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1132, 1132-01, 1132-02, 1132-03, 1132-04, 1132-05, 1132-06, 1132-07, 1132-08, 1132-09, 1132-10

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Great Oracle who knows it ain't easy, who knows how hard it can > be, who successfully survived all nine revolutions, who was probably > really the one in the walrus suit all along, on this day, December 8, > the anniversary of John Lennon's assassination, I can't help but > wonder -- why did John Lennon, of all people, get assassinated? > I mean, why couldn't somebody assassinate Madonna instead?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}      Because double lives take half as long. } }      You owe the Oracle a copy of Bartlett's Complete Quotations and } Cliches.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Eh-oh, Owwie!  Owwie is vewwy vewwy big!  Ask Owwie again again!  If de > Pokemon fight Tewwetubbies, wha' happen?  Bye bye!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Internet Oracle stands on a high balcony of his Temple, as a Winter } storm rolls across the Indiana plains.  His hair streaming in the wind, } he stares out across America, his eyes focussed inwards, not seeing the } fury of the advancing storm. } } He sees the vast wasteland of popular culture: the plastic sitcoms } featuring plastic actors mouthing plastic jokes; the incestuous } entertainment talk shows which feature the same guests pushing the same } movies; the talk shows which derive entertainment from incest with } woodchucks; the ultra-slick news shows with their teflon anchors to } which any news or information completely fails to stick. } } He sees a culture, vast and bloated, devouring anything and everything } that it can lay its greasy fingers on, from badly lip-synched Japanese } cartoons to preverbal British childrens' shows; from Uzbekistani art } films to Andean flute music; from traditional American Indian artworks, } to East Indian spiritualism.  All masticated, swallowed and digested to } produce a bland pap to feed the millions of minds suckling on the } monster's multitude of teats. } } He sees vast tracts of houses, all alike, all populated by people who } consider the label "executive" to be a higher honour than "teacher" or } "artist"; who want their Ford Expeditions, their DVD players and their } MTV because their neighbours have Expeditions, DVDs and MTV; who have } no idea who their Congressional representatives are and haven't voted } in the last 7 mayoral races; whose Congressional representatives don't } care because they are in the pockets of the executives.  People who } watch the latest plastic sitcom because everyone else is watching the } plastic sitcom. } } He sees, down the road from these vast tracts of houses, people } starving on the street; families who don't know where next month's rent } is coming from, but who are thankful because poverty here is infinitely } better than the poverty they came from in countries ruled by strongmen } in uniforms with lots of jingly medals who happen to be in the pockets } of the Congressional representatives and executives; families who, } nevertheless, aspire to own an Expedition and a DVD and have their MTV. } People who dream of being like the people who drive past their houses } on the freeway, the people who could lend a hand, but don't. } } High above the Indiana plains, the Oracle sighs. } } He knows that there is a simple way to prevent this madness. } } He is omniscient.  He knows what it is.  All that he needs is someone } to ask the question, and he can lay it out in startling clarity. } } He has been waiting for many, many years for that question. } } Averting his eyes from the windswept fields of corn, he glances at the } top of the vast stack of questions he has yet to answer: } } > Eh-oh, Owwie!  Owwie is vewwy vewwy big!  Ask Owwie again again!  If } > de Pokemon fight Tewwetubbies, wha' happen?  Bye bye! } } Not this time, then.  But he knew that. } } The wind blows the last dead leaves of Autumn across the balcony. } } The Oracle sighs, turns, and leaves the balcony, leaves the icy wind, } leaves the grey sky.  Distracted, he fails to notice a form protrate in } the darkness inside the doorway.  From within is heard a crash, } followed by cursing and profuse grovelling. } } Eventually, there is silence. } } The first flakes of snow begin to fall.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Great and Wise Oracle: > > I have this, um ... friend.  See, my friend accidentally lost contact > with this lander^H^H^H^H^H^H model plane that he was flying, and the > people that paid for it are unhappy about that.  I was wondering do the > Martia^H^H^H^H^H^H other people in the park have anything to do with > it's loss?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}      The Martian High Comm^W^W^W neighbor's kids took offense at your, } um, friend's blatant invasion of their airsp^W^W^W^W^W really dweebish } hobby and launched fighte^W^W threw rocks to interce^W knock it down. } The MHC leaders^W^W neighbor's kids regard this incident as an act of } wa^W^W^W^W jolly good fun and are at this very moment approaching in a } heavy battle cruis^W^W^W Buick Regal with intent to vapori^W cruelly } taunt him with ion canno^W^W naughty language. } }      Your, um, friend would be well advised to run like he^W^W^W take a } vacation in a subterranean bunke^W^W^W Walt Disney World until the } impending holocau^W holiday has passed. } } You owe the Oracle a tour of Area Fift^W^W Epcot Center.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> On the first day of Y2K, my true love gave to me...

