|
} A lot of effort in that question there.
}
} And now I bet you expect a 240 line funny reply.
}
} Sure I'll do.
}
} Because I'm bored.
}
} Enjoy.
}
} ========================================================
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:31 -0200
} From: Captain Hook <chook@aqua.net>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularities Digest #4377
}
} Yar Har! To be finding out all about the Internet Pirate Oracle,
} including how to be participating, send an email via email to
} oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "Avast" for a subject line.
}
} Name yer Poison! Be sending ratings of these har' Oracularities
} on an integer scale of 5 ("very salty") to 5 ("not salty enough")
} with the volume number to oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu For example:
} 4301
} 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5
}
} 4376 * votes 0000* 0000* 0000* 0000* 0000* 0000* 0000* 0000* 0000*
} 4376 >5 ave 5.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 5.0 5.0
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:32 -0200
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-01
}
} Selected-By: "Neptuna" <blightred@fishyscent.com>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Shiver me timbers Orrie!
} >
} > My parrot is it a sleeping or what?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } `Taint no ordinary parrot on yer shoulder thar mate,
} } `tis another head you be sporting, that'll cure ya
} ) of tryin' to cheat a sassy sea witch it will. Soon
} } it'll awaken and you'll be finding yerself a hankering
} } saltines and fouling the poopdeck and any statuary
} } you see.
} }
} } You owe a feather bed.
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:34 -0200
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-02
}
} Selected-By: "Manandtea" <uglystew@tress.com>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Ahoy me chippie,
} >
} > Do I really need to constantly update every time
} > a new eye patch comes out? None of them ever help
} > me see any better anyway.
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } Next time yer in port have that Swedish talking
} } Finn, you know the guy that sounds like a penguin,
} } make you a glass eye. They're a ball of fun in that
} } you can pop it out at strategic moments for a cheap
} } laugh or a dear thrill as the occasion merits.
} }
} } You be owing me a pair of def locs.
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 20 July 05 43:43:21 -2400
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-03
}
} Selected-By: "Herr Chew" <matted@messyhair.net>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Land a Ho, `tis the wise Oracle!
} >
} > I got me an odd doubloon from some desert land
} > and it shows a two headed lass on it. Is it rare?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } Bit into it and see if it's pink inside.
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:34 -0200
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-04
}
} Selected-By: "K Riggin" <loseit@usit.net>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Schooner?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } God's wounds! I hardly even knew the lass.
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Fri, 04 Feb 2000 21:51:28 GMT
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-05
}
} Selected-By: "Dark Beard" <clairol@greyout.au>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Yar! Most sea-worthy Oracle;
} >
} > I got me a hook! Way cool it is, just like me-self!
} > I am a pirate's pirate now! What should I do next?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } Stop patting yourself on the back.
} }
} } You be owing some Kevlar.
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:37 -0200
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-07
}
} Selected-By: "What Ales" <hick@rumland.ru>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Are both The Oracle and Anastasia going to be dumped in
} > an unmarked pit to make room for a proletarian paradise?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } Hardly. We'll have no truck with communist plots here.
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:37 -0200
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-08
}
} Selected-By: "nemo" <nobody@seethelatinword.it>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > Gadzooks, wise One answer me this,
} >
} > What do ya think of Disney's "The Pirates of the Caribbean"?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } Back in my day the only thing that swished was our
} } fore-sails in the wind.
} }
} } You owe the Oracle a DVD of "The Ninth Gate".
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 13 July 05 12:34:37 -0200
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-09
}
} Selected-By: "Squish Mail" <richard@grandeblanco.mx>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > How many planks could a wood wright plane if
} > wood rot would rot a wright's plain planed wood?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } Argh, not that plankety-plank ol' saw again!
}
} ------------------------------
} Date: Wed, 27 July 05 12:34:38 -0000
} From: Internet Pirate Oracle <oracle-boat@cs.indiana.edu>
} Subject: Internet Pirate Oracularity #4377-10
}
} Selected-By: "yellow pinkie" <greal@mcill.ah>
}
} The Internet Pirate Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > I was standing watch on deck and it occurred to me
} > that it was as if I was on a stage and all the sea
} > was my audience. Didn't Shakespeare say that, sortof?
} > Can I sue him?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } [ In the background sits Lisa dressed as Titania, Orrie
} } as Oberon, and Zadoc with the head of an ass stuck to
} } his head. Zadoc is flopping about trying to get the ass
} } head off of his. Kendai, dressed as Puck, drops a tube of
} } SuperGlue near Zadoc and steps forward. ]
} }
} } If we characters have offended,
} } Resubmit this, and all is mended,
} } You that have put an oblique tellme here
} } While these answers did appear.
} } Read this sleek and ribald theme,
} } No more yielding a moist Lisa dream,
} }
} } [ Oracle gives a warning cough, Kendai starts noticeably ]
} }
} } Supplicants, do not reprehend:
} } if you email us, a response we send:
} } And, as if I give an honest Puck,
} }
} } [ Oracle begins to tap his foot on the stage, loudly ]
} }
} } If Your Reply through unearned luck,
} } don't some how big time major suck...
} }
} } [ Oracle nods to off stage personnel, curtain starts to
} } lower ]
} }
} } So, good digestion unto you all.
} } You owe the Oracle a globe, a stage, a curtain call!
} }
} } [ House lights come up ]
}
} ====| EOF #4377 |====
|
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