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} Unfortunately even the Oracle can't see in the dark. Though I must
} admit your subsequent cursing and hopping around on one foot on the
} slick bathroom floor is extremely entertaining.
}
} First, check to make sure you put the vacuum cleaner away.
}
} If that wasn't it, you might consider the possibility of keeping
} your room more messy. It is a little known fact that people who
} have cluttered rooms actually have FEWER accidents than those with
} who keep their rooms spic and span. Messy people learn to walk
} tentatively so they don't hurt themselves, no matter what they step on.
} Even something like...say...an elephant involves just a slight bump,
} then a quick backstep and some skirting.
}
} Likewise, if you were a messier person you would realise that you can't
} stub your toes on dirty laundry, or dust, and if you HAVE moved all the
} furniture out of the way, as you claim, and you are not just tripping
} over your own feet, then you must be "connecting with" some permanent
} feature of your room, such as a step, loose floorboard, wall, or your
} roommate, passed out on the floor. All of these could be avoided by
} the simple precaution of keeping your room messy. Then your roommate
} would go out to drink, and you'd have a nice cushion of dirty laundry
} to protect your toe from any stray cinder-blocks.
}
} However, if this is just eating you up, you are just going to have to
} catch yourself stubbing your toe, and look to see what you stubbed
} it on. This will require falling asleep with your contacts in, and
} you'll need to strap a flashlight on your wrist, so you'll have it when
} you wake up. Then, when you stub your toe, FREEZE. You may have to
} jam your fist down your throat or do something equally distracting to
} keep from hopping around on one foot yelling, but it will be worth it.
} Now, shine the flashlight on your foot. If there's nothing there,
} it's probably just gnomes, and you should just call the exterminator.
} Otherwise, you've found the offending object! Resist the temptation to
} rip it out of the floor. Instead, take a nice, long, calming shower,
} and then set about removing it from the face of the earth. Unless,
} of course, it's the mount for the chandelier on the floor below.
}
} You owe the Oracle a construction dumpster and a free weekend.
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