} Rise, my humble supplicant, and hear what I have to tell you. You seem
} to have made a minor mistake. Yes, humans are, in fact, a loan *to*
} the Universe.
} Allow me to explain. Thousands of years ago the Universe, or Jeff as
} he prefers to be called, was getting pretty bored. You would be too,
} if you existed for 13 billion years with no cable TV. He kept
} complaining to God about it, to the point where God finally said,
} "Alright, fine, what exactly do you want?!"
} Jeff asked for God to create some reality shows for him to watch, but
} God refused on the grounds that He doesn't create evil. Jeff kept
} pestering God. This was starting annoy The Big Guy a lot, so God
} created entropy as a punishment for Jeff. (You wouldn't want to
} constantly get more chaotic, would you? What? Oh, well, your universe
} Anyways, God and Jeff were on pretty bad terms by then, and Jeff was
} still mind-numbingly bored at the point, so he decided to look
} elsewhere for help.
} Jeff did a little checking around, and found out that another
} universe, Ashley, owed me a funny little species called humans, which
} she had put on the table in a recent poker game. The three of us ended
} up working out a deal where Jeff got to borrow humanity from me, Jeff
} gave Ashley a few more than forty spiral galaxies, and Ashley gave me
} a neat device which fires a concentrated quantity of electricity. I
} had my eye on that thing for a while.
} I got an excellent deal.
} Jeff gets to keep you humans for a few hundred more years before I get
} you back. I'll probably just try pawning you off to another universe,
} or if that doesn't work, just get rid of you. After all, you don't
} seem very valuable. All you ever do is go around killing each other
} and making reality TV shows. It's nice to keep in touch with you and
} dispense my wisdom, but I don't want to take care of you full-time. I
} have better things to do.
} You owe the Oracle... nevermind, I'll have it in a few hundred years