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} .>> Time Management -- A Brief History <<.
}
} Back at the dawn of human civilization Time Management
} was easy. They had but one unit of time. The Day.
}
} [ A cave in what is now southern Germany. A huge browed
} man steps out of the cave and shakes a spiky club at
} the dawn on the eastern horizon. ]
}
} Og: SUN UP!
}
} [ From inside a female voice is heard. ]
}
} Ogwa: Go kill Mam-OTH. Back sun down.
}
} Og: Og look sun! Back sun down.
}
} .>>--<<.
}
} Then the Babylonians went and invented months and years
} and hours and minutes and the long forgotten splortple.
} No longer could just anyone manage time. A priestly
} class evolved.
}
} [ High atop a ziggurat sits a blue squat temple in it
} sit two very high priests. ]
}
} EonD'AViZ: Dude, this is some good bud. Oh wow, look
} at the calendar. Tomorrow we gotta go out
} and tell those grubby peasants to plant
} more squash.
}
} ArkM'ages: Dude.
}
} .>>--<<.
}
} Time marched on, managed all the while, especially by
} the Romans that whipped time into submission with calends
} and ides and drips of water and dropping sands. And all
} was good. But with the Dark Ages time got loose and ran
} rampant for who knows how long, for time had gone feral,
} expect for small domestic bits of time keep in monasteries
} by tonsured monks.
}
} [ A dreary, muddy, festering medieval village market. A
} smelly peasant is trying to sell a young monk a goat's
} head on a stick. ]
}
} Monk: Yuck. How long has ye goat been dead?
}
} Peasant: Every since it's head fell off.
}
} Monk; True, but say when did that happen?
}
} Peasant: When it died.
}
} Monk: Verily, but did that happen yesterday, or last
} fortnight, or two months ago or what?
}
} Peasant: When I struck it with yon axe.
}
} Monk: Give me strength!
}
} .>>--<<.
}
} It wasn't until The Industrial Revolution that time was
} brought back into line.
}
} [ A slum in what is now southern England. A huge browed
} man steps out of his hovel and shakes a hairy fist at
} howling factory whistle in the distance. ]
}
} Mr. O'G: My shift it be a startin'.
}
} [ From inside a female voice is heard. ]
}
} Ms. O'G: Go to work then already. And don't be a stoppin'
} at the pub on the way home.
}
} Mr. O'G: Aye, I'll be back.
}
} .>>--<<.
}
} Now a days time is divided into nanoseconds and CPU cycles
} and highly valuable prime time and the dreaded down time
} and things have to be done in no time and near black holes
} and at high speeds time gets all kind of elastic like the
} bands at the top of Rosie O'Donnell's sweat pants and only
} highly trained geeks and keep track of it all.
}
} [ A sub-basement in a dreary University in the middle of
} some dull state on the edge of The Great Plains. ]
}
} Admin #1: Dude, check out my desktop countdown clock
} keeping track of the days until "The Two
} Towers" comes out.
}
} Admin #2: Righteous, like but I hacked emacs to show
} that -plus- the Mayan Long Count.
}
} Admin #1: Dude.
}
} .>>--<<.
}
} What will the future hold for time? Only time can tell,
} and it's not talking. Yet.
}
} You owe the Oracle a Felix the Cat wall clock.
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