1386-03 (2fe81 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: "Alyce Wilson" <alycewilson@lycos.com>
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
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> Great and Majestic Oracle, you are even better than most
> omniscient beings. They know everything that's true, but
> you even know stuff that ISN'T true! For instance, you can
> understand what my grandmother meant when she said, "Cleanth
> is next to Goth."
>
> We always thought it was her way of telling us that Cleanliness
> is next to Godliness, until I happened upon her old World
> Atlas, with a bookmark on the page for the country of Pullova,
> next to Freezebottom in the Bosnian Alps. THERE THEY WERE on
> the page, the two towns Clenth and Goth, not at all far from
> each other.
>
> Please explain all the history related to these towns, including
> the scoop on how my grandmother (now finally dead) knew about
> them when she was born in Alton, Illinois, which is about as
> far from the Bosnian Alps as one can get while remaining sane.
> Oh, and did the Goths of ancient sacking-Rome history come from
> Goth, or vice-versa?
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And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
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} I'm afraid you misunderstood.
}
} "Cleanth" is a lifestyle from the early 20th century. A
} counter-culture to the Flappers of the Roaring 20s. While most of
} America was "living it up", having fun, and disregarding authority, the
} Cleanths were all about keeping quiet and clean, wearing bland colors,
} and behaving themselves. Over the years, the Cleanth movement became
} less popular, but more depressing for those who followed it. One
} Cleanth visionary in the late 1970s, Robert Smith ("Cleanths" were
} known to choose their own names; the more boring and uninteresting, the
} better), decided that enough was enough, and began a search for a Cure.
} However, his musical appeals to the Cleanth community not only went
} unanswered, but misunderstood. The Cleanths, once standing for "Clean
} and Quiet", were suddenly stirred into a call for action to change
} things. Thus, the "Goeth" movement was born (and foreshortened to
} "Goth"). However, the newly-formed Goths were unfortunately far too
} depressed to back up their new platform. So the only way they could
} find to make the world a better place, was to wear more black and
} obsess over the inevitability of death.
}
} Thus, your grandmother was saying that she was once a Cleanth, but
} realized the error of her ways 30 years ago and joined normal society.
}
} "Cleanth is next to Goth" is a warning. Heed not this lifestyle.
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