1150-08 (8dnl5 dist, 3.0 mean)
Selected-By: "Julianna Avedon" <SOteric2@email.msn.com>
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
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> Oh oracle Most Wise, whos exploits are truly thrilling.....
>
> The room was small, the plaster cracked, the carpet thread-bare.
>
> There was a single bed, unmade, a small, coffee-stained wooden table,
> two wooden chairs, and a sink. Above the sink, where there once had
> been a mirror, was a slightly less dirty patch of wall, now covered in
> names and telephone numbers in a hundred different illegible scrawls.
>
> The dim light from a single 30 watt bulb was sporadically augmented
> by the flickering red neon sign of a strip-joint across the street.
> The unmistakable stench of stale urine filled the room.
>
> A nervous, balding little man with wire-rimmed glasses and beadly
> eyes paced the floor, occasionally pausing to suck on the cigarette
> he held in his left hand.
>
> "Vun more tyme, Herr Oracle, vere iss der planz fur de Staff ov
> Zottink ?"
>
> "You'll never get them from me, Fritz" his captive replied coolly.
>
> The man chained to the chair was everything his captor was not, tall,
> athletic, handsome, and confidant.
>
> "Ve have vayz, you know, ov makink you talk." the small man said,
> with obvious relish.
>
> "Do your worst to me, nazi scum, you'll get nothing."
>
> "I vaz tinkink of frauline Lisa, such a fine voman, such a shame if
> anythink should happen to her. You know, my men hav been avay from
> zeir vives for a long time...." the small man leered.
>
> Suddenly, the door burst open, and a man in a mask and figure-hugging
> Lycra suit stepped through.
>
> "Give yourself up now, evil-doer, for I am Zabulon The Mighty !"
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And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
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} The small man looked at the figure in the doorway, then glanced to
} the side at the german colonel and his guard.
}
} "I svear," said the colonel, adjusting his monocle. "I don't know
} who this man is General Burkhalter."
}
} "Klink, I'm warning you," said the little man, "if this is another
} vone of your ploys, you're in for it!"
}
} "I know nothink!" said the guard.
}
} "Step away from the prisoner!" said Zabulon.
}
} While the germans were distracted, a figure appeared in a trap door
} on the floor next to the Oracle.
}
} "Bonjour, meesyor Oracool! I am LeBeau. Colonel Hogan has plans to
} get you out of here."
}
} "What happened to your accent?" said the oracle.
}
} "I am an acteur," said LeBeau. "I'm not even french, I'm from Toledo."
}
} After slicing through the ropes that bound the Oracle to the chair,
} Lebeau helped him down the trap door and through the secret tunnel
} under the camp.
}
} Meanwhile, Zabulon continued to confront the germans. When he saw
} that the Oracle was safely away, and the trap door was closed, he
} raised his toy ray gun and pointed it at the chair.
}
} "Klink!" shouted the small man. "Ver is de prisoner!?"
}
} "He made him disappear General Burkhalter!"
}
} "I know nothink!" said the guard.
}
} "I must use your radio, Klink. If the allies are using superheros
} then ve must haff one too!"
}
} <cut to the secret tunnel under the barracks>
}
} Zabulon arrived, climbing down yet another secret entrance. Hogan pats
} him on the shoulder.
}
} "Good work, Carter, you really had 'em going there."
}
} "Did you see zer faces when they saw zat the chair was empty?" said
} LeBeau, and they all laughed.
}
} "Well," said the Oracle, "I must be going. Can I ask why you guys
} don't use these tunnels to escape?"
}
} "Because then," said Hogan, "there'd be no show!"
}
} Everyone laughed mightily at the joke. The Oracle shook hands all
} around and, touching the brim of his hat, he turned around and started
} to walk down the dark tunnel. Suddenly, he stopped.
}
} "I almost forgot!" he said, reaching in his pockets. "The secret
} delivery I was supposed to make to you, Hogan!"
}
} He tossed a small package to Hogan, then turned and disappeared down
} the tunnel. The men all gather around Hogan as he opens the package.
}
} "What eez eet?" asked LeBeau.
}
} "It's a special delivery," chuckles Hogan, then he pulls a pair of
} nylons out and shows the men.
}
} The men shook their heads and turned to walk away from Hogan.
}
} "Wait!" Hogan shouted. "They're not for me!" But the men kept their
} backs to him.
}
} "They're for Hilda! I swear!"
}
} <cut to theme song>
}
}
} You owe the Oracle some more walk-ons on old shows.
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
