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} EXPERIMENT #383
} Conducted 2003-09-10 by The Usenet Oracle, Zadoc, and
} Lisa (Motivational support)
}
} HOW MUCH RAIN A TRAIN MADE OUT OF WOODCHUCK BRAIN CAN
} SUSTAIN
}
} THE OBJECTIVE:
} To analyze how much rain a train can sustain if the
} train is made from woodchuck brain. The train is
} considered as not not being able to sustain any more
} rain after it has decomposed to an extent where it is
} no longer useful as a train.
}
} THE MATERIAL:
} The Train:
} The train is a classic toy style __ ___ _______
} train (model choo-choo) with a ||__|#| ___ |[][][|
} locomotive, a coal wagon, and a {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} passenger wagon. Four separate /oooo OO O O O O O
} trains were built, so that the
} experiment could be conducted
} with a variety of rains.
}
} The Brain:
} The brain is collected from a ..
} total of 274 woodchucks, capable .###.
} of chucking 473 pieces of wood *####
} altogether. **
}
} The rain: |^|
} The rain was dispensed from four | |
} separate showers in the shower |*|
} room at the local football arena. |_|
}
} We decided to test the effects of a variety of different rains
} to observe the different reactions. We used the following:
}
} Plain water
} Lye
} Sulfuric acid
} Phenol
}
} THE EXPERIMENT:
}
} __ ___ _______ __ ___ _______
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][| ||__|#| ___ |[][][|
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_| {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O /oooo OO O O O O O
} WATER LYE
}
}
} __ ___ _______ __ ___ _______
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][| ||__|#| ___ |[][][|
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_| {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O /oooo OO O O O O O
} SULFURIC ACID PHENOL
}
} We labeled the trains to show what kind of rain they are
} sustaining. In this picture, the showers have just been
} started, but no reaction has yet been observed.
}
} __ ___ _______ _. _._ ,_.____
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][| ||_.|=| _._ |[][](|
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_| (|_|_|_|.|_.|.|__||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O /oooo OO O O O O O
} WATER LYE
}
} "" ""
} __ ,__ _______ _" __ " " _____
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][| /|__|#\ ___ /[][][\
} {|_|_|_|.|__i.|__||_| /|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O .oooo OO O O O O O
} SULFURIC ACID PHENOL
}
} Thirty seconds of rain and the following has happened:
} *Nothing special with train A (Water)
} *The surface of train B (Lye) is crumpling and oozing in
} a icky way.
} *Not much unusual can be seen at train C (H2SO4), but
} Zadoc reports that it is quite hot to the touch.
} *Train D (Phenol) is getting slightly deformed, and
} emanates a faint smoke.
}
} __ ___ _______ , . , ,_ _, .
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][| |._ |-| . |[-[].|
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_| ,|_|=|_|.|_-|.|-_||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O /oooo OO O O O O O
} WATER LYE
} ##
} ## ## # ## # ** "* **
} # # ## # # # * " *"** "
} --#_/+\ __# ------| __/\"" " * ,--.
} ,|_|_|_|./__,.|#=||=| /,_,_\.,==../_-||\
} /oooo OO O O O O O .ooo OO O . O O .
} SULFURIC ACID PHENOL
}
} After sixty seconds of rain the following observations
} were made:
} *Train A is still sustaining the rain.
} *The surface of Train B is now boiling as the rain eats
} its way down through it.
} *Train C has started to smoke fiercly, as well as slowly
} melting.
} *Train D is now very deformed, and the smoke is getting
} thicker.
}
} __ ___ _______
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][| . , _ , ., ,. ,
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_| |:,..,;-.,,-:.-,,:_.
} /oooo OO O O O O O ,..oo ;O O . O . O
} WATER # LYE
} # #### ## ### ##
} #### ##### ## ## # "## "*# ##
} # # ### ## ## # # # *" #*##" *
} # # # ### ### ## * ** * *
} #.##/=\.====.====== ___* "" "__"
} /oooo OO O O O O O /_ .\ .-.."/.,.\
} SULFURIC ACID PHENOL
}
} The status after 90 seconds:
} *Nothing has happened to train A.
} *Train B is now a writhing, putrid mass of something.
} *Train C smokes immensly, still melting down.
} *Train D has been reduced to a few lumps of woodchuck
} brain.
}
} We decided that Train B and Train D no longer were useful
} as trains, and thus could not sustain more than 90
} seconds of rain.
}
} __ ___ _______
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][|
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O
} WATER
}
}
}
}
} . . . _ . _ _. . .
} SULFURIC ACID
}
} After 120 seconds of rain, Train C was also unable to
} sustain more. Still no reaction on Train A.
}
} __ ___ _______
} ||__|#| ___ |[][][|
} {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} /oooo OO O O O O O
} WATER
}
} After 24 hours of rain and still no reaction on Train A,
} we decided that Train A could sustain a Very Long (tm)
} time of rain.
}
} CONCLUSION:
} To answer your question, supplicant, it is difficult to
} give an answer because, as above experiment showed, the
} amount of rain the train can sustain very much depends
} on what kind of rain it is. Therefore, we do not
} recommend you to attempt to travel with a train made out
} of woodchuck brain if the weather forecasts any lye
} rains in the near future.
}
} You owe the Oracle a way to dispose of all the woodchuck
} corpses.
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