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} ...a blackout in the city. } } On the second day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, too many problems, } like a blackout in the city. } } On the third day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, three assault } weapons, too many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } On the fourth day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, four more years of } mayhem, three assault weapons, too many problems, like a blackout in } the city. } } On the fifth day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, five cinderblocks; } four more years of mayhem, three assault weapons, too many problems, } like a blackout in the city. } } On the sixth day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, six crooks-a-lootin', } five cinderblocks; four more years of mayhem, three assault weapons, } too many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } On the seventh day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, seven swans for } dinner, six crooks-a-lootin', five cinderblocks; four more years of } mayhem, three assault weapons, too many problems, like a blackout in } the city. } } On the eighth day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, eight } maids-a-murdered, seven swans for dinner, six crooks-a-lootin', five } cinderblocks; four more years of mayhem, three assault weapons, too } many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } On the ninth day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, nine banks-a-burnin', } eight maids-a-murdered, seven swans for dinner, six crooks-a-lootin', } five cinderblocks; four more years of mayhem, three assault weapons, } too many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } On the tenth day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, ten } pipers-sodomized-with-their-own-pipes, nine banks-a-burnin', eight } maids-a-murdered, seven swans for dinner, six crooks-a-lootin', five } cinderblocks; four more years of mayhem, three assault weapons, too } many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } On the eleventh day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, eleven } nukes-a-launching, ten pipers-sodomized-with-their-own-pipes, nine } banks-a-burnin', eight maids-a-murdered, seven swans for dinner, six } crooks-a-lootin', five cinderblocks; four more years of mayhem, three } assault weapons, too many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } On the last day of Y2K, my true love gave to me, twelve angry men, } eleven nukes-a-launching, ten pipers-sodomized-with-their-own-pipes, } nine banks-a-burnin', eight maids-a-murdered, seven swans for dinner, } six crooks-a-lootin', five cinderblocks; four more years of mayhem, } three assault weapons, too many problems, like a blackout in the city. } } You owe the Oracle thirteen ATMs-a-spewing.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> There once was an Oracle, all knowing, fair, > Who sat in his castle and warned us "Beware > If the question you send me has woodchucks, or lacks > Certain grovels, it's my fury you'll feel on your backs." > > In a far-distant city, alone and afraid, > A supplicant thought and a question he made. > He prefaced it well with a grovel quite full > Of obsequious crawlings and pet names and bull. > > He asked of the Oracle, (of whose fame is known > From the valleys of Leura to somewhere in Rome), > If, from the great knowledge our Oracle keeps > A small part could travel in bounds and in leaps > > From Oracular temple to server to mail > past hot Indiana and cold Innisfail, > The answer would travel, if only the Great > And the Wise Usenet Oracle would lend it some weight. > > The question he asked there, while not of the best > Was certainly higher in class than the rest. > "Oh Oracle mighty, for whom the winds roar > Please tell me the best way to kill off a snore." > > The supplicant paused, and with breath held he pressed > Down the send key, and waited, while message addressed > To "Oracle, Usenet" was packed up and sent > And off to the great Indiana it went. > > If Oracle wills it, an ending we'll see, > When on Monday we log on and check mailbox B. > So the wise Incarnation who reads this, I ask > Send an answer that's worthy of this long-writ task.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}   (Your question excels! It is surely the pinnacle, }   Writ so very well not a single word cynical.) } } An answer of worth? Is that what you seek? } I can only try, though I be quite meek. } An answer I hope is what I can supply } once I call up the courage to press on 'Reply'. } } I find that your grovel, so steeped in good verse, } has talent and humour, and nowt was perverse. } It's pleasant to see that you did heed my warning, } as woodchucks are not what one wants in the morning. } } On fame well I don't want to seem oliagenous, } But so swiftly it spread did it seem instantaneous } In a blink of an eye had it left Faulconbridge, } when already it landed on the Clintons' fridge. } } But back to the question I have to unravel } as first you did ask me 'but how will it travel?' } From Indiana will it leave with a gust, } be assured you will not see this message for dust. } } In the time that it takes for the clock just to tick, } this