1185-05 (4cik2 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
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> Oh, Oracle most wise, bountiful, and all that other stuff....
>
> In the course of an ordinary day, a question arose that completely
> baffled me. So, naturally, I logged onto the computer and put it to
> work. I calculated mass, trajectory, the gross national product,
> certain variables of space and time, the number of firing neurons at
> three in the morning (both with and without the coffee factor,) did
> hours of research on the internet, and finally came up with this
> inescapable conclusion:
>
> Men aren't from the same planet women are.
>
> The problem is, I don't have enough of a system to research further.
> All answers point towards the fact that not only are they from a
> different planet, they may be from a different universe, and possibly
> from a different dimension, or all three. In the interests of
> science, what are the signs I should look for in order to push this
> project to it's end and come up with a inarguable theory?
>
> Thanks,
> A Puzzled Theoretic Scientist
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And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
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} The Internet Oracle: Class, what is the main problem with this query?
}
} Student #1: It goes on for too long!
}
} TIO: Please elaborate.
}
} Student #1: He talks and talks about this great theory he's concocting,
} but instead of asking what dimension people are from or what the
} quickest route is, he keeps rambling! And then when he finally does
} shut up and get down to the nitty gritty, he goes and asks the wrong
} question!
}
} Student #2: Well, maybe he just likes to do all his own work.
}
} Student #3: Yeah, unlike -some- people I could mention.
}
} TIO: But ...?
}
} Student #4: But he admits the limitations of his own system. He says
} that there's no way he would be able to calculate properly with his
} current capabilities. He's dead in the water!
}
} Student #1: See? Then he -does- ask the wrong question!
}
} Student #5: Well maybe he's just a sexist pig.
}
} TIO: I beg your pardon?
}
} Student #5: It's obvious. He's just some geek who obviously doesn't
} know how to talk to a woman, much less date one, so he comes up with
} some crazy theory, saying "Oh, men and women are so different; oh,
} they're from different planets, that's why they don't understand each
} other; oh my gosh, I can't fathom the woman's soul." Please. Women
} are about as deep as flatware.
}
} Student #2: Hey!
}
} Student #5: Er, no offense.
}
} Student #1: Besides, he says it's all scientifically based. Maybe it
} started out as a pet theory, and maybe he is a geek who doesn't know
} any better, but this has changed into science.
}
} TIO: And of course we all know how infallible human science is.
}
} [class erupts in laughter]
}
} Student #6: [chuckling] Wormholes!
}
} Student #3: [guffawing] Super-strings!
}
} Student #4: [bent over, barely able to breathe] Dark matter!
}
} [yet more laughter]
}
} [much, much later, when the class has quieted down...]
}
} TIO: [still smirking] And so we see the main problem with this query:
} it's based on the "scientific" assumption that there's such thing as an
} inarguable theory.
}
} ***RIIIIIIIIING***
}
} TIO: And that's all the time we have today. You owe it to the Oracle
} to read chapters three and four, and write a satirical essay entitled
} "What's Wrong With Human Science," due Monday.
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
