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} Presenting the Internet Oracle's
}
} TOP 101 ORACULAR RESPONSES!
}
} 1. Og here. Og answer question. Og smart.
} 2. B1FF H3R3. 0R4|<|_E R00|_Z D00D! Y00 2UC|< !!!!!1!!!11!!1!
} 3. No, I _never_ get answers mixed up and reply to the wrong question.
} 4. Read the FAQ.
} 5. Nafjre va EBG-13.
} 6. There is no answer 6.
} 7. Complain about the evil $FREEMAIL queue-drainer.
} 8. Oops, that was from the Top 101 Supplications.
} 9. Answers in verse form are always received well.
} 10. Lame joke that crosses the Bill Gates with Hell.
} 11. Supplicant, supplicant, why must you whine?
} 12. Reread those four lines again; you'll get 9.
} 13. Introduce yet another priest.
} 14. Accidentally introduce another priest by misspelling 'Zadoc'.
} 15. Kill off one or more of said priests.
} 16. Good Oracle | 17. Evil Oracle
} 18. Answer everything | 19. Zot for no grovel
} 20. Good funny list | 21. Cheat by doubling-up items
} 22. Translate some random junk through the Babelfish and back.
} 23. It was yet another boring day at the office.
} 24. The scene: an Oracle, P.I. spoof.
} 25. The stranger walked into my office and handed me a telegram.
} 26. I realized it was Zadoc and sent him back to floor-scrubbing.
} 27. The Internet Oracle has no questions to ask.
} 28. Another form of
} 29. Verse is the traditional
} 30. Japanese haiku.
} 31. Include lots of tuna. Your cats will love it!
} 32. LOOK
} 33. You are in an Infocom text adventure parody.
} 34. You are carrying:
} 35. A bottle of soy sauce left over from the early days
} 36. A cursed Staff of Zot -2
} 37. Washington DC is to the south.
} 38. SOUTH
} 39. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
} 40. The Unix terminals are to the east.
} 41. EAST
} 42. bash-2.03$ zot -9 supplicant
} 43. bash-2.03$ finger lisa
} 44. The Oracle appears and rips off your finger as it approaches Lisa.
} 45. You have died.
} 46. Your score: 3 points out of a possible 00.
} 47. Whoops, little P2K problem there...
} 48. Top 10 lists.
} 49. Top 101 lists.
} 50. Attempt a 101-list, but get bored and fizzle out in the middle.
} 51. Good thing this isn't one of those.
} 52. Who said it isn't?
} 53. Yeah! Sure looks like it to me...
} 54. Cap'n, she canna take another Star Trek parody!
} 55. Intentionally misinterpret the supplicant's question.
} 56. No, What's on second and wasn't part of Default's reply.
} 57. Presenting the Internet Oracle's TOP 101 ORACULAR RESPONSES!
} 1. Og here. Og answer question. Og smart.
} 2. B1FF H3R3. 0R4|<|_E R00|_Z D00D!
} [...]
} 58. STACK OVERFLOW
} 59. Oraculation fault; core dumped
} 60. Make an jn-joke reference to a certajn newsfroup.
} 61. Oracle to Zadoc: Pass it down the hierarchy in a game of 'telephone'
} 62. Zadoc: Hey Lisa, what's up with the master's higher telephone?
} 63. Lisa to secretary: Orrie's phone broke. Could you order one?
} 64. Secretary to janitor: The boss needs a bone. I dunno why...
} 65. **ZZZZZZOOOOOOOTTTTTT**
} 66. Zot the AOL incarnation who supplied the previous answer.
} 67. Zot the supplicant complaining about all the zotting.
} 68. The surrealism in the pond utters an azure cry.
} 69. huh huh hehehehe yeah yeah he said 'sixty-nine'! heh heh
} 70. Ever since I was a young god, I've played to rewrite songs.
} 71. From Pink Floyd down to rappin', I never get 'em wrong.
} 72. But I ain't seen nothing like it, in no one knows how long;
} 73. That deaf, stoned, and high band, sure got a big mean bong.
} 74. Lots of custard (see 900-10.) Your cats will love it!
} 75. NEW YORK (AP) -- The Oracle issued a news release today.
} 76. Game show style! Here's your host, Internet Orrrrracle!
} 77. Lots of whipping and bondage. Your priests will love it!
} 78. This answer intentionally left blank.
} 79. Alliteration always amuses all attendees.
} 80. This answer unintentionally left blank. Lousy incompetent priests..
} 81. Pine for the good old days, when men were men and Digests were funny
} 82. Lynx for the good old days, too.
} 83. Use lots of cheap puns. I like the Bic blue erasable puns myself.
} 84. Alright, alright, I'll stop the pun-ishment before I get pun-ched.
} 85. Mu.
} 86. void answer_in_geek_style() {
} 87. if ((strlen(grovel) < 30) || iswoodchuck(question))
} 88. zot(supplicant);
} 89. else {
} 90. write_funny_answer();
} 91. if (rand(10) = 1) digest(answer); } }
} 5C. True geeks would've numbered in hexadecimal.
} 135. But only weirdos use octal.
} 94. Yoda, in the style of, answer, hmmm?
} 95. This is the answer that never ends...
} 96. Yes, it goes on and on my friend...
} 97. *thwack* It's gonna end in a matter of moments.
} 98. Zounds! It's the Puzzler! "Default reply?" Hmm... I got it!
} 99. "Deaf All Records", on Ply St.! To the Oraclemobile, Zadoc!
} 100. Holy three-digits, Oracle! You did it!
} 101. You owe the Oracle a cure for the carpal tunnel I got writing this.
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