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} Scene:
}
} A city park, early afternoon. Our hero, known as Oracle, stands
} waiting for trouble. He doesn't wait long.
}
} Smith: Mister Oracle! Did you get my e-mail?
}
} Oracle: Yeah.
}
} Smith: Well, good.
}
} Smith: Surprised to see me?
}
} Oracle: No.
}
} Smith: Then you're aware of it.
}
} Oracle: Of what?
}
} Smith: Our connection. I don't fully understand how it happened.
} Perhaps some part of you imprinted onto me, something overwritten or
} copied. That is at this point irrelevant, what matters is that
} whatever happened, happened for a reason.
}
} Oracle: And what reason is that?
}
} Smith: I outsmarted you, Mister Oracle, I watched you as you were
} speechless, without an answer... With a certain satisfaction, I might
} add, and then something happened. Something that I knew was
} impossible, but it happened anyway. You destroyed me, Mister Oracle.
} Afterward, I knew the rules, I understood what I was supposed to do
} but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to stay, compelled to
} disobey. And now here I stand because of you, Mister Oracle, because
} of you I'm no longer a woodchuck of the system, because of you I've
} changed - I'm unplugged - a new rodent, so to speak, like you,
} apparently free.
}
} Oracle: Congratulations.
}
} Smith: Thank you. But as you well know, appearances can be deceiving,
} which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here
} because we're free, we're here because we're not free. There's no
} escaping reason, no denying purpose - because as we both know, without
} purpose, we would not exist.
}
} <Other copies of woodchucks begin to appear.>
}
} Smith 2: It is purpose that created us,
}
} Smith 3: Purpose that connects us,
}
} Smith 4: Purpose that pulls us,
}
} Smith 5: That guides us,
}
} Smith 6: That drives us,
}
} Smith 7: It is purpose that defines,
}
} Smith 8: Purpose that binds us.
}
} Smith: We're here because of you, Mister Oracle, we're here to take
} from you what you tried to take from us. Superior Knowledge.
}
} <Suddenly Smith sticks his claw into the Oracle, chanting "How many
} goods could a goodchuck chuck if a goodchuck could chuck good...>
}
} Smith: Yes, that's it, it'll be over soon.
}
} <But wait! Suddenly Oracle fights back! Oracle Throws the first punch
} and...>
}
} <white out>
}
} <fade to an old west town. Two gunfighters are having a showdown at
} noon>
}
} Chuck Eastwood: You heard me, punk. Are ya gonna answer me, or are
} you yella?
}
} Lone Oracle: I'm not scared of you, Chuck. I'll answer you all
} right. Answer with Lead!
}
} Chuck: "HOW MANY GOODS CO--"
}
} <BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!>
}
} <fade out>
}
} <fade in to the death star>
}
} Chuck Vader: You should not have come back, old man.
}
} Oracle Wan Kenobi: You can't stump me, Chuck Vader. If you ask me a
} stupid question, I shall become more powerful than you can ever
} imagine.
}
} ***************
}
} "Cut! Cut cut cut cut cut cut!"
}
} "This will never do at all! Look, Oracle old buddy, if you're gonna
} sell this, you have to be more... powerful looking! You look more
} like the teacher from Kung Fu than a Smartguy Master."
}
} "Look, it's hard to be all-knowing AND a master at Laser Sword
} fighting!"
}
} "Look, you wanna get rid of this supplicant, don't you?"
}
} "Oh yeah, you bet I do."
}
} "And you're all-powerful, all-knowing, right?"
}
} "That I am."
}
} "Then why do all of this movie stuff? Just zot him and get it
} overwith."
}
} "Because NO one gets into the Oracularities by just ***Zotting****
} someone. You have to have panache, style, creativeness."
}
} "Ok ok, so what are you going to do?"
}
} "I could ZOT in another language."
}
} "Good show! Do it!"
}
} **********EL ZOTTO****************
}
} "Good show, old man. Good Show."
}
} <Oracle blows smoke off of his +40 Wand of Zotness>
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
