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} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:54 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-01
}
} Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > The other day I saw a pirate dog, you know with a patch
} > and a wooden leg. My sister said, "Look at that dog with
} > one eye!" So I covered one eye and looked at it, but it
} > didn't really look all that different than when I viewed
} > it with one eye. What gives?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } I see. Next time swagger up to the dog and say in your
} } best John Wayne voice, "Pilgrim, I know who done shot yer
} } Pa."
} }
} } You must see about giving The Ocular a salty dog, hold the
} } the scurvy.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:55 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-02
}
} Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > How does one get black eyed, peas?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Usually by fighting over chick peas.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:56 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-03
}
} Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > How can I catch the eye of that cute guy in Math class?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Practice your fly fishing and hook him in one of his big
} } blue peepers.
} }
} } You must see your way to giving the Ocular a nightcrawler.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:58 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-04
}
} Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Deer InteRNUT Ocular,
} >
} > What doo you say to A man with A glass EYe named JOberinski?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Ask him what his other eye is called.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:59 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-05
}
} Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > I tried getting my husband some glasses, but he's still
} > not seeing things my way. What can I do?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Get an Eye-vorce.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:100 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-07
}
} Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > The sun! It's blinding me! I've been
} > decapitated and I'm face up in a wicker bucket!
} > What can I do?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Squint, while you're a head.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:101 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-08
}
} Selected-By: Tim #1 (aka tim) <tim@tim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > What did the law pupil say to the judge?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Iris my case.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:102 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-09
}
} Selected-By: Tim #2 (aka tim) <timtim@timtim.tim>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > I C U!
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Me too.
} }
} } You must see your way to giving the Ocular a AOL CD.
}
} ------------------------------
}
} Date: Mon, 06 Feb 12 13:43:103 -0500
} From: Internet Ocular
} Subject: Internet Ocular #0001-10
}
} Selected-By: EYE N. Davis (aka end) <end@it.now>
}
} The Internet Ocular has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Can I wear glasses when I play contact sports?
}
} And in response, thus spied the Ocular:
}
} } Why not? People with only one bottom play tennis.
} }
} } Wait, that. Hmm. Sorry, I just got back from NYC.
} } I flew in on the Red Eye and boy are my arms covered
} } with vitreous fluid. Thank you! Thank you! I'll be
} } here all week! Be sure and tip the waitresses!
}
} ===================================================
} end
} ***************************************************
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
