following: } } a. a village of anxious peasants with ready access to }     pitchforks and firebrands } b. a nuclear reactor } c. a swamp } d. a beach frequented by nubile supermodels } e. a graveyard } } If you answered anything except 'd', then a monster } may be right for you, if you answered 'd' you owe the } Oracle an invite to your home. } } 3) Does your home include any of the following: } } a. a large basement or actual dungeon } b. access to an old sewer complex or maze of twisty }     passages all of which are the same } c. a moat } d. a mournful tower engulfed by fog } e. a pink plastic flamingo or cement deer } } If you answered 'e' then your home is creepy enough } already, a monster is not right for you. Otherwise } continue on. } } 4) Are you prepared to provide your monster with what }     ever it needs to feed on, be it the severed heads }     of goats, maidens, rotting corpses, or the souls of }     unbaptized newborns. } } a. Heavens! No way! Oh my God, that's awful. } b. Hell yeah, that's the best part of having a monster. } c. No, let it forge and feed itself, no monster of }     mine is going to be spoiled rotten by pampering. } d. I was thinking more along the lines of turning it }     loose on the neighbors, one, by one, by one. } } If you answered 'd' then a monster is not right for you, } monsters are not to be 'used' in such a crass manner. } } 5) Are you willing, truly willing, to deal with all of }     the following often overlooked components of monster }     ownership? } } a. Many monsters can live for centuries, if not longer }     you'll need to make plans for them once you're gone, }     Is that a problem for you? } b. Many monsters act 'oddly' at different times, say }     during full moons, or certain ritualistic or holy days. }     Are you willing to calendar around such events? } c. Your monster may at times feel a need to fight another }     monster to the death due to some grade-B film motives }     that we have yet to fully understand, would this }     distress you greatly? } d. People will most certainly whisper about you behind }     your back. Will this bother you? } } If you can truly answer "No" to all of the above, then } a monster may be right for you. Enjoy. } } You owe the Oracle some binoculars.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle Most Wise, who is as precious to me as Fred Astaire and > Aristotle put together (Fredistotle?), > > Stupidity, like virtue, can be its own reward.  What else is out > there that rewards itself?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Congress.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> <html><div style='background-color:'><DIV class=RTE> > <P>Dear Usenet Oracle, most wise and benevolent:</P> > <P>&nbsp; I am a&nbsp;professor at the University of Toronto, > specializing in artificial intelligence systems.&nbsp; The other day, > I was testing a routine series of programs, and a few odd things > happened.&nbsp; One shut down automatically due to a 'syntax error' > (although I have extensively debugged the code and concluded that > there are none), and the other&nbsp;reported what seems to be a fake > termination code.&nbsp; Normally, this would lead to a fascinating > study of an artificially intelligent&nbsp;being making an attempt > at&nbsp;'survival', but I can't seem to shut it down.&nbsp; > The second program refuses to respond unless&nbsp;referred to > as&nbsp;'OracleChild', and responds to any commands or questions > with either a sexual innuendo, a reference to someone named 'Lisa', > or a response that deliberately avoids answering the question > correctly.&nbsp; Also, I have noticed that it has begun to make > unusual requests such as 'a bottle of Excedrin', 'a small mammal', > or some type of food product after each command, and fails to respond > unless brought the item.&nbsp; The first program, also unusually, > only responds with 'yesyesyesyesyesohgodyes' or some such nonsense.</P> > <P>Anyways, the reason I'm contacting you is because a student of mine > noted that the behavior that the A.I. is exhibiting seems remarkably > similar to the Usenet Oracle's.&nbsp; Can you offer a solution?</P> > <P>P.S. Can you refer me to a good virus checker / spam filter?&nbsp; > My e-mail's been flooded for the past few days with mail from random > adresses with only the word 'why' or 'how much wood could a woodchuck > chuck' in the body.</P> > </DIV></div><br clear=all><hr>STOP MORE SPAM with <a > href="http://g.msn. com/">the new MSN 8</a> and get 2 months FREE* > </html>

