|
} You're really sure that you want to go out with an omniscient
} being on a date? Let's just fill you in on what that would
} really be like.
}
} [Scene: The Oracle and a young female supplicant are sitting
} at a coffee bar].
}
} TO: So, tell me something about yourself.
}
} YFS: (giggles) There's not really much to say.
}
} TO: But, didn't you spend five hours last night practicing your
} conversation with a melon propped up on the back of a chair?
}
} YFS: (flustered) ...... I might have.
}
} TO: (raises eyebrows) I liked the fried eggs as eyes by the
} way. Nice touch.
}
} YFS: Oh all right then, I did. But why did you ask?
}
} TO: Oh the usual. Being impolite's no fun if you're such a
} famous and well-known being, as well as packing a Zot wand,
} that no-one dares look even slightly annoyed. So, how many
} children were you hoping that we'd have.
}
} YFS: WHAT? We're on our first date, and you're talking
} children? Are you out of your mind? Oracle or not!
}
} TO: So, you didn't decide on 'Paul', 'Elliot', 'Tony', and
} 'Jessica' then?
}
} YFS: (blushes) .... shall we order the wine?
}
} TO: Of course. Waiter, what would you recommend?
}
} Waiter: I'd recommend the Chateau Rothschild '72.
}
} TO: Perhaps you would. But, personally I would have been
} a bit more careful than the Rothschilds about letting
} recently fired workers depart through the vinery with a
} full bladder than the Rothschilds myself.
}
} YFS: (green) ..... I think I'll just have a mineral
} water.
}
} Waiter: Of course. We have Perrier, or Evian.
}
} TO: Either choice has a ...
}
} YFS: STOP! STOP! Don't say anything, just let me drink the
} water in ignorance.
}
} TO: All right. Nice dress.
}
} YFS: Oh, this old thing? I just threw it on.
}
} TO: After spending all saturday searching for just the right
} dress at all the boutiques, non?
}
} YFS: ... I might have ...
}
} TO: And you had no fewer than three of your best friends
} along to help you.
}
} YFS: ... I might have ...
}
} TO: And you flew one of these friends in from the East
} Coast especially.
}
} YFS: ... I might have ...
}
} TO: And all three of these friends are listening into
} this conversation right now and giving you advice via that tiny
} earphone you're wearing.
}
} YFS: ... They might be ...
}
} TO: And you really wanted to go on a date with me?
}
} YFS: ........ I'm starting to see your point. But, what woman
} could resist a date with the Internet Oracle?
}
} TO: Chastity Bono?
}
} YFS: Surely not even her.
}
} TO: What? And give up the date she's on with Lisa?
}
} YFS: You know, you're right. This is the very worst date I've
} ever been on. I can't tell you about myself. I can't impress
} you. I can't eat food or drink without being told what human
} byproducts might be in the food. I've been completely
} humiliated. The only good thing is that this date can't
} possibly get any worse.
}
} TO: (raises eyebrows)
}
} Waiter: Your check, Sir.
}
} TO: Young supplicant?
}
} YFS: (weary) Yes?
}
} TO: You owe The Oracle ..... (reads scribble on bill) ......
|
![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
