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} GAAAAACK! It's another one of those fscking B*ll Cl*nt*n questions!
} That's it, from now on I'm just going to have my lawyer answer these...
}
} Whereas the party of the first part ("The Supplicant") does hereby
} and forthwith agree to refrain from sending the party of the second
} part ("The Internet Oracle") any query, communication, or electronic
} transfer defined as follows:
}
} a) Any query, communication, or electronic transfer making
} any reference to the capabilities, deeds, and/or actions
} of any members of the genus Marmota, including, but not
} limited to, those capabilities, deeds, and actions involving
} or related to the hypothetical movement, ingestion, and/or
} regurgitation of any carcass of any organism consisting of
} more the sixty (60) percent cellulose.
}
} b) Any query, communication, or electronic transfer failing
} to include at least four (3), but not more than ten (10)
} superlatives used to directly characterize, delineate, and
} explicate the party of the second part ("The Internet
} Oracle").
}
} c) Any query, communication, or electronic transfer making any
} reference to any moving hands, feet, or other appendages,
} particularly when the hands, feet, or other appendages are
} in one half (1/2) of their maximum capacity for stimulation
} of aural sensations.
}
} d) Any query, communication, or electronic transfer
} consisting entirely of whitespace, were whitespace is
} hereinafter considered to include the carriage return,
} space, horizontal tab, vertical tab, and any other
} characters included at the discretion of the party of the
} second part ("The Internet Oracle").
}
} e) Any query, communication, or electronic transfer containing
} any description of, or reference to, the genitals, lips,
} anus, or breasts of the party of the third part ("Lisa")
} or implying, directly or indirectly, that the party of the
} first part ("The Supplicant") is ideating and/or
} visualizing contact with the genitals, lips, anus, or
} breasts of the party of the third part ("Lisa").
}
} f) Any query, communication, or electronic transfer making
} any reference to any presidents, rulers, or government
} officials involved in any iniquitous or opprobrious
} activities, including, but not limited to, iniquitous
} or opprobrious activities involving any female person
} between the ages of 20 and 25 having once resided in the
} Los Angeles, California region.
}
} g) Any other queries, communications or electronic transfers
} to be included at the discretion of the party of the
} second part ("The Internet Oracle").
}
} If the party of the first part ("The Supplicant") fails to comply
} (Compliance shall be defined at the discretion of the party of the
} second part ("The Internet Oracle")) with any of the regulations
} defined herein, one or more of the following actions shall be taken:
}
} a) The party of second part ("The Internet Oracle") shall
} apply a minimum of ten thousand (10,000) volts and a
} maximum of sixty thousand (60,000) volts to portion of the
} person of the party of the first part ("The Supplicant")
} deemed appropriate by the party of the second part ("The
} Internet Oracle").
}
} b) The pneuma of the party of the first part ("The
} Supplicant") shall spend a minimum of one (1) aeon, and a
} maximum one (1) eternity submerged in a mass of liquid
} sulphurous compounds to be defined at the discretion of the
} party of the fourth part ("Microsoft").
}
} c) The pneuma of the party of the first part ("The
} Supplicant") shall be incorporated in the soma of a
} member of the phylum Annelida, Mollusca, or Parazoa,
} according widely accepted taxonomic classifications.
}
} BY READING THIS SELF-SAME DOCUMENT, THE PARTY OF THE FIRST PART ("The
} Supplicant") DOES HEREBY AGREE TO ALL PROVISIONS SPECIFIED HEREIN,
} AND AGREES THAT ALL PROVISIONS SHALL APPLY RETROACTIVELY TO TO ALL
} INFRACTIONS CONTAINED IN ALL QUERIES, COMMUNICATIONS, AND ELECTRONIC
} TRANSFERS RESULTING FROM ACTIONS CAUSED, DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY,
} BY ANYONE RELATED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER TO THE PARTY OF THE FIRST
} PART ("The Supplicant").
} ------------------------------------------------------------------------
}
} Oh alright, if you *insist* on an English translation:
}
} /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\<<<<ZOT!!!>>>>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
}
} You owe the Oracle the definition of the word "is."
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
