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} "We both know luck has nothing to do with this, Google", I barked back,
} cleaning up the last few drops of bourbon with an air of nonchalance
} and touch of i-couldn't-really-give-a-toss-ed-ness.
}
} Mr Google, had been the bane of my existence for many a moon
} now, and I knew, that his words of closure rang with an essence of
} truth. This would end here, now and more than likely in tears or at the
} least in a immature tizzy fit.
}
} More machine than man now, twisted and evil the Google gurgled
} each breath in anticipation. Our last battle left the upper east side
} in rubble. It had taken the humans years to rebuild the city, and
} hadn't done wonders for either of our reputations. We had produced a
} trail of disaster in our wake unseen even in the most ultra-violent
} anime fight scenes, leaving the inhabitants in a never ending pool of
} misery and despair. Cowering in fear all along, hoping that the next
} power packed blow from one of use would spare their lives and the lives
} of those they had grown to love unconditionally.
}
} Fate was such as asshole.
}
} I knew it was a fairly even match, but I wasn't going to let on.
} Google had better fire power now, a huge arsenal of tools, and a
} dealing method like no other search engine. But I had an untold ace or
} two up my sleave. I knew this day would come sooner or later, I was
} ready this time.
}
} "You remember your promise don't you?", he uttered.
} "Naturally...", I replied, reaching into my jacket pocket for my
} Pokemon cards.
}
} "Pinkys for your Peagamon, if you loose"
} "...and your Deluxe Pichachoo if _you_ loose", I reminded him.
}
} At that point, Google slid slowly toward the nearest table.
} Upturning a beer mat, and dividing it into to columns using his 5
} colour Bic biro. I joined him at the table, thumbing through my
} Powermon deck all the while.
}
} "Barkeep!", I yelled, "Two of your finest 7-ups... and spare us
} the ice".
}
} But no response was returned by the barman, I looked behind me,
} only to find the tell tale signs of abandonment, the barman shaped hole
} in the wall, the lonely tumbleweed wheeling past on the street outside,
} the distant cries of a hungry vulture swimming in the sky above.
}
} The Google, with all his might, ordered the first cut and did so
} with skill I hadn't seen in a Pokemon master before. This was going to
} the battle to end all battles, after this, owning his Deluxe Pichachoo
} would probably be meaningless outside of our rivalry. But with the
} first cut came the first sortie from Google.
}
} ....we played for hours, but with each hand came yet another
} draw. Each tiebreaker sudden death shoot out ended in equality. Soon
} the morning rolled round, but still we were even.
}
} "So that's one million seven hundred and sixty five thousand
} two hundred and nine for me....." I announced, playing my trademark,
} Iceamon, Pogoamon combination.
} "aah yes, your Pogoamon style is strong, but my Cowamon style
} will prevail", the Google gurgled with extreme predacious. He played
} his last card, the dreaded Cowamon from the even more dreaded
} Hefferamon deck. This was is it, this play really raised the stakes, I
} knew I was in trouble.
}
} Wiping the sweat from my brow, I slowly inspected my last card.
} Turning it up carefully so as not to let the Google know of our fate.
} But this card was special, one of kind. This one plastic pressed laser
} holygramed piece of cardboard was strong enough to bring the strongest
} of Pokewarriors to their knees. And as I played it the four walls of
} the universe the shuddered in fear, the very fabric of space and time
} stretched and rippled with it's weight.
}
} "Noooooo!" screamed the Google in defeat, "it can't be!"
}
} "yes, yes it is."
}
} "But that card was lost by the great ones when the Pokemon
} license was bought off Nintendo."
}
} "It was never lost your fool, but entrusted with me !!" (it's an
} oracular perk)
} And with that the Google began to melt, shrinking into a tiny puff of
} dust and cliche'd 'ting' sound as he finally dissolved into
} nothingness leaving this physical plane for good.
}
} ....There is no Pokemon card that can defeat the maligned
} Woodchuckamon.
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