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} Pretty bad. Your girlfriend's cat will have slept on the shirt and
} tie that you had pressed and laid out the night before, forcing
} you to quickly pick another pair that you realize as you run out
} the door don't match your shoes/socks/pants at all. Sherrie's going
} to screw up your haircut royally, leaving you looking like a retard
} just in time for your interview. After you blow that, you're going
} to come home to discover that your girlfriend has found the tape of
} you and your ex that you keep around for when she's not home. After
} a massive argument that lasts for hours and does NOT resolve, you'll
} leave for the local pub to ease your worries, only to discover it's
} burned to the ground after some local LARP-er got overzealous with his
} "fireballs." Dejected, you'll drive around downtown for a while to
} see if you can't find another bar, fail miserably to find anywhere
} that looks remotely friendly, and stop by a liquor store to just buy
} a bottle of vodka. Unfortunately, you left your wallet at home, so
} you'll be forced to leave with zero liquid comfort, excepting the Jack
} Daniels that gets poured on your violated hairstyle by a group of drunk
} fratboys as soon as you leave the store before they all hop into their
} expensive pickup truck and haul ass back to Kappa-iota-dickhead. You'll
} slump into your tiny Ford commuter and crank it repeatedly, before
} you realize that your alternator's shot. After some wrestling and a
} jump from a surly liquor store patron who clearly does not want to
} give you a jump, you manage to get the car going and begin making
} your way back home to sleep in the driveway. A cop sees one of your
} taillights is out (more endearing frat boy shenanigans) and pulls you
} over, but you don't want to turn off the car because you won't be able
} to start it again. You can tell that he's skeeved at this violation
} of protocol even before he gets to your window, and when he gets a
} whiff of the JD that's soaked into your hair and jacket, and discovers
} that you don't have your license on you thanks to your missing wallet,
} that's all he needs. You get tossed into the back seat of the cop car
} without ceremony, drive through a McDonald's so he can get a snack
} (which reminds you that you haven't eaten since the power bar you
} crammed into your stomach before the interview) and spend the night in
} a jail cell, where you are forced to remain awake all night so you do
} not fall victim to the other inmates, who actually ARE drunk criminals.
}
} And to top it all off, you forgot to grovel.
}
} *ZOT*
}
} Life's a bitch, ain't it?
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