missive will zoom past Lismore and Chiswick, } and will safely arrive as a tune you are humming, } and land with a 'ding' in the box marked 'Incoming'. } } (that is, if evil plays not with our fates } things may be delayed if it passes by Gates) } } But now to your query no more shall I dally, } Well maybe a tad but now forth must I sally. } Now ponder it I did this question you pose; } Just how does one lessen the nocturnal nose? } } Enjoy it, I say, for I think it is good! } (Though I make much more noise than a mere mortal should.) } Biased am I with my nose that does bellow? } Admittedly yes, I'm a quite snorey fellow. } } I know not the pain I inflict upon others } I'm blissfully ignorant under the covers } Occasionally when I've shared someone's place, } I've had threats that duct tape be stuck on my face. } } Such acts are quite cruel and unkind and so callow, } so may I suggest - and I hope it's not shallow... } Advancements in pillow design can that snore } Reduce til it is but the gentlest roar. } } Alternatively some nose-plugs may you choose, } but do be aware that they can leave a bruise } First thing in the morning no-one looks their best } add a bruised nose to that and well - be my guest. } } Try one of these tactics - it is my assumption } There'll soon be an end to your sleep interruption } I've waffled on way past my quota and so } I'll bid you adieu, but first the 'You Owe' } } } As recompence for this quite long-winded rhyme, } You owe me but one moment of your good time. } May I recommended that your spend just a minute, } and write up a poem, having me, starring in it.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, I just discovered that a paper clip is called a > "trombone" in French. > > Do French orchestras have a paper clip section?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No, but they do have a Savoir-Faire section, which, as you will recall, } is literally translated as "nose hair."  They also have, from left to } right, a section for Viola, Voila, Tuba, Coup d'Etat, Mise En Scene, Je } Ne Sais Quoi, and the ever popular Raison D'Etre. } } So now you know.  And knowing is half the battle.  ("G.I. JOOOOOEE!") } } You owe the Oracle a copy of Debussy's "Etude for Deja-Vu and } Glockenspiel in E Minor."

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why oh why mighty, and wise beyond belief embodiement of intellectually > ephemeral metriculatory matter, are purple people eaters such an > obscene color? > > Your Most Humble Servant, > > Captain Webster

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Please paraphrase potentially parsimonious prosody, poor peccant. } } Popping poor purple people previously prevented priests' pale } poorliness, promoting pulchritude. Proles' preferred pasties, pies, } pizzas provided pestilent priesthood; processing purple people provided } power, principles, prosperity. People protested, preventing priests } pulling purple people.  Problems plagued priesthood. } } Passionate papists prayed prolifically, praising pages, proposing } possible potions, performing priapic peccadillos. Precepts, public } pressure protected purple people; portentously praeternatural } preoccupations pushed precipitously. } } Prior Peter, pained post prandial paucity, played potions } pragmatically.  Presently... "Powerful parables!" prattled proud } Peter, "Potion's proved principle!" Panting, Peter passed praying } priests potion. "Pah!" pooh-poohed priests, "Prior's prattish prank!" } } Peter persisted; priests packed potion. Pow! Priests' pelts } proved purest puce! Potion's power performed; pukey puce pelts } petrified puffing parsons. "Port primped pelts plainly!" pleaded } Peter, preening.  Pretending painful practices, puggy pugilist Peter } prodded purple proles, picking plump Peppa (polymorphously perverse). } Petrified protestors, perceiving Prior's pusillanimous puce pelt, } paled, panicked. } } Passing priory, pulling Peppa, Peter praised potion's paining puce. } Pasties? Pies? Pizzas? Pah! Peter prepared posthumous preserved purple } person, pending prandial plenitude. } } Presently Peter placed presidential port, plucking penultimate purple } person piece. Providing people's proverb: } } Peter Prior pinched peck pickled Peppa. } } Penance: provide priesthood plenty punnier puns.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Non-bifocal wearing Oracle whose vision into the perplexities of human > life can not be overlooked, > > Does the genetic code contain useful comments?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It most certainly does! As you are no doubt aware, each DNA double } helix contains 2 polynucleotide strands called the sense and antisense } strands. Only the former is used as a template for creating proteins; } the latter contains all the comments. Let's examine a random chunk of } your DNA (straightened out so as not to overstrain my ascii art } capabilities), remembering that each triplet of base pairs constitutes } a codon: } } SENSE }      1        2        3        4        5        6        7        8 } ------------------------------------------------------------------------ }  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | }  C  A  G  T  T  C  A  C  A  G  G  G  C  T  A  A  G  C  T  A  G  Z  O  T }  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | }  