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} Sit child, and I shall give you a parable.
}
} There once was a child, let's call him the Supplicant, who went to see
} a great wise man, let's call him the Oracle. The supplicant spoke to
} the Oracle, "Oh most wise and really nifty Oracle, please tell me, what
} if?"
}
} The Oracle did reply, "What if, what?"
}
} The Supplicant did retort with, "No, just 'What if?'"
}
} The Oracle did grow thoughtful, scratched his long beard, and said unto
} the Supplicant, "That is a very difficult question. You must live and
} work for me for ten years, before I can answer it."
}
} The Supplicant was determined to get an answer, so he did agree to the
} terms set out by the Oracle.
}
} The Supplicant did labor for the Oracle for ten years. He cleaned out
} the stables; he mended the knees of the priests' pants, for they did
} wear out quite quickly; he did polish the grand staircase with an old
} toothbrush; and he did kill a hydra (no, not the mythical monster, but
} rather the microscopic animal which lives in ponds.)
}
} One the last day of his servitude, he did come to the Oracle and said,
} "Oh wise and nifty Oracle, I have labored for you for ten years, in
} return you did promise me an answer to my question, 'What if?' What is
} the answer?"
}
} The Oracle did respond, "Oh, yes, I suppose I did. Well, you answer
} is... er... Everything would be different."
}
} The Supplicant did grow angry and cried, "You bastard, you don't really
} have an answer, do you? You just wanted free labor!"
}
} The Oracle did, at that moment, snap his fingers, and the High Priest
} of the Oracle, let's call him Zadoc, did sneak up behind the Supplicant
} and hit him on the head with an iron bar. The Supplicant then fell
} down and was dragged away, never to be seen again.
}
} Thus endeth the parable. What have you learned, child?
}
} > That you don't really know the answer, and if I continue to pester
} > you, you will have Zadoc hit me with a piece of rebar, causing severe
} > brain damage, which would automatically qualify me for priesthood?
}
} Very good, child.
}
} > May I go home now? I'm scared.
}
} Good bye, my child. You do not owe me anything, today.
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