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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle most spiffy, whose breath puts me to shame, > Where has the #madlib IRC channel gone?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} ----------------------------------------------- part first --------- } } 1) adjective } 2) verb } 3) verb } 4) exclamation } 5) adjective } 6) adjective } 7) noun } 8) plural noun } 9) adjective } 10) noun } 11) body part } 12) Famous Person's name } 13) adjective } 14) adjective } 15) adjective } 16) number } 17) plural noun } 18) animal } 19) male celebrity } 20) female celebrity } 21) name of local eatery } 22) body part } 23) body part } 24) common name } 25) occupation } 26) recreational drug } 27) color } 28) politician } 29) adjective } 30) adjective } 31) noun } 32) animal } 33) verb } 34) body part plural } 35) exclamation } 36) adjective } 37) food } 38) bad word } 39) verb } 40) noun } 41) adjective } 42) a number } 43) object of great value } } --------------------------------------------------- part second ---- } } One 1__________ day the Oracle was just starting to 2_________ his way } through the queue when he thought he heard Lisa 3________. } } "4__________", said the 5_________ Oracle, "that was 6_______!" } } Just the Zadoc burst into the room carrying a 7________ and a pair } of matched 8________. Behind Zadoc was Og, who was dragging a } 9_________ 10_________ by its 11___________. } } "I thought I told you two to take those to 12________! " roared } the 13______ Oracle. } } "14________ Oracle, who is more 15________ than 16________ } 17_________, "said Zadoc in a voice much like that of a 18________, } if they could but talk. "We tried, but we met 19__________ and } 20________________ at 21_________ on the way there.  They seemed } to be on a first date or something, since his 22____________ was } on her 23_______________! We became embarrassed and came back here!" } } "For the love of 24________! " bellowed the Oracle. " You two are } as dumb as a 25__________ on 26___________!" } } Then the emergency 27________ line phone rang! It was 28__________ } asking for the Oracle's help! This was his question: } } Oracle most 29__________ and 30_________, } } How much 31__________ could a 32_____________ 33___________ } if had no 34___________? } } "35__________!" yelled the increasingly 36_______ Oracle, "That } takes the 37_________! 38____! I'll be 39_________ with a 40_______ } if I have to answer that 41_________ question one more time. } Besides everyone knows the answer is 42________!" } } ----------------------------------------------- part third ------- } You owe the Oracle a 43 ___________________.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > Why did the boss ask everyone to leave early?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Your boss is a considerate and fair person. The decision to leave } early was made in order to reduce stress and foster a more harmonious } working environment. Besides, didn't you find that the fire alarms } were beginning to hurt your ears?

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, least lawyer like of the Deities, > > What will be the trial of the -next- century?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} In the year 2074, Cisco-AT&T-NewYorkYankees-QuakerOats-Nike (party } #1)conglomerate will bring suite against the } USGovernment-Microsoft-ChurchOfLaterDaySaints-GreenPeace (party #2) } over an argument of free speech in USDA (under-skin digital assistants } - not the food body - which no longer exists anyway). } } The controversy will arise due to the redirection of default } advertising in these USDA's by their makers, party #1.  Party #2 will } claim the right to free speech when they tap into this advertising } network to support their own advertisements.  You may think of this } case as the ultimate extension between AOL and Microsoft's recent ICQ } fun.  AOL by the way, will be bought out by their users, much like a } well known airline today, and renamed B1FF. } } You owe the Oracle one crystal ball.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Dear Santa: > Have I been naughty or nice? > > Your Humble Supplicant, > Georgie

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} "ZADOC!" } } "Yes your refulgence?" } } "What the devil is a letter to Nicky doing in my mail - you know how } frantic he gets this time of year, wanting to make sure he doesn't } miss anybody!" } } "I am most ablatively sorry, most wise one, I will tke care of it } immediately." } } The Oracle, grumbles and goes back to his work. } } Zadoc, cringes off to his little cubby, where a battered Wyse terminal } provides his net access.He logs in, and readdresses the e-mail with } the follwing note: } } Dear St. Nick: } } We got this letter for you by mistake.  I took the liberty of doing a } bit of research on the subject for you, and I have attached my notes. } I think you will find them illuminating, especially when the attached } wish list includes such items as "Moral Fibre", "A Vision for America", } "A Spine", and "The electoral votes of California, Texas, and Florida" } Perhaps the supplicant will happy with some nice Pokemon toys. } } Grovelingly Yours, Zadoc

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle Most Wise, > > How do moccasins differ from slippers?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Slippers are generally not venomous. } } You owe the Oracle an illustrated guide to pit vipers of North America.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Oracle Most Dignified, you who has a mortar board and tassels from > every .edu site that has ever existed; > >  What kind of colleges will they have on Mars?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} There are several there already, in fact.  Perhaps these excerpts from } the current Ares University course catalog will suffice: } } POL2005 -- Political Sciences }       An analysis of the history and theory of planetary subjugation. } } LAN3001 -- Earth Languages }       How to demand surrender in all Earth languages. } } MIL1012 -- Military Technology }       Particular emphasis is given in this course to the development of } stardrive technology and death rays. } } NUT1003 -- Nutrition Science }       Required text is "To Serve Man". } } You owe the Oracle the year's supply of freeze-dried food you've } hoarded for Y2K.  You won't be needing it after all.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> My office neighbour sent in a question, and so did I. > > Her question came to me for answering!! What are the chances of that > happening?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Is that you? This is getting really freaky. Maybe we're the only two } people writing to the Oracle right now.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Wondrous Oracle, > > Why is it that the more you know about computers, the less reliable > yours becomes? > > Your servant.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Returned mail: Host unknown (Name server: cs.indiana.edu: host not } found) } }    ----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors ----- } <oracle@cs.indiana.edu> } }    ----- Transcript of session follows ----- } 550 <oracle@cs.indiana.edu>... Host unknown (Name server: } cs.indiana.edu: host not found)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> When will I meet the girl of my dreams?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} *sigh* I'm not a fortune teller, you know. Yeah, sometimes I dabble } around in the stuff, but usually only for friends and the like. } I mean, for Pete's Sake, you didn't even offer a proper grovel... } } But, it just so happens that I need to work some rust out of my } fortune telling routine, so I'll give you a private showing. } } <The Oracle does magical type things> } } Good news chap! Well, and some bad... The good news is that you DO } meet the woman of your dreams, and what a whopper! She won $400 in } the lottery when she was 18. Through wise investments, she managed } to grow that $400 into $400,000,000 with no other outside capital to } speak of. On top of that she's lovely, striking, and would make Helen } of Troy jealous. With all that hard earned dough (which she earned } by the age of 24), she persued a career in what she really loves... } funeral home management. } } The bad news is when you meet her... at your funeral. } } Too bad, chap... } } You owe the Oracle more to work with.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> ... --- ... > ... --- ... > ... --- ... > ... --- ... > ... --

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Finally! } } I thought those idiots over on the Titanic were -never- going to } shut up. } } You owe the Oracle some dry ice.