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 } Ebola is a virus, named after a river in the Democratic Republic of the 
} Congo (formerly Zaire) in Africa, where it was first recognized. The 
} virus is one of two members of a family of RNA viruses called the 
} Filoviridae. Three of the four species of Ebola virus identified so far 
} have caused disease in humans: Ebola-Gates, Ebola-Bush, and 
} Ebola-Supplicant. The fourth, Ebola-bola, has caused disease in 
} nonhuman primates, but not in humans. 
} 
} The signs and symptoms of Ebola hemorrhagic fever are not the same for 
} all supplicants. The table below outlines symptoms of the disease, 
} according to the frequency with which they have been reported in known 
} cases. 
} 
}                        Symptoms that occur       Symptoms that occur 
}                        in Supplicants who        in Supplicants who 
} Time Frame             do not grovel             do grovel 
} ----------             -----------------------   -------------------- 
} Within a few days of   high fever, headache,     sore throat, hiccups, 
} becoming infected      muscle aches, stomach     rash, red and itchy 
} with the virus:        pain, fatigue,            eyes, possible but 
}                        explosive diarrhea,       occasional diarrhea 
}                        spam formations, 
}                        blindness 
} 
} Within one week of     chest pain, shock, nose   boredom, headaches 
} becoming infected      fungus, muscle spasms, 
} with the virus         Windows crashes, ethics 
}                        lectures from 
}                        Bill Clinton, and death 
} 
} You owe the Oracle nothing.  In fact, here's a ticket for a Congo 
} Safari for you. 
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