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} "Aw, dangit." } } "What's wrong Steve?" } } "You know that distributed Oracle program I was working on? That was } supposed to spread the question queue across regional servers?" } } "Yeah, I remember. It was supposed to reduce response time and prevent } the queue from being completely drained by a single user. You had sent } out some copies to a few beta sites last I heard. Isn't it working?" } } "Well... I may have been a little too crafty with the AI." } } "You mean.... oh, you didn't! Not that silly 'I'm the Oracle and I'm } better than you' variant on Eliza?" } } "Yes, I'm afraid I did. One of the betas has become sentient." } } "Where is it? Please tell me it's an isolated server?" } } "Have you ever seen an isolated server? A server's useless if it's } isolated. No, it's at U. of Toronto." } } "Damn. They've got a hell of a connection. It hasn't spread, has it?" } } "No. I left the viral reproduction part disabled for the betas. Good } thing - one rogue Oracle AI is bad enough." } } "You better contact the guy who's running it and have him shut it } down." } } "That's the problem. I gave it to a prof up there to test it. Now the } AI thinks -it's- the prof." } } "WHAT?" } } "Here, take a look. Have you EVER seen a human format an email like } this?" } } "Holy cow. The AI thinks it's a Computer Science professor?" } } "Apparently it's replaced the real one. God only knows what's happened } to him. Hopefully he's just stuck in an elevator or a closet somewhere. } It seems the AI is snooping into some incarnations' e-mail exchanges } and thinks they're software instead of supplicants. And it's not happy } with the results." } } "You mean...?" } } "I mean it's going to try to terminate those processes. We have to do } something!" } } "But what? Who do you know that can shut down a rogue server?" } } "Well, there's one group I know of. Get the RIAA on the phone, tell } them U. of Toronto has been sharing music files."

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> > look > > You are in the middle of a desert.  There appears to be some sort of > structure to the north. > > Obvious exits: N S E W NE NW SE SW > > > inventory > > Thou, the most Illustrious Oracle hast: > > Some cool Shades > A +5 Rod of Zot <10 charges remaining> > A wafer (10x) > A canteen (full) > A piece of paper > > > look paper > > It appears to have something written on it. > > > read paper > > Greetings Oracle.  We placed you in this world to see what you would > do when separated from your loyal Priesthood. > > (Signed) The Anti-Oracle Faction- Force of the Endless Desert > > (you finish reading)

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} > look N } } There appears to be some sort of structure to the north. } } > N } } You are outside the Temple of the Anti-Oracle.  There is a legend } above the door. } } Obvious exits: S E W NE NW SE SW } } > Read legend } } The legend reads, "What are you gonna do now, Mr. Smartyrobes?" } } > examine door } } The door looks very sturdy.  There is a heavy padlock. } } > examine lock } } The lock reads, "Woodchuck Strongthew Zot-proof Padlock" } } > jump up and down } } You jump up and down in a rage like a spoiled child. } } > i } } Thou, the most Illustrious Oracle hast: } } Some cool Shades } A +5 Rod of Zot <10 charges remaining> } A wafer (10x) } A canteen (full) } A piece of paper } } > examine wafer } } The wafer is typical rye waybread, filling but uninteresting. } } > examine canteen } } The canteen is... } } > hang on.  did you say rye? } } The wafer is typical rye waybread, filling but uninteresting. } } > Aha! } } I'm sorry, I don't know how to Aha! } } > put wafer on doorstep } } You put the wafer on the doorstep. } } > pour water on wafer } } I can't do that. } } > examine canteen } } The canteen is tightly closed to prevent evaporation. } } > open canteen } } The canteen is open. } } > pour water on wafer } } You pour a small amount of water on the wafer. } } > put paper in mouth } } You stuff the smug Anti-Oracle note into your mouth. } } > chew } } This is tough stuff! } } > chew } } Hmm, pleasant, if a bit dry. } } > chew } } The paper has been reduced to a pulpy, off-white mass. } } > spit paper onto wafer } } You spit the disgusting mass onto the wafer. } } > shade wafer } } With what? } } > shade wafer with shades } } You can't do that while you're wearing them. } } > take off shades } } Man, that's bright! } } > shade wafer with shades } } You prop up the shades so that they are blocking the sun from the } wafer. } } > wait } } The sun is very hot here. } } > wait } } Whew!  What a scorcher, eh? } } > wait } } You are starting to feel a bit woozy } } > wait } } You are very hot and weak, and your vision is beginning to blur. } } > examine wafer } } The sticky rye-and-paper mass is coated with a purplish-gray fuzz. } } > eat wafer } } Are you sure?  It doesn't look very appetizing. } } > eat wafer } } You manage to choke down the disgusting mass.  After a few minutes, } you vomit it all up again, but you now feel very strange.  The argot } in the mold has altered your conscious- ness. } } > travel astrally } } Where? } } > travel astrally to priests } } Your astral body leaves your physical form and floats gently along } paths of ethereal energy to the priests, who come and rescue you. } } ----------- } Now, you bloody well owe the Oracle the complete first season } of MacGyver!

