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1303, 1303-01, 1303-02, 1303-03, 1303-04, 1303-05, 1303-06, 1303-07, 1303-08, 1303-09, 1303-10

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> what exactly is computer programming and how does it works?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Isn't any wonder than 27 identical questions like the one } above all came from Redmond, Washington?

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle Most Wise, > > Frogs !

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} An intriguing hypothesis! However, you fail to take the snakes, } slamanders, turtles, newts and various insects into account. Also, } an *exclamation point*? Seriously, do you really think that'll work? } Come back when you've taken care of these problems. } } You owe the Oracle some of whatever it is you're smoking.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Hmm... I wonder what would happen if I rubbed this old lamp. Lessee... > *rubs*

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No! NO! } } Ewwww. } } [ Lamp laughs. ] } } The 'smartest' thing those pervert old lamps ever did was getting } everyone to believe in genies. } } You owe the Oracle a mop.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle the vault of heaven overhead is more finite than your wisdom, > > How can I tell art from traffic signs?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Violate or ignore the art.  If a cop gives you a ticket, it was } probably a traffic sign. } } You owe the Oracle a question requiring a bit more imagination.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Wisest Oracle, > > How does a white car differ from some smoke on the horizon?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} A white car is very different from some smoke on the horizon because } it is a clearly defined shape moving in a rather predetermined } path which is established by either paved road or dirt two track } out in the country.  Now the only known exception to this is a Mr. } Barnes who owns a 70's era Chevy pickup that is in a bad need of a } new head gasket.  This bondo grey and primer white pickup spends } most of its time off road, billowing massive plumes of smoke and } going every which way because Mr. Barnes never drives without his } home made whiskey.  So now you know that most white cars do not look } or behave like clouds unless it is } } A) producing one of its own, and/or } } B) its driver is in one

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> This is a multi-part message in MIME format. > > ------=_NextPart_000_007D_01C2B7B9.0A6CF220 > Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" > Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit > > Why do most of the women that I know hate Britney Spears? > > ------=_NextPart_000_007D_01C2B7B9.0A6CF220 > Content-Type: application/ms-tnef; name="winmail.dat" > Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64 > Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="winmail.dat" > > eJ8+IgkOAQaQCAAEAAAAAAABAAEAAQeQBgAIAAAA5AQAAAAAAADoAAEIgAcAGAAAAElQTS5N > AAAAFAAAAE9yYWNsZSB0ZWxsIG1lIHRoaXMAAgFxAAEAAAAWAAAAAcK361PjqataTiMIEdez > CDjQ3gAAAgEdDAEAAAATAAAAU01UUDpCLVJZQU5AVEkuQ09NAAALAAEOAAAAAEAABg4AmJJP > AQIBCg4BAAAAGAAAAAAAAABfpwMHwNzUEbMyAGAIONDewoAAAAsAHw4BAAAAAwAGELU9yBwD > LgAAAB4ACBABAAAALwAAAFdIWURPTU9TVE9GVEhFV09NRU5USEFUSUtOT1dIQVRFQlJJVE5F > RUFSUz8AAAIBCRABAAAAvgAAALoAAAABAQAATFpGdZMS6r4DAAoAcmNwZzEyNRYyAPgLYG4O > M08B9wKkBGQCAGNoCsBz8GV0MCAIVQKDAFAD1ZsHEwKAfQqACMggOwlvljACgAqBdgiQd2sL > > ------=_NextPart_000_007D_01C2B7B9.0A6CF220--

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} > ------=_NextPart_000_007D_01C2B7B9.0A6CF220 } > Content-Type: application/ms-tnef; name="winmail.dat" } > Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64 } > Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="winmail.dat" } > } > 8888   M::::::::::::::M88888888888::::::MM888888888888888    88888 } >  888   M:::::::::::::M8888888888888M:::::mM888888888888888    8888 } >   888  M::::::::::::M8888:888888888888::::m::Mm88888 888888   8888 } >    88  M::::::::::::8888:88888888888888888::::::Mm8   88888   888 } >    88  M::::::::::8888M::88888::888888888888:::::::Mm88888    88 } >    8   MM::::::::8888M:::8888:::::888888888888::::::::Mm8     4 } >        8M:::::::8888M:::::888:::::::88:::8888888::::::::Mm    2 } >       88MM:::::8888M:::::::88::::::::8:::::888888:::M:::::M } >      8888M:::::888MM::::::::8:::::::::::M::::8888::::M::::M } >     88888M:::::88:M::::::::::8:::::::::::M:::8888::::::M::M } >    88 888MM:::888:M:::::::::::::::::::::::M:8888:::::::::M: } >    8 88888M:::88::M:::::::::::::::::::::::MM:88::::::::::::M } >      88888M:::88::M:::::::::##################################### } >     888888M:::88::M:::::::::##################################### } >     888888MM::88::MM::::::::##################################### } >     88888  M:::8::MM::::::::##################################### } >     8888   MM::::::MM:::::::##################################### } >      888    M:::::::MM::::::##################################### } >      888    MM:::::::MMM::::::::::::::::MM:::MM:::::::::::::::M } >       88     M::::::::MMMM:::::::::::MMMM:::::MM::::::::::::MM } >       88    MM:::::::::MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM::::::::MMM::::::::MMM } >         88    MM::::::::::::MMMMMMM::::::::::::::MMMMMMMMMM } >          88   8MM::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MMMMMM } >           8   88MM::::::::::::::::::::::M:::M::::::::MM } > } > ------=_NextPart_000_007D_01C2B7B9.0A6CF220--

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Love Grows (Where My Oracle Goes) > by Edison Lisa

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} He's got lotsa money } His clothes are kinda funny } He ZOTs marmots endlessly } Oh, and love grows where my Oracle goes } And nobody knows like me } } He types kinda lazy } And people say he's crazy } And his life's a mystery } Oh, but love grows where my Oracle goes } And nobody knows like me } } There's something about his hand holding mine } It's a feeling that's fine } And I just gotta say } He's really got a magical staff } And it's working not half- } Bad, so I can't get away } } I'm a lucky lady } The Marchioness de Sadie } And I love him endlessly } Because love grows where my Oracle goes } And nobody knows like me

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Hey, how does this damned thing work?  THUMP THUMP THUMP > Isn't there supposed to be an answer coming out of here > somewhere?  THUMP WHAMMM THUDDDDD

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} NY City (TIO-News) Madam Cleo, famous US psychic was roughed up } Friday by a drunken man who seemed to have mistaken her for a fortune } telling mannequin. "I and I was like a tellin' him. No need for the } Rough Stuff. No need, but warn't a listenin', " said Ms. Cleo who } is in legal trouble over her televised claims of physic ability. } "I didn't see this a comin'," sighed Ms. Cleo.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Wise and Brave Oracle, I have read every digest and am blue on days >  that there is not a new one, I would be tickled pink if you would >  answer this for be; > >  What do the colors that are beyond the range that >  humans can detect look like?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Andy Worhol paintings. } } You owe the Oracle some ultra-fucia boxer shorts.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> askme -nomime -nosigs -no_lotr_questions

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} dumpqueue -woodchuck -null -earwax -goat -tim_chew_hair -flowersgone } -haiku -lemur