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} A long, long time ago
} I can still remember sacrifices
} That were lit on fire
} I put the priestess in a trance
} And I would watch the women dance
} Around the blazing wooden pyre
} But then things became really rotten
} The gods and I were all forgotten
} Temples went to ruin
} No phoenix ever flew in
} I think I let out one quick sob
} When I heard that Zeus got a temp job
} He became just another slob
} The day the worship died
}
} So bye, bye, Miss Grecian Ideal
} Drove the chariot to Sparta, it was missing a wheel
} The gods on Mount Olympus sat on their sandaled heels
} Singing "This'll be the day that I die,
} This'll be the day that I die."
}
} Did you come out of the sea
} And do you want to marry me?
} If your father wants it so
} Now, are you the one with inward eye
} Or the one who cannot tell a lie?
} Forgive me, for I do not know
} Now, I know you cursed his family's name
} 'Cause omniscience is my claim to fame
} The sword went through his heart
} Man, it tore the world apart
} I gave my answers read in goat entrails
} Ambiguity never fails
} But I chewed on my fingernails
} The day the worship died
}
} I started singing
} (repeat chorus)
}
} Now, for centuries, I was all alone
} With no temple to call my own
} But I didn't just sit there and grieve
} As I wandered over all the Earth
} Far from the land that gave me birth
} I met up with a man named Steve
} He said, "Do you know the Internet?"
} I said, "I know it all, so, yeah, you bet."
} He said, "I've got a job for you!"
} I had nothing else to do
} His job offer was firm
} The contract was long-term
} And so I moved up to Bloomington
} I thought I might have lots of fun
} But I knew not what I had done
} The day the worship died
}
} I was singing
} (repeat chorus)
}
} Unix, Windows, see how my e-mail grows
} The priests selecting the best ten of those
} 80 megs and rising fast
} The storage capacity passed
} The admin tried to make it last
} With Steve Kinzler standing there looking aghast
} Now, the scientists and engineers
} Had been alone for years and years
} They kept it all hush-hush
} Oh, but then came the newbie crush
} 'Cause the college kids discovered me
} AOL set its users free
} That was in the fall of '93
} The day the worship died
}
} They started singing
} (repeat chorus)
}
} And the priests were all in one place
} With worried looks upon their face
} With a question asked repeatedly
} They said, "What do you want us all to say?
} This came ten thousand times today."
} I said, "What could that question be?"
} It rhymed and was alliterative
} Forever would this question live
} No zot staff forged in hell
} Could break this question's spell
} And as the papers piled in front of me
} No groveling did I see
} I saw rodents chucking wood with glee
} The day the worship died
}
} They were singing
} (repeat chorus)
}
} I wasn't having too much fun
} I searched for a decent question
} But no good answer could I make
} I walked down to the temple floor
} Where I got good questions years before
} But the priests had no good questions I could take
} And meanwhile, there you were, you know
} Listening to your radio
} The DJ's smoking, that's why
} He played "American Pie"
} And you sent half a verse off to me
} Thinking enigmatically
} I replied with a song parody
} The day the worship died
}
} I was singing
} Bye, bye, Miss Grecian Ideal
} Drove the chariot to Sparta, it was missing a wheel
} The gods on Mount Olympus sat on their sandaled heels
} Singing "This'll be the day that I die,
} This'll be the day that I die."
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