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} Ah, you appear to have stumbled upon something very rare; a portion
} of the original draft of "Poor Richard's Almanack." It was rejected
} because...well, I might as well quote the publisher's rejection
} letter.
}
} SENT VIA Eight-Week Priority Mail
}
} MESSRS. Smithfield and Fieldfmith
} Publifhers Appointed By His Majefty
} The King To Publifh Official
} Documents, Notices, Pamphlets,
} Works of Great Literature, &c.
} Located Near the New North Church
} Bofton, Maffachuffets
}
} October the Third,
} The Year of Our Lord 1756
}
} MR. Benjamin Franklin
} 7 Market Street
} Philadelphia, Pennfylvania
}
} Our Dear Mr. Franklin,
}
} Thank you for fubmitting your Manufcript "Poor Richard's Almanack" to
} us. We regret to inform you that it does not meet our Needs at the
} Prefent Time.
}
} While we do believe that fuch an Almanack, giving Information on the
} Atlantic Ocean Tides, Phafes of the Moon and other Heavenly Bodies,
} as well as Weather Forecafts for the several Colonies, would be met
} with much Intereft and General Acclaim among the Publick at Large, we
} do not believe that the Publick would be receptive to many of the
} Aphorifms, Sayings, and Wife Counfel of Poor Richard that you have
} included in your Almanack. They offer Bad Advice, and make the Blood
} and the other Humours nervous. Pleafe allow us to quote the worft
} Offenders:
}
} "Never leave that till to-morrow what you can do to-day, unleff you
} juft don't feel like it."
}
} "Dost Thou hate Life? Then feel free to squander Time, for that is
} what Life is made of."
}
} "The early Bird gets the Worm; the late Bird gets the fat and juicy
} Beetle that did not emerge from under a rock until the Sun heated the
} ground; both Birds will choke on their Meals and die."
}
} "For want of a Nail, the Shoe was loft; for want of a Shoe, the Horfe
} was loft; for want of a Horfe, the Rider was loft; for want of a
} Rider, the Battle was loft; for want of a Battle, the Earth was
} deftroyed by a Weapon that will be invented in the Future, whose
} Terrible Power and Deftruction we cannot comprehend."
}
} Once again, we offer our most fincere Thanks for fubmitting your
} manufcript to us. However, we have juft announced the Publication of
} our own Almanack for the coming year 1757, to be given the Title "Sir
} or Madam, Would You Kindly Open This Almanack to Difcover and Be
} Aftounded by All Sorts of Information, Please?" Therefore, a
} refubmittal of your manufcript, with certain Corrections to make the
} Tone more Light and lefs depreffing, fhall not be welcomed. May we
} fuggeft that you publifh fuch a Volume by yourfelf?
}
} We remain Moft Sincerely Yours,
} JOS. A. SMITHFIELD and
} GEO. J. FIELDSMITH, Publishers
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