} Speaking purely for myself, sunshine, I wouldn't trust the kid with a
} piece of string. So she's pissed Apollo off now, has she? I'm dying to
} know how. Hey, Danni! DANNI!
} How many times do I have to tell you, Pyth? It's Cassie!
} Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why's Apollo got it in for you?
} Apollo. You know - sun god. Blond guy. Goes around on a boogie board
} in 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys'.
} Oh, HIM! That was nothing! And anyways, it wasn't--
} --Your fault. How did I guess? C'mon, spill it. What did you do?
} Well, it was when Sibyl sent you to check out Shangri-La, to see
} whether it was the happiest place on earth, remember? Only then
} she had second thoughts, 'cos maybe it was the Elysian Fields
} instead, so she sent me to Mount Olympus to ask. And those Greek
} gods, like, they were real nice to me! I mean Zeus, he turned
} himself into this *ever* so cute swan, see, and then he--
} Cut to the chase, Danni.
} Cassie! Well, then Apollo wanted to know why we were called
} 'Delphic Research', and were we trying to make out like we were
} his oracle or something? And I said no way because Sibyl has been
} around for simply *ages*, right, and so she must have been the
} first, so sucks to his rotten oracle with knobs on and... Well,
} at that point Hera said it should be decided by a contest--
} What - you against the Oracle of Delphi?
} That's right.
} Ohhhh GHOD...
} And you know what's funny? We never even left Greece. Like, at
} school they told us Delphi was in India. Shows how much those
} teachers know, eh?
} What happened next?
} We all went in this cave, which was horrible and full of fumes and
} smelled of rotten eggs. I guess that oracle doesn't wash much.
} And then the high priest asked, "Oh great oracle of the ages,
} daughter of Gaia and Typhon, queen of the past, present and
} future, we bring you wondrous gifts and beg you to tell us - Who
} will win the 12:10 at Sandown Park?" And then we heard this weird
} woman's voice moaning and groaning in the darkness, and eventually
} she says, "The race is not necessarily to the swift nor the battle
} to the strong, nor chocolate brownies to the sweet-toothed, nor
} ferrets to the owners of unicycles." And a lot more stuff like
} that. Well, one or two of the demigods were prodding each other
} in the ribs and snickering behind their hands, and you could see
} Apollo wasn't any too pleased because his oracle was talking such
} rubbish, and--
} Fast forward, Cass.
} Right. Then the high priest turns to me and asks me the same
} question, only missing out the bit about wondrous gifts, which
} I thought was a bit stinky. So I ask who's running, and they
} show me a newspaper with the starting line-up, and you know what?
} There's this horse called 'Pretty In Pink'! So I say *that* one,
} because you know how I like pink--
} I'm beginning to have this feeling I don't really want to know how
} this ends...
} And then Zeus announces that whatever the prophetess Cassandra
} says is good enough for him, and that he's going to put his shirt
} on 'Pretty In Pink' at 14 to one. And he gives me this big smile,
} which is really sweet of him, only Hera looks real miffed, I don't
} know why--
} She's his wife.
} She IS??? He didn't say he was married! Oooh!
} Tantrums later. Get on with the narrative.
} Well, when Zeus said he was betting everything on 'Pretty In
} Pink', all the other gods did too, even Apollo.
} And 'Pretty In Pink' finished?
} You astonish me.
} Yeah well, I don't tell a horse how fast to run, do I? So how can
} anybody say it's *my* fault?
} Gods can be so unreasonable. All the same, I don't think we'll be
} referring to this case in any of our publicity material, if you don't
} Married! Huh! What a sleazeball!