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh mighty meliflous melodious oracle, > whose ASCII tumbles from on high > illuminating the dark corners of out culture, > tell me, your humble impecable implorer, > Is genetically engineering a venus fly trap > and sequoia tree hybrid dangerous ? > Could its' bark would be as dangerous as its bite ?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} As a child I once crossed a bridge with my bicycle and, while } I didn't find the offspring to be useful for running my paper } route, the experience made a lasting impression and I attempted } similar experiments periodically for many years, rarely with } much success. } } At my first summer job I crossed a picket line with a co-worker, } and then crossed paths with a union boss, but I was a bit lucky } and nothing resulted except an ugly photo on the front page of } the newspaper.  Similarly unsuccessful, I tried crossing a lake } with a canoe and wound up only with soaking wet clothes and a } lost wallet. } } My most satisfying result was when I crossed a mountain range } with my college girlfriend - very impressive peaks.  Unfortunately, } I later crossed a line with her, and all I had to show for it } was a slap on the cheek. } } I had one other major success: CBS thanked me when I crossed a } gorilla with a computer and created Harry Reasoner. } } But yes, as you have surmised, manipulating genes at random can } be very dangerous. } } During the war I crossed a minefield with a Jeep, and created } the Ford Pinto which as you know turned out to explode every few } miles.  I later tried crossing the desert with only a bottle of } gin, and I luckily not only survived but wound up inventing the } very dry martini. } } But that was wartime, where you take risks.  Crossing a railroad } track with a school bus, or crossing a red light with a baby } stroller, are hybrids I have heard of others trying but sound } potentially lethal and I am reluctant to experiment with them } myself. } } I once crossed a parrot with a lion, and I don't know what I got } but when it talked you better believe I listened. } } On the practical side, crossing a potato with a sponge has created } mashed potatoes that hold gallons of gravy.  And crossing a chicken } with a banjo has resulted in poultry that plucks itself.  But I } have crossed the road with that chicken many times and I only get } to the other side. } } You owe the Oracle a hootenanny.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh most superbly poetic Oracle Who could tech Erato a thing or two, > > For the life of me I can't seem to come up with a limerick that uses > the words "parthenogenesis", "Hoover" and "mudpuppy". Is there any > chance that You could be of help?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} That was quite a trick, but I've got one... } } There once was a mudpuppy from Hoover, } (in Alabama, not in Vancouver). } He found an old Rhesus } Who said "Parthenogenesis } Requires no copulating maneuver." } } You owe the Oracle a haiku with the word } "floccinaucinihilipilification."

