|
} EXO 2:1 And there went a man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a
} daughter of Levi.
} EXO 2:2 And the woman conceived, and bare a son; and when she saw his
} toeses, which were all pink and wrinkly, she thought they were like
} unto small roses.
} EXO 2:3 Then she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with
} slime and with pitch; and she put the child therein, and laid it in the
} flags by the river's brink.
} EXO 2:4 And it came to pass that the daughter of Pharaoh came down to
} bathe at the river; and she saw the ark among the flags, and sent her
} handmaid to fetch it.
} EXO 2:5 And she opened the ark, and saw the child; and, behold, his
} toeses were more wrinkly still, because of having been in the water so
} long. And she was much amazed, and said, Surely these toeses are posies
} of roses.
} EXO 2:6 And Pharaoh's daughter said unto her, Take this child away,
} and nurse it for me, and take especial care of its toeses, because they
} are kind of cute. And the woman took the child, and nursed it, toeses
} and all.
} EXO 2:7 And the child grew, and he was brought unto Pharaoh's
} daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Moses, and
} said, Because it rhymes.
}
} EXO 3:1 Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the
} priest of Midian; and he led the flock to the backside of the desert,
} and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.
} EXO 3:2 And the Lord God appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of
} the midst of a bush; and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with
} fire, but the bush was not consumed.
} EXO 3:3 And Moses said unto himself, Were that bush a rose bush, and
} were the roses my toeses and yet they were not consumed, then how many
} would I have left?
} EXO 3:4 And God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and
} said, Moses, Moses, you knowses your toeses aren't roses. Supposes what
} you like, but nobody's toeses are posies of roses.
} EXO 3:5 But Moses persisted, saying, Indeed, I knows a rose is a rose
} and a toese is a toese. But, leaving that aside for a moment: supposing
} they actually were roses, how many rose toeses would I actually have
} left?
} EXO 3:6 And God said unto him, As many as you started with. And he
} said, That's not a big help, Lord; ancient Middle Eastern education
} isn't too hot on numeracy.
}
} EXO 10:12 Then Jehovah said unto Moses, Stretch out your hand over
} the land of Egypt for the locusts, that they may come up upon the land
} of Egypt, and eat every herb of the land, even all that the hail hath
} left.
} EXO 10:13 And Moses said, But what about my toeses, Lord? Are they to
} be spared being consumed by the fire, only to be gobbled up by a bunch
} of locusts?
} EXO 10:14 And God said, I don't want to hear any more about your
} toeses, Moses.
}
} EXO 19:1 In the third month after the children of Israel were gone
} forth out of the land of Egypt, the same day came they into the
} wilderness of Sinai.
} EXO 19:2 And when they were departed from Rephidim, and were come to
} the wilderness of Sinai, they encamped in the wilderness; and there
} Israel encamped before the mount.
} EXO 19:3 And Moses went up unto God, and Jehovah called unto him out
} of the mountain, saying, Thus shall you say to the house of Jacob, and
} tell the children of Israel...
} EXO 19:4 But Moses interrupted, saying, Yes, but about my rose-like
} toeses, Lord: how many would you say there actually are? Bearing in
} mind that none of them has actually been consumed by either fire or
} ravenous insects. It's been bothering me some time now.
} EXO 19:5 Then spake the Lord unto him, I told you I didn't want to
} hear any more about your stupid toeses. Now listen, I've thought up ten
} commandments for you to hand unto my people.
} EXO 19:6 And Moses said, Ten sounds a good number.
}
} EXO 20:1 And God spake all these words, saying,
} EXO 20:2 I am Jehovah thy God, who brought thee out of the land of
} Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Let's get this show on the road:
} EXO 20:3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
} EXO 20:4 Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image.
} EXO 20:5 Thou shalt not take the name of Jehovah thy God in vain.
} EXO 20:6 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
} EXO 20:7 Honour thy father and thy mother.
} EXO 20:8 Thou shalt not kill.
} EXO 20:9 Thou shalt not commit adultery; at least, not more than
} absolutely necessary.
} EXO 20:10 Thou shalt not steal.
} EXO 20:11 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
} EXO 20:12 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, neither shalt
} thou covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his man-servant, nor his maid-
} servant, nor his ox, nor his toeses--damnation!
} EXO 20:13 And Moses, who was carving the words onto tablets of stone
} as Jehovah dictated, said, I didn't quite catch that last bit, Lord.
} EXO 20:14 And God said unto Moses, You've got me doing it now. You
} and your effing toeses! I'll afflict them with black spot, see how you
} like that!
} EXO 20:15 Then Moses came down the mountain and said unto the people,
} Now you may be wondering why I'm walking like this.
} EXO 20:16 But the people stood afar off, and sprayed Moses with
} fungicide whenever he drew near, for black spot is a bugger to get rid
} of as any gardener will testify. And so it went on for many days...
}
} If we might veer off at a tangent at this point, Supplicant, did you
} know that you can almost but not quite sing your question to the finale
} of Sibelius' 5th symphony?
|
![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
