} You know, when you're asking "Who is that guy in the mirror?" it
} is time to get to know yourself better. To help in that regard
} the Oracle offers the following:
} -- The Get to Know Thyself Quick Quiz --
} 1) Which of the following days, in your opinion, is most important?
} a - April Fool's
} b - Election Day
} c - July 4th, 1947
} d - pay day
} e - St. Darwin Day
} 2) If your home caught on fire which of the following would you
} try to save first?
} a - box of cereal
} b - computer
} c - your photos of chupacabra
} d - your life
} e - camera so you take take pics of the event
} 3) Where would you like to spend a vacation?
} a - Anywhere in California
} b - Washington DC
} c - Loch Ness
} d - Finland
} e - morgue
} 4) What are you wearing right now?
} a - shorts, tee-shirt with cute saying on it
} b - white button down collar shirt, tie
} c - fatigues
} d - black tee shirt, Levi's
} e - saran wrap
} 5) Which animal would you most like to be reincarnated as?
} a - loon
} b - bee
} c - yeti
} d - camel
} e - great white shark
} 6) Which of these are you -least- comfortable with in a work
} a - policies against surfing at work
} b - wishy-washy bosses
} c - those secret cameras in the rest rooms
} d - incompetence
} e - rules
} 7) If things don't go your way how do you react?
} a - whine
} b - add names to your enemies list
} c - point fingers
} d - take a break, come back to problem later
} e - single slug to back of the head
} 8) The last time you used the word 'love' what were you
} a - yourself
} b - your country
} c - Big Brother
} d - tennis
} e - backwards homophones
} 9) If you could read only one newsgroup and were restricted to
} one of the below, which would you pick?
} a - rec.humor.oracle.d
} b - talk.politics.misc
} c - alt.conspiracy
} d - comp.lang.perl.misc
} e - alt.tasteless
} 10) Who would you like to meet the most?
} a - Lisa
} b - Putin
} c - A Grey
} d - Torvalds
} e - Manson, Charles or Marilyn, either one. . .
} Tally up your answers:
} If you mostly answered 'a' then:
} You have a tenuous grasp on reality, the problem
} is that you're aware of this and consider it a
} strength. They have medications for this now a days.
} If you mostly answered 'b' then:
} You like to be in the know and are keenly aware
} of your surroundings, unfortunately you blend into
} the surroundings. Go to the video store and rent
} some films you've never heard of.
} If you mostly answered 'c' then:
} We know where you live. Stop. Await further orders.
} If you mostly answered 'd' then:
} You are logical and very smart, you need to go
} outside every now and then when the sun is up
} and/or start drinking lots of milk.
} If you mostly answered 'e' then:
} You are the type of person your mother warned you
} about, you're lots of fun at a party until the drinks
} run out, then things can get ugly. Try and find a
} legal hobby.
} You owe the Oracle an air tight alibi and a seal.