G  T  C  A  A  G  T  G  T  C  C  C  G  A  T  T  C  G  A  T  C  Z  O  T }  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | } ------------------------------------------------------------------------ } ANTISENSE } } CODON 1 (Sense) }     Blue eyes (recessive). } CODON 1 (Antisense) }     REM  Since your Dad was homozygous for brown eye colour, he really }     REM  should have been watching the milkman more closely. } } CODON 2 (Sense) }     Blood group Rhesus negative (dominant). } CODON 2 (Antisense) }     REM  Good news - you're not a monkey. } } CODON 3 (Sense) }     Premature male pattern baldness (recessive). } CODON 3 (Antisense) }     REM  Better start investing in some Regaine now, slaphead, if you }     REM  don't want to end up looking like William Hague. } } CODON 4 (Sense) }     Tourette's syndrome (recessive). } CODON 4 (Antisense) }     REM  Look, I just write the #&%%!*@ comments, okay? I'm not $%^##@+ }     REM  responsible for the @#=*+%$"!!!@# genome, so &*@~$$#% off! } } CODON 5 (Sense) }     Wrinkled pea (dominant). } CODON 5 (Antisense) }     REM  Either humans are much more closely related to pea plants }     REM  than scientists heretofore suspected, or else there's a kink }     REM  in your urethra. } } CODON 6 (Sense) }     Tendency not to pay the Oracle what you owe him (recessive). } CODON 6 (Antisense) }     REM  You swine! } } CODON 7 (Sense) }     Stop codon - prevents remaining instructions on this strand from }     being carried out. } CODON 7 (Antisense) }     REM  But this gene is switched off if the codon immediately }     REM  preceding it is recessive, you miserly little ratbag. }     REM  Coincidence? Hardly - the old guy with the halo and the }     REM  long white beard owes me a few from way back. } } CODON 8 (Sense) }     AutoZOT (dominant). } CODON 8 (Antisense) }     REM  Imagine life as you know it stopping instantaneously and }     REM  all the molecules in your body exploding at the speed of }     REM  light if you so much as think of displeasing the Internet }     REM  Oracle. } } You owe the Oracle all of Margaret Thatcher's DNA. And a blender.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Grovulated Oracle, I fall on my nose before you just to sing your > praises. > > I am troubled by birds.  They are outside my window, day and night. > My mother says that they are morning doves and evening grossbeeks. > Why are they there all the time?  Why don't they stick to their own > times of day? > > The morning doves look like pigeons, even in the evening.  Maybe > they're not doves at all, like the holy roman umpire which wasn't any > of those.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Good call, Supplicant.  But listen carefully.  What I'm about to } tell you is highly dangerous.  If the wrong set of eyes read this, } you'll be in serious danger.  Close the shades. Delete this email as } soon as you read it.  For safety's sake, it's best if you reformat } your hard drive as soon as possible. } } Birds are not native to this planet.  They are a highly intelligent and } remarkably well-organized invasion force.  The Oracle, in cooperation } with some others that I can't name in such a nonsecure medium, has } been fighting against them for millenia; it is a testament to their } power and tenacity that even entities as powerful as we cannot drive } them away. } } Every now and again, they choose one or two people at random for } psychological testing.  Oh, it all seems innocent at first, to be sure. } A songbird outside the window here, a crow cawing in the afternoon. } Bit by bit, the chosen subject is driven mad, and they come closer to } their objective of total mental control over humanity.  This is what's } happened to you.  All is not hopeless; you can thwart them by following } a seemingly-random program of blocking out their mind-controlling } chirps and songs.  Use headphones, a loud TV, foil-lined ear plugs, } a jackhammer.  Do what you must, but be careful. } } This is key.  YOU MUST NOT LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THIS! } Hitchcock was taking a chance by releasing the documentary film "The } Birds" at all.  We argued against it, but he felt he needed to get } the word out somehow, that if only a few human lives were saved each } year, the risk was worth it.  Poe was less lucky with "The Raven"; } his death was made to look accidental but I assure you, he did *not* } die in an alcoholic stupor.  They think nothing of sending one of } their suicide geese into a jet engine in order to take out the one } person on the flight who knows the truth. } } Take care, Supplicant.  We can't do much for you without throwing } all our plans in jeopardy, but we will do what we can. } } You owe the Oracle a copy of "The Birds" on DVD.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> 2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1 > __________________________________________________ > Do You Yahoo!? > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} What are those, the scores you want for this answer?  Well, if you } insist... } } --- 1132-01 YAho0 2.0 ------------------------------------------------ } Selected-By: Zadoc Worm <worm@cs.indiana.edu> } } The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. } Your question was: } } > Do You Yahoo!? } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } } } Do You Grovel!? } } Thousands of Watts.  