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} Well, there are so many ways to go that there isn't enough room to
} cover them all, but I'll do my best.
}
} 1) Death by electrocution is probably NOT a way to go. It usually takes
} three or four tries, and somewhere inbetween your eyes explode. I don't
} know about you, but I think I'd prefer to be dead BEFORE my eyes pop
} out.
}
} 2) Firing squad. This one can go a couple of ways: First, if one of the
} shooters taps you in the head, that would be a good way to go. Bullets
} travel faster than sound, so you wouldn't even have time to hear the
} guns go off. But, on the other hand, if they all aim for your body
} mass, you may actually get to witness yourself bleeding to death. For
} your final request here, you should definitely ask for a shot to the
} brain stem.
}
} 3) Lethal injection. Probably the most peaceful, tranquil, and humane
} way to die. You'll think you're going off to some blissful dream world.
} It's a pussy's way out, you coward!
}
} 4) Hanging. This is a lot like the firing squad choice: If they do it
} right, your neck, severing the spinal cord at the base of the brain.
} You'll die instantly. If they screw up, however, you will dangle from
} the end of a rope, your head supporting your entire weight for the next
} several minutes as the air is choked out of you. The pressure on your
} optic nerve will cause you to go blind (who cares, you're gonna be dead
} anyway, right) and every nerve ending in your entire body will be
} pulsing with a pain like a thousand railroad spikes are being nailed
} into you.
}
} 5) Pulled apart by wild horses. God! That would be SO cool to watch!
}
} 6) Guillotine. Fast, little mess, but the anticipation is probably
} nerve wracking. And you can forget an open casket funeral. However, if
} you're into romantic ways to die, this probably takes the cake.
}
} 7) Gas chamber. This is a slow and agonizing way to die. Imagine
} sticking your head in an ore smelter and trying to breathe. This is the
} way that all child-molesters and rapists should die - after being
} castrated with the lid of a tuna can.
}
} 8) Self-inflicted death. At least this method allows you to set the
} pace of your departure. Again, a gun is a good choice here. It's messy,
} yes, but you won't even hear the shot go off. Sleeping pills are
} another wuss way out, and you might vomit them up before they've done
} their deed. Hanging - again, do it right or you may wind up choking to
} death.
}
} 9) Submersion chamber. This is a rather nasty contraption. You are
} strapped into an airtight chamber that ever-so-slowly fills with water.
} Here is another example where anticipation of death is almost worse
} than death itself. However, drowning is quite possibly the worst way to
} die. You are unharmed in any way, and you can breathe, but you have to
} breathe water. Your lung sacks fill with water, which you would
} normally be able to expel once your back in the atmosphere. However,
} since you are strapped into the tank, you can't expel the water, and
} your lungs fill up even more, bursting your lung sacks by the thousands
} until your lungs just stop working. If you haven't passes out, you will
} now feel like a cement truck is parked on your chest. Again, pressure
} on your optic nerve will cause blindness, and nerve endings all over
} your body will be firing like crazy. In your body's desperation to get
} air, water will get sucked through your nostrils, your ears, and your
} tear ducts - in the wrong direction. Once the water has equalized
} itself in your body, you will hear nothing, see nothing, and probably
} only taste and feel the gentle water that is killing you.
}
} 10) Death by Chocolate. My preferred method of dying. A
} chocolate-chocolate chip cookie crust, topped with chocolate ice cream,
} covered with chocolate fudge, and topped off with a chocolate graham
} cracker cookie. If I were you, I'd go out like this.
}
} You owe the Oracle some whip cream and a drool cup.
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