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} message from oracle@cs.indiana.edu [ Mon Mar 2 20:43:39 ] ...
}
} Thag! You can't do that. Maybe when Og wants to know which side to
} button his mammoth skin on you can do that, but not now. This is
} BIG TROUBLE!
}
} message from zadoc@cs.indiana.edu [ Mon Mar 2 20:43:52 ] ...
}
} Most splendid master, thou whose very discarded toenail clippings
} I am unworthy of polishing, I couldn't help noticing that the alarm
} bells.....
}
} message from oracle@cs.indiana.edu [ Mon Mar 2 20:43:56 ] ...
}
} Zadoc! Forget the shuffling in on your knees, Og's in trouble.
} Plan B immediately. IMMEDIATELY.
}
} message from og@middle.paeolithic.era [ Mon Mar 2 19:74 999,984 BC ]
}
} Og not want bo-ther O-ra-kul. Og say 'but'. Og big trou-ble. Og told
} O-ra-kul di-gest #many Og free ques-tion. Og on-ly, Og not ask.
} Og say 'but'. Ogwa, Oglings too big trou-ble. Og need help now!!!!
} Og gro-vel much good gro-vel la-ter. Og lose big spiky club. Og more
} trou-ble!
} <EOT>
}
} message from zadoc@cs.indiana.edu [ Mon Mar 2 20:43:58 ] ...
}
} Plan B in action Master. All emergency goods transported to Og at
} the specified time and space co-ordinates.
}
} message from oracle@cs.indiana.edu [ Mon Mar 2 20:44:01 ] ...
}
} OK everyone, we can relax now. Phew, that was a close one. Zadoc,
} go bring some beers from the fridge. And may I remind you that your
} previous permission not to grovel or shuffle was temporary only.
} On you knees, worm!
} <EOT>
}
} [Scene: An Archaelogical dig somewhere in southern Spain]
}
} Jacques! We've found a fossilised mud layer in the far end of the
} valley!
}
} Great news Charles! What does it show? Anything interesting?
}
} Dunno yet, I've got the American working on it.
}
} [Jacques and Charles run exitedly to the dig].
}
} Frank, what is it?
}
} Footprints, bits 'n pieces, bones, you name it, it's in this layer.
}
} Charles, what do you think happened?
}
} Well, the way I look at it is this. Look at these prints. Neanderthal
} or I'm a weekend hobbyist. But, look at the size. From small children
} to these sleek, perhaps female feet, and look at these beauties.
} We're talking about one of the biggest male Neanderthals for which
} evidence exists.
}
} Hmmm. Found any pieces that might help us work out what was happening?
}
} Yeah, all these bones. Tons of 'em. Big animals, sabretooth tigers,
} mammoths, mastedons, fair number too. All at the wide end of this
} little end of the valley. But look, all the Neanderthal feet are
} inside this little narrow passage.
}
} They must have been trapped. Any Neanderthal bones among the animals?
}
} Nope. Not a one.
}
} Let's look closer to see if we can work out the chain of events.
}
} Well, I thought of that myself, but look what I found. Weird.
}
} The femur of a mammoth, what's strange about that?
}
} Look what's stuck in it.
}
} Hmmmm. Looks like a harpoon. Maybe it fell in here some time recently.
}
} These bones have been buried since around 100,000 BC. This harpoon
} is stuck fast. Look at this one.
}
} Sabretooth tiger. There're a few holes in it. Strange holes, very
} round. I've never seen holes like that before. What would make holes
} like that?
}
} I've seen holes like that before. In the 'nam.
}
} Vietnam? Did you help with any archaelogical digs in Vietnam?
}
} Nope, I served in the army. We used to shoot dead animals for fun.
} Come back a few months later, big holes in the bones just like that.
} Maybe an AK47.
}
} AK47???
}
} And look at these, in the same layer as the animal bones.
}
} Long thin, repeating tracks. Sort of square. What leaves tracks
} like that?
}
} A herd of stampeding animals? I've never seen tracks like that before.
} Frank?
}
} Seen 'em. Know 'em. Sherman tank, that's what that is. Look how the
} animal bones are crushed where the tank ran over 'em.
}
} I see. So, the pattern we're getting is that there were a family of
} Neanderthals trapped right up this end of the valley by a stampeding
} mob of mammoths, sabretooth tigers, and other large mammals.
} The Neanderthals then threw metal harpoons at the animals ....
}
} This harpoon seems to have been attached to a rocket launcher.
}
} ... fired metal harpoons at the animals. They then opened fire with
} an AK47 .....
}
} Hey, I've just found fragments from a howitzer shell.
}
} ...., a howitzer, and probably other weapons.....
}
} Frank, is this a grenade pin? There are a whole bunch of them pressed
} into the dried mud layer around where the juvenile Neanderthals were.
}
} ..... and then drove out of this end of the valley in a Sherman tank.
} I think that completes the picture.
}
} [silence for about 5 minutes]
}
} Jacques, is it possible to recall all the copies of my latest textbook
} for a quick rewrite?
}
} Sorry, I'm not involved in the details, but I know that all books
} in the academic series have already gone out. Charles, you know that
} article I wrote for your journal, you know, the one where I rubbished
} the Atlantis theorists.
}
} Yes.
}
} Is it too late to recall it?
}
} Maybe, but the internet version is out. People would know.
}
} [silence for another 5 minutes]
}
} You know, I think that if we used all the dynamite all at once,
} we could make this whole valley cave in on itself.
}
} You know, I think you're right. Frank, do you know much about
} explosives?
}
} Leave it to me, everybody get out of the area, this is going to be
} one mother of a big bang....
}
} You owe The Oracle some plans for a full sized copy of The Brooklyn
} Bridge that Og has to build for me, out of flint.
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