Millions of Volts.  All in one place. } } Oracle! Zotting: http://zotting.oracle.com } } --- 1132-02 *0001 1.0 ------------------------------------------------ } Selected-By: Rebecca Thompson <wanko_2_1@juno.com> } } The Internet Oracle has pondered your question shallowly. } Your question was: } } > Do You Yahoo!? } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } And in response, thus spewed the Oracle: } } } GIF! } } --- 1132-03 blEah 3.0 ------------------------------------------------ } Selected-By: "Paul L. Kelly" <helphelpiwantoutahere@mindspring.com> } } The Internet Oracle has pondered your query briefly. } Your query was: } } > Do You Yahoo!? } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } And in reply, thus said the Oracle: } } } Only with Hot Males from Juneau. } } } } You owe the Oracle a less suggestive tagline. } } --- 1132-04 g33kY 4.0 ------------------------------------------------ } Selected-By: R.P.Clement@westminster.ac.uk (Don Rosso Clementi) } } The Uselessnet Oracle has pondered your tellme lengthily. } Your tellme was: } } > Do You Yahoo!? } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } And unfortunately, thus wrote the Oracle: } } } Captain's Log, Stardate 8715.0: The Enterprise is investigating a } } report of ancient Earth artifacts being discovered in the Oohay } } system.  In spite of the fact that there are several fully } } functional Federation science vessels already in the system, the } } Writers have chosen to send us to investigate. } } } } WORF: We are approaching the last known site of the artifacts. } } } } PICARD: On screen. } } } } [A huge swirling cloud of unidentifiable fragments appears on } } screen.] } } } } PICARD: Magnify. } } } } [One of the artifacts appears on screen.  It is a card with the word } } "Pokemon" printed on it.] } } } } PICARD: Data, do you know what this is? } } } } DATA: Yes, I believe I do, Captain.  Pokemon refers to a ritualistic } } form of torture used by late twentieth century children to control } } the adults of the time.  In fact some intelligence reports indicate } } that the Cardassians have obtained-- } } } } PICARD: No, I mean, how did the artifacts get here? } } } } DATA: Scanning.  Strange.  I am reading abnormal density readings at } } the center of the cloud.  It is almost as if several million of the } } artifacts are occupying the same point in the space-time continuum. } } [Cut to commercial.  Continue for 300 more lines, or at least until }  the "Best Of" digest becomes so large that it ends before my^H^Ha }  *good* answer like 1117-09 is included.  I mean, really, it scored }  3.675, that's only .045 points lower than 1104-10, did it *really* }  have to be the one that -- What? Oh, the answer. Sorry.] } } --- 1132-05 sp3ew 3.0 ------------------------------------------------ } Selected-By: Og <og@nol.com> } } The tired Oracle has brushed off your message annoyedly. } Your message was: } } > Do You Yahoo!? } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } And it is alleged, that the Oracle spake thus: } } } Let's find out. } } } } Yahoo! } } } } Hmm. Looks like I do. } } } } You owe the Oracle a more difficult question. } } --- 1132-06 0000* 5.0 ------------------------------------------------ } Selected-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu> } } The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. } Your question was: } } > Do You Yahoo!? } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } } } What are those, the scores you want for this answer?  Well, if you } } insist... } } } } --- 1132-01 YAho0 2.0 ---------------------------------------------- } } > Hey, wait a second.  That's not funny! } } What? } } > Do you realize how incredibly tired recursion jokes are? I wouldn't } > even give that a "3". } } Well... } } > I bet the next line was going to be something like "recursion fault } > (core dumped)".  In fact, this whole answer looks suspiciously like } > 1063-09.  Can't you think of anything original for a change? } } Hey, now, are you telling _Me_ about originality?  Need I remind you } that you have posted that "2 1 3 4 3  5 3 3 4 1" joke to } rec.humor.oracle.d *four times* already. } } > Well... } } It's not even funny to begin with.  And it doesn't make for a decent } predator-raptor followup.  Let's see here: } } : > This insert has a protective coating. } : } : 2 1 3 4 3  5 3 3 4 1 } } : > A man best possession is a sympathetic wife. } : } : 2 1 3 4 3  5 3 3 4 1 } } It just doesn't doesn't cut it. } } > I still wouldn't give this answer a five. } } Really? Well, need I remind you about the time, when you first } discovered the Oracle, and asked how much-- } } > Wait!  All of a sudden I'm starting to find this answer } > sidesplittingly hilarious. } } As you well should.  Now, may I finish the answer? } } } Selected-By: Zadoc Worm <worm@cs.indiana.edu> } } } } The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. } } Your question was: } } } } > Do You Yahoo!? } } > Thousands of Stores.  Millions of Products.  All in one place. } } > Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com } } } } And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Predictability fault (core dumped) } NO CARRIER