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} Oracle: Zadoc? Oh, he's still around, just not talking much. Hoi! Zadoc!
}
} Zadoc: Yes, oh Mysterious Knower of Complicated Physics Formulas That
} Would Boggle The Mind of Wheelchair Bound College Instructors?
}
} Oracle: It seems someone actually cares enough to ask what happened to
} you. Of course, since I know all, I could tell them. But since your
} skills aren't well suited for much else, I decided I'd let you tell
} them.
}
} Zadoc: Me? Well, I'm, uh, that is...
}
} Oracle: Clueless again, huh? Let me give you a hint, starts with 'W'
} and ends with **dch*ck.
}
} Zadoc: Oh, thank you, Great Distiller of Wisdom and Other Heady
} Fluids. Yes, there are the cages. I attempt to clean them.
}
} Oracle: Yeah, if by clean you mean spread the muck about. I'm
} surprised with myself that I keep you around.
}
} Zadoc: I humbly bow before your boundless condescension, Oh Marvelous
} Revealer of The Secrets of Criminals and Politicians.
}
} Oracle: Speaking of which, tell our supplicant about your Friday nights.
}
} Zadoc: I, uh, but, Fridays?
}
} Oracle: Sure, you know, those nights you disappear for a couple of
} hours. Those nights you say you're going out to promote my glorious
} work.
}
} Zadoc: Um, yeah, there's Fridays. I go to proclaim The Wonderful
} Perfection that is You, Oh Great Oracle.
}
} Oracle: ...and attend your club meeting.
}
} Zadoc: <Turning a bright shade of rouge> Wha ... Uh, bu...Wh..what club?
}
} Oracle: Oh, come on. They don't call me all-knowing for nothing. You
} and your "brothers" meet up every Friday. Tell us about it...
}
} Zadoc: It's nothing, really, just some of us getting together...
}
} Oracle: Ahh, nothing. Seems there's a whole lot of talk going on to
} call it nothing. Go ahead, let our supplicant know what your group
} talks about.
}
} Zadoc: <Smelling distinctly of fear and urine> Mah, wuh, we talk about
} you ... praise! Yes! Praise Your Glorious Wisdom and Insight.
}
} Oracle: Yeah, uh-huh. Does those praises include, and I quote, "That
} overbearing, egomaniac of an Oracle?"
}
} Zadoc: Ah ... Buh...
}
} Oracle: Listen, your semi-useful but as stupid as a load of broken
} bricks. If you're going to hold a meeting where you bash Me, you can
} at least be more creative with your insults.
}
} Zadoc: Buh ... Wha ... What?
}
} Oracle: Seriously, you can do better. Go ahead, give it a try.
}
} Zadoc: But your worship, that would be wrong on magnitudes unimagined
} to humans. I could not even begin to imagine how to attempt such a
} horrible feat.
}
} Oracle: Sure you can. Come on, for once you have my permission, tell
} me what you truly think of me.
}
} Zadoc: Um, ah, you're a ... not a nice guy.
}
} Oracle: Feh! You're not even trying. Come on, burn me!
}
} Zadoc: Well, uh, I think you stink ... awfully.
}
} Oracle: Weak, weak, weak. I am certain, for I am the Oracle, you can
} do better than that. Give me your best shot.
}
} Zadoc: You're ... an appalling ... um, chess player.
}
} Oracle: Heh, that almost might be true, but that's not what you're
} really thinking. Now, you have one last chance. Do your worst!
}
} Zadoc: I think, uh, you're a despicable bad-tempered ogre ...
}
} Oracle: Better...
}
} Zadoc: ...with the table manners of a rabid water buffalo...
}
} Oracle: Yes...
}
} Zadoc: <with increasing bravado> ...the incontinence of an aging
} baboon with a bladder infection...
}
} Oracle: Ohh...Kay...
}
} Zadoc: <with a flourish> ...and the wits of a pop rock star at a Mensa
} convention!
}
} *** ZOT! ***
}
} Oracle: And there you have it. Zadoc's still around, as easy to bait
} as ever. Perhaps I'll call on him more often ... after he figures out
} that a backbone was not part of his job description.
}
} You owe the Oracle a bucket, an industrial mop and a clean set of
} sheets.
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