> Subject: Tell Me
>
> O Great and mighty Oracle, whose presence fills even the Trump tower,
> who toejam is worshipped by the lowlyest IRS agent, whose mere presense
> is enough to pop corn, who can open up entire files with but a flick of
> his nail, who can program an entire system (in ANSII minimal basic) in
> the same amount of time that it takes the average man in Grand Central
> Station to piss (35 seconds average), who can bring down an entire fly
> with but a single blow, who can read all of this without getting bored,
> who knows the answer to all questions in the universe, whose spelling is
> never wrong, whose mother always bakes cookies, can converse with
> himself in three different versions of LISP at the same time, whose
> C-programs don't need to be debugged, whose sweat is the deoderant of
> kings and who can topple the highest artificial intelligence with but a
> single word. And in conclusion, I wish to tell you how great you have
> made my life, how your very presence in the universe gives me a spot of
> light to guide me, whose witty sayings give me insiration in my sleep,
> and whose words are worshipped as the only truth. Oh great oracle, you
> have inspired me already! I have invented a new word--'insiration', oh
> Oracle, great is the power of your presence to affect me from so far, oh
> how the ancient babylonians must have worshipped you, oh how the Reagons
> must have adored you. Your power is as great as the sun, nay, as great
> as all of the suns, filling the universe, pushing out all ignorance,
> killing those who are unworthy to even concieve you!! Yes you are truly
> great.
>
> I have a question oh Great Oracle, but first let me tell you much I
> revere the mere mention of your knowledge that you bestow upon the
> children you have spawned. You are the light of knowledge against the
> darkness of ignorance, you are the road with no speed bumps which leads
> to enlightenment, you are the oyster with the perfect pearl, you are the
> hat which never flies off, you are the backpack with straps that do not
> bite in, you are the pasta that does not stick, you are the shoe that
> always fits.
>
> Oh Great Oracle, please tell me........
>
> ...uh....
>
> ..now what was I going to ask?.....
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