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} Supplicant so lingual, as facility with language varies so greatly and
} widely between people (and of course what with knowing everything it
} makes it hard for me to judge what's hard or not), I present to you
} below a summary of "The Difficult Languages of the World".
}
} 1 - Chinese
}
} Developed by toaist monks who unexpectedly found themselves in the
} wrong country while bound by an oath of silence, this language is
} unique in that it can be spoken without parting the lips. Consisting
} of a seemingly bizzare set of facial spasms (including numerous chin
} movements, hence the name), chinese is unique in having 17 words
} meaning "itchy nose".
}
} 2 - Rushing
}
} Originally a language of nomadic horsemen of the steppes, rushing
} requires abnormal vocal dexterity. While it does in theory allow
} a speaker to express any sentiment in no more time than it takes two
} galloping horses to pass each other, even those for whom it is a native
} tongue never manage much more than "whoahhelpicantstopthisthing".
}
} 3 - French
}
} A real challenge for even the most enthusiastic linguist, this language
} is not in and of itself abnormally hard to learn. However, to affect
} a good accent the speaker must have two tongues in his/her mouth.
}
} 4 - Germane
}
} The most closely related to COBOL of all natural languages, germane
} contains no adjectives, adverbs, pronouns, participles or emotive
} terms. In fact, it contains nothing that's not an absolute necessity.
} Hence while the language can be learned in its entirety in half an
} hour, working out how to ask the time can take longer than making
} yourself an accurate cuckoo clock.
}
} 5 - American
}
} Easy for an English speaker to understand being superficially identical
} to regular English, although about one word in twenty is substituted
} for a random other word. The challenge is in working out the written
} form of the language, for which one must develop atrocious spelling.
} Or is that atroshus ?
}
} 6 - Undu
}
} Popular throughout the subcontinent, this ancient (and some say
} divine) language has unique grammatical rules permitting the speaker
} to revoke what's been said partway through a sentence and start over.
} The memory a listener requires when talking to an indecisive person
} in undu is nothing short of phenomenal.
}
} 7 - Grovel
}
} A lesser-known language of ancient Greece, this tongue is practiced
} only a supplicants of the Usenet Oracle these days, and then generally
} with only very poor fluency. Beginners in this language tend to look
} a little scorched, although why remains a mystery (ahem).
}
}
} Once you have mastered these seven languages, grasshopper, your feet
} will truly be on the path to eyebrow-twitch-wigglenose.
}
} You owe the Oracle an essay in assyrian, a speech in esperanto and
} a question in ROT-13.
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