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} Hey, supplicant! Watch me pull a crappy answer out of my brain!
}
} I have, as it says above, considered your question deeply. I have
} considered it to be deeply silly, and unworthy of a serious answer.
} However, as is the tradition, I shall endeavour to give an imaginative
} reply, even though the seed you have provided may yet turn out to be
} sterile, the egg boiled, the field barren, the goose, as they say,
} already force-fed and prepared to be sliced open for foie gras. But
} what the hell.
}
} In pondering this question, I consulted with the deepest minds on the
} planet (well, I read a 'Kafka for Beginners' book so I can at least
} look pseudo-intelligent. In fact, I really recommend that you look
} into this series of books yourself, so as to improve the quality of
} your questions (and hence my answers) in future (if you're a Lisp
} programmer you might want to watch out for this next section because
} there are some pretty heavy bracket balancing bits coming up in a
} little while (Lisp, if you are not a Lisp programmer (and who is? (and
} who would want to be?)) is a programming language that involves
} processing lists, which essentially means lots of comma-separated words
} surrounded by brackets (so it says here in 'The Pseudo-Intellectual's
} Guide to Programming Languages' (subtitled 'How to look smart at your
} horribly middle-class dinner parties now that being a geek has finally
} (finally!) become fashionable') which I got for 14.95 from
} http://www.amazing-books.com, a bargain that even you (with your highly
} sepcialised job on the helpdesk at AOL (your title, if I am not
} mistaken, is "CAPS-LOCK EXPERT" to provide assistance to the thousands
} who still insist on shouting)) should be able to afford) which means
} that Lisp programs can be extremely difficult to debug (and therefore
} fun (for those who like that sort of thing (and I don't))))) and
} therefore make things a lot more pleasant for all concerned. Enough of
} this crap, on with the answer.
}
} As I implied above, the answer is 100% prime, char-grilled,
} flavour-enhanced, chocolate-coated, sugar-fluffed, prepared by dwarfs,
} gland-extracted, transmutated, bounced around the court, down for the
} up stroke, ladies and gentlemen BRAIN OUTPUT that doesn't come at all
} cheap, especially when you're as hungover as I am. To assist in your
} understanding of the incredible intellectual breadth that this answer
} covers I have translated it into several different languages (both
} human, non-human, humane and inhumane) below.
}
} Chinese:
} Xien-zai gei wo ni de lu tou ('lu tou' in this instance meaning
} 'nipples').
}
} Japanese:
} Anata-no zou ga suge kakkoii! ('zou' in this case meaning 'elephant').
}
} French:
} MangM-i la cacahuete de ma merde. ('cacahuete' in this case meaning
} 'peanut').
}
} Java:
} import java.util.*;
} class Answer {
} public static void main(String args[]) {
} StringBuffer s = new StringBuffer();
} for (int i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
} if (i = (int)Math.PI) s.append(i, 'e');
} if (i = 1 - 1 + 1 - 1 + 1) s.append(i, 'r');
} if (i = 0) s.append('a');
} if (i = 4 - 2) s.append('s');
} }
} s.append('!');
} System.out.println(s);
} }
}
} ('public static void main(String args[])' in this case meaning 'void
} main(char** argc, int argv)').
}
} Befunge:
} 1^^^^43JHHJH
} QJ|--->>^>^>>>
} >^^--^vvabbba>
} ('>^^--^vvabbba>' in this case meaning '44983448348' in Befunge-98).
}
} Etruscan:
} No, I'm kidding, I don't really know Etruscan.
}
} German:
} Mit beiden handen ziehen! ('beiden' in this case meaning 'both').
}
} So I hope this clears things up for you, supplicant, and reminds you
} that the point of the Oracle is not to ask and receive the answers to
} meaningless questions that keep bored computer science students awake
} at night when they should be thinking of the Quine-McCluskey algorithm
} or Godel's theorem, but to further the knowledge that humankind has
} about their universe so that in the great future that opens up before
} us a new dawn can break and freedom can rain down from the heavens
} above and in the brotherhood that we all share as humans and space
} travellers we can forge new links and conquer new markets going
} forward.
}
} Something like that.
}
} You owe the Oracle a new brain.
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