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} [ The security guard shrugged and returned his attentions to
} the sprinkle donut in his hand. The Oracle strides by, up
} and onto the stage before the waiting Class of 2002. ]
}
} I can't tell you how I feel about being invited here to speak
} before the graduating class of 2002, so instead I shall show
} my deep seated thanks for the lovely Honorary Doctor of
} Queueology award you all gave me early today by keeping this
} speech a few minutes shorter than your attention spans. You
} know, looking out at all your mortar board wearing heads
} it flat out makes me think of why those hats are shaped that
} way, hard-felt graduations indeed. But I digress. You will
} find the world beyond the ivory guard towers of this campus
} to be full of people that differ only from yourselves by the
} fact that they are employed. Soon you'll be one of them. No
} longer will belong to a frat, instead you'll own a cat. No
} longer will you be a grad, you'll find you to your horror
} you're a dad. No longer will you be the queen of the sock
} hops, no, instead you'll be washing socks and downing hops
} in massive quantities, on the sly, during the spin cycle. But,
} wait! There's more. What you have learned during these, on
} the average, 5.3 years will come in handy when you play trivia
} games. Of that you can be sure. So go out there and get'm
} them! Silly hats off to The Class of 2002!
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