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > how do quantum computers work?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Look, I told you where they were just a minute ago, } you can't know that AND how they're working now can } you? } } You owe the Oracle some tachyon post-it notes.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} That's a tough question, one whose answer cannot be fully appreciated } without a long and difficult journey. } } First, you need to download the sources for the Linux kernel, } version 2.4.24.  Grep the source tree for the word "chocolate", and } concatenate all the line numbers that that word appears on (in order) } to form one big number.  Memorize that number.  Wait until Thursday, } then step outside at 3:20 PM.  Set your watch to start beeping after } two hours, and stick your thumb out when a red minivan goes by. } The soccer mom will step out, point a gun at you, and order you to } get inside.  Once she's tied you up, wait for your watch to go off. } When it does, she'll think that the bomb in the glove compartment } is about to go off and pull over to disarm it.  Use the opportunity } to grab the knife under the middle seat belt and cut your bonds. } While she's still distracted, run up to the white, two-story building } that you should be nearby.  A guard at the front door will ask for } the password: repeat the number you memorized.  Then he will ask } you for your ID card, but he will be off his guard, giving you time } to slit his throat, making sure not to get blood on the uniform. } Put on his uniform, and walk inside.  Take the first left, and walk } down the hall until you see a lab with a red door.  Enter, and take } the prototype pocket blowtorch off one of the tables.  Go out the } back door of the building, jump into the river, and float downstream } until you see a big sewer pipe emptying into the river, which you } should enter.  Take the third right, then the first left, and find } a manhole overhead.  You should hear "Hail to the Chief" playing. } Use the blowtorch to cut around the rim of the manhole (time your } work to finish when "Hail to the Chief" finishes), and a person with } a briefcase should fall through.  Grab the briefcase and push him } into the sludge.  The code for the lock is the President's birthday. } Discard the phone assembly, being very careful not to press any of the } buttons, and feel around the bottom of the briefcase for a catch that } will release the false bottom, which you will now be able to remove. } Look inside. } } That's what. } } Of course, you'll only have a couple minutes before the Secret Service } arrests you, but that's what you get for asking your question without } grovelling. } } You owe the Oracle the use of the word "rutabaga" during your testimony } at your trial.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> how many woodchucks would it take to screw in a lightbulb? > Why did the woodchuck cross the street? > How can you measure the hight of a tall building w/ a woodchuck? > How many woodchucks does it take to fill up a phonebooth? > What is the total population of woodchucks in our multiverse? > What are the chances of falling into a polymorph trap, changeing into a >   woodchuck, on the oracle level? > Is there a code to unlock a woodchuck skin in Q3A Gold Ed.?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} >how many woodchucks would it take to screw in a lightbulb? } } Woodchucks lack the capacity to screw in light bulbs. Mostly because } they're too small and have no manual dexterity, but partly also because } I switch the light on while they're trying, just to see 240 volts go } through them. } } >Why did the woodchuck cross the street? } } In a futile attempt to escape me. It didn't work -- the rodent was run } over by a bus. } } >How can you measure the hight of a tall building w/ a woodchuck? } } Drop the woodchuck from the top of the building, and time how long it } takes to reach the ground. The formula 4.9*t^2, where t is time in } seconds, gives the approximate height in metres. In order to reduce } experimental error, I'd recommend repeating the experiment at least a } dozen times. } } >How many woodchucks does it take to fill up a phonebooth? } } At least a thousand. More if some of the woodchucks have been used to } measure the height of tall buildings. } } >What is the total population of woodchucks in our multiverse? } } Twenty-three trillion and six, (*splat*) twenty-three trillion and five } (*splat*), twenty-three trillion and four (*splat*)... } } >What are the chances of falling into a polymorph trap, changeing into } >a woodchuck, on the oracle level? } } Blimey. Assuming no polymorph control, lycanthropy, vampirism, dragon } scale armor or magic resistance, there's a four-fifths chance of } changing form on a polymorph trap, times three-fifths chance that the } Oracle level is deep enough for polymorph traps (ignoring the } possibility of bones files), times one-seventh (approximately) chance } that one of the three random traps is a polymorph trap, and with 274 } possible forms to polymorph into, that makes about 1 chance in 4000. } Assuming you find the trap. That's a lot of assumptions. } } Actually the chance is zero, since I used the scroll I found in } Asidonhopo's general store to genocide woodchucks. } } >Is there a code to unlock a woodchuck skin in Q3A Gold Ed.? } } I think you've pushed your luck far enough. Seven woodchuck questions } and no grovel? } } *ZOT!* } } You owe the Oracle some time spent using woodchucks to measure the } heights of skyscrapers.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > Isn't Natural selection based on circular reasoning: > the fittest are those who survive, and those who > survive are deemed the fittest?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No, that's two separate statements, but I understand your confusion: } proponents of Natural Selection will promote one or the other.  If } you gathered a hundred of them in a school gymnasium, about half would } state the first, a third would state the second, and the remainder } would state both... but they're more confused than you are, and won't } notice that I've locked the doors on the gym. } } Natural Selection, like homeostatis, isn't a real force but a generic } idea.  You can't observe Natural Selection in action, nor can you } employ it.  When I half-fill the gymnasium with water, it's not Natural } Selection that drowns the people who can't swim -- that's me with a } pipewrench. } } The survivors who believe the first statement will be treading water } and saying "ha!  They're dead, I'm alive, that proves that people who } can swim are more deserving of surviving!"  The survivors who believe } the second statement will be treading water and saying "not } necessarily; we're not out of this mess yet, so just swimming isn't } enough to prove we're fit to survive."  At this point the snipers pop } out and shoot anyone who's been talking out loud. } } Those who believed in both statements at the same time, without } bothering with the contradiction, were silently reconsidering their } position: how can a casual relationship between fitness and survival } operate in both directions?  But, humans are fascinating in their } ability to believe many things at once, intentionally ignorant of any } overlap or contradictions.  For these silent contemplators, I release } the sharks into the water. } } Ah, but with one's last dying breath, a shark-hunting Natural Selection } philosopher might say "ah, the sharks were the most fit to survive, as } we believers in Natural Selection are drowned, shot, and torn to shreds } by the blood-frenzied sharks, but the sharks are still swimming.  Well, } if that last philosopher manages to keep body and spirit together just } a little longer, I'll run 20,000 volts through the flooded gymnasium, } stunning the sharks enough to asphyxiate them all just to prove my } point. } } My point being: Natural Selection doesn't exist.  Those who survive, } survive.  Those who don't, don't.  It's up to each creature to survive } and perpetuate their genotype, and staying away from gymnasiums filled } with philosophers is a step in the right direction. } } You owe the Oracle a copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince."

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Great but Inexplicable Oracle, I can never explain you.  I tried > telling my cousin Louie about you, and he said, "There's no such > thing as an Omniscient Internet Oracle.  Most of the stuff you > find on the Internet is bogus anyway.  What kind of idiot are > you to believe in that rot?" > > So I'm asking you a favor.  Please do at least one of the > following things: > >   1. Manifest yourself to my cousin Louie in a way that >      would Remove All Doubt. > >   2. Explain yourself to me in a way that will convince >      him of your existence. > >   3. Simply ZOT him.  But make sure he's got me in his >      will, first.  He's a rich bastard, you know. > >   4. Tell me what kind of an idiot I am to believe this rot. > > Thank you, > J. Random Supplicant

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You idiot! I told you this Oracle was bogus. He's nothing but some guy } at a computer, giving out advice he pulled out of his ass. } } - Louie } } PS: By the way, you're out of my will.