} LAMENTATIONS 6
} 1 Oh Supplicant, longing for knowledge and wisdom,
} 2 thy question hath not fallen upon deaf ears,
} 3 for thou hath asked the omni-omniescent oracle,
} 4 the shrine of wisdom and knowledge,
} 5 the source of never-ending enlightenment,
} 6 a fountain of joy and information.
} 7 Thy question shall be answered,
} 8 thy thirst shall be quenched,
} 9 thy wounds shall be healed,
} 10 thy soul shall be nurtured,
} 11 for mine is the knowledge,
} 12 and the wisdom and the power,
} 13 for now and for ever.
} 14 Thou hath not read the bible too much,
} 15 for thou cannot do so,
} 16 for the bible is the book of books,
} 17 the thing of things,
} 18 the holy grail of holiness,
} 19 word of His words,
} 20 knowledge of His knowledge,
} 21 flesh of His flesh,
} 22 blood of His blood
} 23 hair of His Hair,
} 24 dandruff of His dandruff
} 25 Well, let's stop it here...
} 26 Thou hath not read the bible too much,
} 27 for though thou hath mastered the annotation,
} 28 inserting numbers whenever 29 thou 30 pleases 31 so
} 32 But thou hath not learned the language,
} 33 that thou shall use to write,
} 34 for Shakespeare would dye of envy,
} 35 and that text of thine
} 36 hath no footnotes at all,
} 37 for footnotes are important,
} 38 to make thine text illegible
} 39 So go back to your scriptures,
} 40 and continue to read the book of books,
} 41 the thing of things,
} 42 the ho...STOP!
} 43 for thou hath only read one version,
} 44 but thou shall read every version,
} 45 be it New King James or English Standard Version,
} 46 the Amplified Bible or the New International Version,
} 47 thou shall know them all,
} 48 and compare them to each other.
} 49 (Oh, and of course learn them by heart)
} 50 For when thou hath done that, thy quest shall not be over.
} 51 Go forth and learn Latin and Greek, Hebrew and Aramaeic.
} 52 Then thou shall read the original scriptures,
} 53 and compare them to each other.
} 54 Then thou may return and ask the Oracle again,
} 55 for then thou surely hath been reading the bible too much.
} You owe the Oracle a copy of the Qumran scriptures.
}  footnotes: pesky, annoying little inserts that keep you from
} continous reading.
}  Really annoying, aren't they?
}  Sorry, could not resist