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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Most Laodicean Oracle and Master of Laputa! You are our Lupercal > of Knowledge! > > Should we eat with the savages or kill them?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} You could do both. } } They're quite tasty if properly cooked. } } Just be careful of those magic fire-sticks the savages carry, they } can be very dangerous. } } And whatever you do, don't accept any beads or mirrors from them, } they'll later claim you sold them all your land. } } You owe The Oracle half of the beads and mirrors you take from the } dead savages.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why did the doctor say he was going to give me a "pelvic" exam?  He > didn't examine my hipbones at all.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It's OK.  That wasn't a stethoscope, either.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O wise and benevolent Oracle, who art more wise and benevolent than any > other deity to whom I've bent my knee... > > Does she really love me?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Lets see.... } } You: An 85 year old ald man with none of his own teeth. } Her: A gorgeous 24 year old blonde that men would kill for. } } You: Look forward to a good long sleep. } Her: Looks forward to a good long ... well, you know. } } You: An oil millionaire. } Her: A former stripper and playboy centerfold. } } Of course she loves you. } Marry her immediately. } } You owe The Oracle the opportunity to console your widow, in a few } weeks time.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Oh, Oracle, you answer supplicants so many times with top ten lists. > >  What are the top ten Top Ten Lists you've ever seen?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} 10) Top Ten Ways to Collect from Deadbeat Supplicants } 09) Top Ten Places to Get Free Ambrosia } 08) Top Ten Things to Say that will Drive Anyone Named }     Lisa Wild with Unbridled Desire } 07) Top Ten Tennis Tops (photo essay) } 06) Top Ten Ways to Housebreak your Og } 05) Top Ten Things that You can say Guaranteed to Scare }     Groveling Yes Men Half to Death } 04) Top Ten Off the Cuff Answers that People will Laugh }     At, even if They're a Stuffed Shirt or an Irritable }     Jealous Recently Stilted Wannabe } 03) Top Ten Places Where Pirates Buried Gold and Never }     Got Around to Digging it Back Up, Mostly Because They }     Died Violently Before They Had A Chance So that Ill- }     Begotten Loot is Just Sitting There Not Doing Anyone }     Much Good, Nor Would it be Missed as the Original Owners }     are Also Dead, The Pirates Saw to That, Which Really }     Wasn't a Nice Thing for them to Have Done, Don't You }     Agree? } 02) Top Ten Ways to Stop a Shaggy Dog in its Tracks } 01) Top Ten Top Ten Lists The Oracle has Ever Seen } } You owe the Oracle a bad toupee.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I use "American_America.AR8ISO8859P6" for my NLS_Lang. > they exported a user opjects with the command "exp80 user/password > filename" they dropped the user, recreated it again and used the > command "imp80 user/password filename full=y ignore=y" > > when they retrieve data question marks are there instead of words. I > checked the NLS_lang. It is still the same no change. I imported and > old exported data that I exported myself and it worked well. The > problem is that exported file is three months old. I need to import the > last exported objects. > > How can I solve this problem? > > Thank you so much > > Oms

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} This is what the Oracle does. It always works for me. } } Enjoy. } } 1 cup butter, softened } 1/2 cup powdered sugar } 1 tsp vanilla } 2-1/4 cups flour } 1/4 tsp salt } 3/4 cup finely chopped pecans } } Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mix butter, sugar, and } vanilla until well blended. Work in flour, salt, and nuts } until dough holds together. Shape dough into 1" balls. } Place on ungreased baking sheet. Bake 10-12 minutes or } until set but not brown. While warm, roll in powdered } sugar. Cool and roll again in powdered sugar.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Most Wise, Sagacious, and Creative Oracle, > Soothsayer, Prognosticator, and Prevaricator of All Knowledge Great, > Small, and Created On The Spur Of The Moment.  Please answer this > humble supplicant's quest for answers. > > So with the canidates each claiming they know best, each saying they > will do best, and now, each claiming victory, why can't we just dump > this whole election process.  Wouldn't an All-Knowing, All-Seeing, > All-Whatever, Oracle make a better president than anyone the "parties" > can run?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The scene : A sunny play room, populated several young children. } Bright Sunlight pours in from a open window.  Three of the children are } playing on the carpet.  They are playing with coloured wooden blocks. } The adult supervising them smiles. The children seem happy. } } Teacher:   So... What are you building, Eric? } } Eric:   I'm making a car. } } Teacher : And Janice, What are  you... } } [Bang.. The door explodes off it hinges. Behind it are three broad } shoulder men, each dressed in a black suit, back socks, white shirts } with black ties and black glasses.  The three men are surrounded by } several men in camouflage fatigues.  The army men are holding sub } machine guns,  the suits are holding .45 hand guns. The front most } man followed by the group crosses the room, to stand in front of Eric.] } } The Man:  Eric Taylor, You are being charged, and have subsequently } been convicted by the President of these United States, that on the } first day of August in the year 2015 - 15 years from the present date, } you did knowing and intentionally enter Tashas convince store - } which you will not be currently familiar with as it dose not yet } exist - with the intention of committing armed robbery, and that you } will subsequently shoot and kill Tasha Melano, before escaping with } $24,000.00 which you stole from the register. } } [ Eric stares blankly at the man ] } } Teacher: How would you?! You're going to be a very bad boy. } } [ The man continues speaking ] } } The Man:  You have been sentenced to death, in accordance with the } "Complete Intolerance of Crime" bill.  Under the authority of President } Oracle, I will now carry out this sentence. } } [The Man points his gun at Eric's Head.  The other Men point their guns } around the room to discurage interference by the children or teachers. } The hammer on the gun swings back and ... } } } ******* we interrupt this episode of cops to bring you ********* } ******* the following party political announcement ************* } } Vote [1] Oracle. } } The Internet Oracle stands for complete intolerance against crime. } } Vote [1] Oracle and no one get zotted. } } **************** End of announcement ***************** } } You owe the Oracle 1 vote, more if posible. Or else.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Wise Oracle most tremendous and palatable, you are swifter > than a wren in thought, tidier than a squirrel's maiden and > have soared with words higher than an angry, frightened dove, > > What is the most formal food there is?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Supplicant: } } Although some salads come fully dressed, and middle-aged English valets } are quite acceptable fare to some of the Night's Horrid Creatures, the } Oracle deems the most formal food for mere humans to be the esteemed } Asparagus.  This high-browed vegetable is consumed in a ritual that few } people realise stems from ancient pagan fertility rites. } } A vegetable that allows itself to be eaten in polite society without } this fact ever being mentioned to spoil the feasters' enjoyment must } surely be the most formal food in the world. } } In return for this consultation, please fetch the Oracle a double } cheeseburger with extra French fries and a vanilla milkshake. } } Hold the onions.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Oracle, most wise, with a huge supporting cast... > >  What ever happened to Og? And what are Sid and Harry doing? > >  (Let's see whether he admits- hey, is this thing still on?)

