} Dear Supplicant,
} Do you like show tunes? Gilbert and Sullivan, maybe?
} Do you see a homosex conspiracy everywhere you look?
}
} To the tune of "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
}
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
} On radio, the movies, and especially on the TV.
} He gets all the allusions that are made about his testicles.
} He's jealous of the Nellies who are emptying their vesicles.
} His mind: it never takes a break, it's never on sabbatical.
} And he can see neuroses that are unseen by the practical.
} When he is with a girl, he always wonders why the others
} stare...
} He says he's not neurotic: just obsessed with being self-aware.
}
} Chorus:
} He says he's not neurotic: just obsessed with being self-aware.
} He says he's not neurotic: just obsessed with being self-aware.
} He says he's not neurotic: just obsessed with being self-aware.
}
} He's very good at understanding hidden things surrounding us.
} He's such a friend that he'll horn in, revealing what's
} confounding us.
} In short, in all the media, especially on the TV,
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
}
} Chorus:
} In short, in all the media, especially on the TV,
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
}
} He claims if he speaks out that the Authorities will lock him up.
} But secretly he longs for some butch cop to beat and knock him up.
} He can quote the "whats" and "whys" of matters psychological.
} And points out to all others their psychoses pathological.
}
} He can spot the closet queens with gaydar unassailable.
} But says for their intentions he's completely unavailable.
} Then he'll get into aliens, and government economy,
} The Templar Knights, the Masons, then it's all Mayan astronomy.
}
} Chorus:
} The Templar Knights, the Masons, then it's all Mayan astronomy.
} The Templar Knights, the Masons, then it's all Mayan astronomy.
} The Templar Knights, the Masons, then it's all Mayan astronomy.
}
} He'll turn up in strange bars and diners, manic in the dead of
} night.
} And in angry froth and foam he'll rant about our gender-plight.
} In short, in all the media, especially on the TV,
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
}
} Chorus:
} In short, in all the media, especially on the TV,
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
}
} He knows what is meant by "pederasty", and by "Babylon".
} And if things are tough at home, he'll pack his bags and travel
} on.
} He'll reappear with a new job: a pie to stick his finger in.
} And tell strange tales of strange affairs in places strange to
} linger in.
} He will saliently describe his new-found personality,
} And castigate all those he knows: immersed in their banality.
} In short, he's got a hang-up and he's constantly denying it.
} But I sure wouldn't be surprised the day he ends up trying it.
}
} Chorus:
} But I sure wouldn't be surprised the day he ends up trying it.
} But I sure wouldn't be surprised the day he ends up trying it.
} But I sure wouldn't be surprised the day he ends up trying it.
}
} For all of his self knowledge, (and he is quite intellectual)
} I guess I could be very wrong and he's not homosexual.
} But still, in all the media, especially on the TV,
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
}
} Chorus:
} But still, in all the media, especially on the TV,
} Everywhere he looks he sees a Homosex Conspiracy.
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