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} You bet karma is real, my dear supplicant. Your every action will
} either build or deplete your karma.
}
} For example:
}
} Letting someone go ahead of you in traffic when you didn't need
} to: +1d6 karma
}
} Cutting somebody off: -1d6 karma
}
} Giving to a worthwhile charity: +3d6 karma
}
} Giving to the Republican party (not talking about taxes here,
} either): -3d6 karma
}
} Bombing and/or embargoing a third-world country into ruins: -6d1764
} karma (That's right, roll six 1,764-sided dice. God not only does play
} dice with the Universe, but he owns a really l33t gaming store.)
}
} Resisting the temptation to give money and/or arms to shady guerrilla
} leaders or dictators in the first place so they never come back to
} bite you in the ass: +6d6 karma (C'mon, we don't give huge bonuses for
} obvious decisions)
}
} Solving a long outstanding mathematical or scientific problem: +8d42
} karma
}
} That has immediate or long-term benefits for mankind: +8d716 karma
}
} That's actually just a new innovation in advertising: -42d1000 karma
}
} Making "All your base" jokes: -2d4 karma
}
} Writing a worthwhile oracularity: +2d4 karma
}
} Asking about woodchucks: -3d1000 karma
}
} And so on, et hoc genus omne.
}
} Then, at the end of your life, if you've yet to achieve the kind of
} transcendent inner knowledge that Buddha, Lao-tse or Chris Farley
} possessed, how much karma you have determines how you get
} reincarnated. If you're in the positives, you come back as something
} better - say, a great teacher, or a dolphin, or a masseuse at an
} exclusive resort for super-models. If you're in the negatives, then
} obviously you have many lessons yet to learn, so you come back as the
} same thing or worse. Say, a database programmer, sea cucumber, or some
} kind of vole.
}
} I shudder to think what Zadoc did in his previous lives.
}
} You owe the Oracle Culture Club's greatest hits on vinyl. *Red* vinyl.
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