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} Hi Og, 'O-ra-kul' here. I have some good news and some bad news.
}
} > Og big strong hun-ter. Og can take much bad new. Og ask bad new first.
}
} The bad news is, after examining the patent of your ancestor, Ogge, it
} appears that the only use he suggested for rocks was smashing open the
} skulls of his enemies, and inserting rocks in the cavity formed. Sorry
} Og, but Ogge's patent says nothing about roads, rock gardens, skipping
} flat rocks on the surface of lakes, or photos of Mars. Nothing at all.
} Your chances of collecting royalties for all the gravel roads in the
} world is none, nilch, zilch, zero.
}
} > Og much sad, Og think Og get much mo-ney. Og say 'hey!'. Og ask, Ogge
} > not have good pa-tent, how Ogge get mo-ney e-ver-y time rock use, no
} > mat-ter how use?
}
} Looking through the patents filed, I've discovered that Ogge also filed
} patents on "bait and switch", "palming rocks to the bottom of the deck",
} "skimming profits", "inventing non-existent dependents to claim a bigger
} proportion of the kill", and a host of other shady practices. It does
} seem that, even for a barrel-chested Homo Neanderthalis, Ogge was a bit
} of a 'wide boy'. Did any of the people (or proto-people) who paid the
} royalities ask to see the wording of the patent?
}
} > Og say, no. Og time, write not in-vent yet.
}
} See. How about the good news then?
}
} > Og say yes. Og hope O-ra-kul tell good new.
}
} Fortunately Ogge *does* have the patent on "Rocks in the Head".
} My research has now turned up a huge list of people blatantly in
} breach of Ogge's patent because they all, undeniably, have "rocks in
} their heads". Here's a list of people to start bothering for royalties
} immediately (fortunately many of them are also exceedingly rich).
}
} 1. Bill Clinton
} 2. Michael Jackson
} 3. The Spice Girls
} 4. The Japanese Finance Minister
} 5. Bill Gates
} 6. Oprah Winfry
} 7. That guy who turned down The Beatles because 'Guitar groups are on
} the way out'.
} 8. Charles Windsor and in fact the entire British upper class.
} 9. .....
}
} [Continue with a list of the usual suspects]
}
} You owe The Oracle the full rights for the patent to "bait and switch".
} My answers frequently make use of that one.
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