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The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> (void *)'\0'

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Didn't you see the sign?  It said } }    VOID WHERE PROHIBITED } } Don't tell me you can't C.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Oracle most hugely successful & enormously smart, > >  I need help with my personal ad. Could you give >  me some hints of what to say and what not?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Good things         Bad things } -----------------   ------------------- } Slender             Chubby } Charming            Congenital liar } Tall                Short } Good dancer         Physically inept } Caring              Sex maniac } Good singer         Sing Sing resident } Track star          Needle track star } Battle veteran      Bottle veteran } Oracular mind       Obeys anonymous advice

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O Oracle of Questionable Intelligence and Wisdom, > > Think about this: somewhere, there is a very fat and very naked hairy > man jumping up and down in the shower singing a country song. > > Now why do you continue to be omniscient?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Do you have something against country music?! } } You still owe the Oracle some headache pills, though.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > Should everyone be their own city?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} It seems to work OK for Gary, Indiana, Page, Arizona, and Holly, } Michigan.  Captain Cook, Hawaii, does alright.  St. Louis, Missouri, } and St.  Paul, Minnesota, don't seem to mind, and King of Prussia, } Pennsylvania, is happy to be alive. } } Of course, Lincoln, Nebraska, Garfield, Georgia, Coolidge, Arizona, } and Washington, DC, have all earned the respect of their peers. } } Tuba City, Arizona, Wapakoneta, Ohio, and Truth or Consequences, } New Mexico got teased in grade school a lot.  Flushing, New York is } a different story. } } You'll know my answer, though, when you drive North out of Tucson, } Arizona, on highway 77 and reach the town of Oracle.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Gossip about hedgehogs?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Dolphins on crack. } } ______ } Get free English-Spy translation at babelfish.altavista.com  Reverse } translation $50/word. } } You owe the Oracle $150.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Help.  I am a lysdexic person.  I went to pay my taxes in New > Jersey, got in my car and drove.  And drove, and drove.  Now > I find myself in Texas!  Are there taxes in Texas?  Do I pay > here or return home?  Would Cafilornia be better?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oh no, not again. Look if you're going to make fun of dyslexic } people you still have to get the e-mail address correct. } } You owe Fred Ocarle some peace and quiet.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh comforting Oracle, > > This is a heavy-duty challenge for you. I'm feeling sad about the loss > of the space shuttle Columbia, and I need cheering up. Can you help me > get my mind off it without being tasteless? (I heard all the Challenger > jokes back when that happened, and none of them were funny.)

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Oracle empathizes with you and admits that it also has } similar feelings.  The best advice it can offer is to share these } feelings with others near and dear to you. Shared sadness is } almost always diminished.  The Oracle wishes to remind you } that "This Too, Shall Pass".  We all must continue with our lives. } } You owe the Oracle nothing. } } This incarnation wishes to express condolences to the family of } the seven souls on-board the shuttle.  They are in the thoughts } and prayers of this incarnation.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Great and Frosted Oracle, I grovel before you on creaky knee > and busted harp.  I was going to play the strains of "Orrie > Has No Brains At All" (in which the unfolding lyrics explain that > a mere mortal brain is simply not sufficient to contain a complex > Omniscience such as yours), but the harp strings broke, and now > instead of TWANG TWANG TWANG the harp plays FALOOP FALOPP FALOOP. > It's enough to make a groan groveller grey. > > Oh well ... > > It's an Irish harp.  Do I have to go to Ireland to get new strings? > > Oh, and while I'm in Ireland, what do you want me to get for you?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, if you look under the left bottom corner of the harp, you'll } notice it says "Made in China" So, you can get strings right around } the corner. } } Since you're not going to Ireland anymore, you can send me the plane } tickets.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What's with them gecko balboa pills my brother takes > them what do they do?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oh, yes!  Rather new on the market, I think.  The pills purport } to increase ones IQ score by transferring intelligence from a } family member to the user. } } Looks like they work, too! } } You owe the Oracle a rendition of "Daisy".

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Do you have any soy sauce to spare?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No soy sauce.  Soy oracle. } Usted es muy estupido si esto se confusa.