> Dear Oracle, whose IQ,
> if recorded in digital form, would fill a DASD farm,
> if carved in stone, would be too heavy for God to lift,
> if inscribed on parchment, would make sheep extinct,
> if printed in individual atoms, would outweigh a pound of lead,
> if written in rainbows, would outshine the Sun,
> Wise Oracle, so wise
> that Solomon, despairing, cut himself in half,
> that Einstein, comparing, said wisdom was relative,
> that Freud, analyzing, unconsciously cut it off,
> that Marx, synthesizing, disparaged wisdom as bourgeois,
> Ancient Oracle, who once
> taught Alexander to untie knots,
> showed Archimedes how to fill a bathtub,
> helped Pythagoras with his geometry homework,
> Knowing Oracle, who knows exactly
> how many grains of sand comprise the beach this instant,
> what a boojum snark looks like,
> Great Oracle, whose pedal extremeties,
> if they ever deigned to touch the ground,
> would never land in dog stuff,
> This supplicant,
> whose feet stink like frog farts,
> whose ignorance is so undeserving of your knowledge,
> whose inexperience tries the patience of your anciency,
> whose foolishness is so unworthy of your wisdom,
> and whose IQ is but a cipher to your endless stream of digits,
> abases himself in Your presence.
> Were my IQ a drop, Yours would be an Ocean!
> If my wisdom were a pebble, Yours would be the Rockies!
> My flame is but a candle, Yours the eternal Sun!
> All I know worth knowing, is that You know so much more!
> Were I to step into Your shoes, they'd still be all but empty!
> <<<< SPEAK, O SUPPLICANT. >>>>
> Yes, Oracle, I speak!
> And what a proud day it is for me that such Great and Wondrous Ears
> as Yours should hearken to my words;
> for I, a mere unworthy humble mortal, merely having the chance to
> address such a Being of higher dimension is in and of itself an honor,
> leaving aside all the enlightenment that is bound to come from Your
> effulgent Answer.
> Yes, Oracle, I have seen what an Answer can mean,
> how it can change a life and make it ever after better,
> how it can light the way to Truth, and
> <<<< ASK YOUR QUESTION, SUPPLICANT. >>>>
> [My Question. Dare I? No.]
> Yes, Oracle, Great Oracle, Wise Oracle, Potent Oracle,
> Wealthy Oracle, Splendid Oracle,
> <<<< YOU HAVE GROVELED ENOUGH. >>>>
> [I'm not so sure.]
> <<<< WHAT? >>>>
> I mean, O great Oracle, that You deserve much more,
> much more groveling than I can hope
> <<<< ASK THE DAMNED QUESTION!! >>>
> Great Oracle, the Question that I have to ask,
> in hopes it will be kindly met by the Mighty Usenet Oracle,
> not meaning in any way to offend or upset You,
> in the sincerest quest for sorely needed lore,
> <<<< ASK IT *NOW*! OR ELSE. >>>>
> [Gulp. Okay, here goes nothing:]