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oraclular Press Release #4895284-12b } } The Oracle is in way responsible for the events leading up to and } including those that happened on the 5th of November 2000. } } The Oracle did warn Og of the dangers of liquid-fueled rockets on } repeated occasions, including the date of the accident. } } The Oracle was aware of Sid and Harry's involvement in Og's project, } but was requested not to interfere by higher authority. } } The Oracle will neither confirm nor deny the identity or existence of } the higher authority. } } Og's rocket began unauthorized ignition countdown at 11:03am when Zadoc } switched on the kettle to make the Oracle a cup of tea.  An unfortunate } short circuit caused the ignition process to begin. } } The rocket exploded at 11:06am catching Og, Sid and Harry in the blast } and destroying the Oracle's solarium. } } Og, Sid and portions of Harry are currently in a serious, but stable } condition at Mt Olympus General Hospital. } } Further announcements will be made as more information comes to hand. } } You owe the Oracle a new solarium and your press pass.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> .

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Period.  Finish.  End.  Termination.  Final.  Heat-death of the } Universe.  Armageddon.  Death.  All gone.  All done.  All over.  That's } it.  Good-bye.  See ya.  Poof.  Vanish.  Finito.  Complete.  Ciao. } } The sum amount of space a brain cell occupies.  The total IQ of the } average television viewer.  What happens to the cat while it's in the } box.  What Pavlov's dogs are really thinking.  Earth from really really } far away.  A person as viewed from an airplane three kilometers up. } The only truly perfect statement.  The Big Bang before the actual Bang. } The beginning of an ellipse.  An incomplete ASCII art piece.  A } missing bead from an abacus.  Where the socks go when they die.  What } lint sees when it looks at other lint.  A winning chat-up line.  Your } sole possession. The amount in your bank account.  Gold, dyed black. } Anything small dyed black.  e. e. cumming's lost poem.  What happened } when Picasso went post-modern.  A sign that a sentence somewhere has } begun to ramble unabated.  What happens when punctuation goes bad.  How } to signify silence in an empty room.  What you see when you look } through the wrong end of a telescope.  The ultimate vanishing point -- } artists take note. That annoying piece of dirt that you just can't } sweep away, which means you'll actually have to mop this weekend.  A } speck in your eye.  An alien life form.  A target according to a person } who has never fired a gun before.  An expression of complete surprise. } What powers the average brain.  The complete rules of everyday } etiquette.  Vaporware.  The best error message ever. } } You owe the Oracle a semicolon.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, who knows more about the human psyche than Freud, > Jung and Dr. Ruth put together, please tell this lowly supplicant... > > I've been having this recurring dream where I'm straddling the > preserved body of Vladimir Lenin, screaming "Take me, Vladdie, like the > wild sex machine of a communist dictator that you are!" > > What's up with that?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Baroness Thatcher ! } } It is indeed a pleasure to hear from you. I often thought, during } your time as Prime Minister of Britain, that it would be nice if you } dropped me a line from time to time, but then, you never were known } for seeking the advice of others. } } So, you're having those dreams again, only this time it's Lenin. } Well, that's an improvement I must say, the menage-a-troi with Mao } and Stalin was a particularly disturbing image. } } The theme is quite clear, isn't it. Sex with brutal dictators who } managed to hold power until the end of their lives. } } Clearly you are having difficulty dealing with your status as a } failed dictator, and you feel that by having sex with the 'greats' } in the field, you can regain some of your lost vigor, sieze power, and } this time there'll be no more Mrs Nice Guy. Set up some extermination } camps to get rid of those troublesome unionists and civil-libertarians, } and ensure your rule for life. } } Sorry Maggie, but you've missed the boat. Opportunity knocks but once, } your chance to win a place in the pantheon of truly great dictators } has gone, you'll always be an also-ran, along with De Gaulle, Nixon, } and that really annoying librarian at the local high-school. } } Deal with it, bitch. } } You owe The Oracle an apology for the poll-tax.