Goto:

1449, 1449-01, 1449-02, 1449-03, 1449-04, 1449-05, 1449-06, 1449-07, 1449-08, 1449-09, 1449-10

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Peerless is the Oracle, he is unmatched in excellence and wise > beyond measure, > > Quantum and statistical methods have had great success modeling > virus evolution. Can such techniques be used to model more complex > systems such as bacteria and pathogen evolution?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} If that's your thing. I'd rather see them modeled by Tyra Banks, } especially in an off-the-shoulder over-the-spore clingy little number. }  You owe The Oracle the opportunity to contract that one

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> The Oracle's question queue is getting rather dull. Help spice things > up for everybody and do some tell mes instead of ask mes. > > Dear Orrie, > what the hell?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} 17'5 \/\/h47 01d p30p13 54y 1|\|5734d 0f 'h311'. } } u 'O' 7h3 0r4c13 10 f001!5h \/!rg!nz.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle most wise, > > Will I waste the next year as well?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hmm... } Hmmm... } Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- } mmm............................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } .......................................................................- } ....................................................................... } The Oracle has pondered your question very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } VERY deeply. And pondered it, and pondered it, } and pondered it, and pondered it, and pondered it, } and pondered it, and pondered it. } I suppose that, if my theory is correct, and it is true that } my theories often are, then to answer your question, and I } *do* assume that you want an answer, then Yes. Yes, yes, } yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, } YES. Because, if you spend your time reading E-mails like } this, then you're time will be very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } well ripped-off. } You owe the Oracle something that is } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, } very good.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The darkness to the skin has to come from somewhere! Through a complex } process, the sunlight shifts the dark from the hair to the surface of } the skin. This is why really light blonde people don't tan, but burn. } They have no dark to move.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Wise and Wonderful Oracle, who looks nothing at all like Mel Blanc, > please deconfuse and unfuddle this poor lowly supplicant.  I was just > watching Star Wars for the 3,729th time when it suddenly occurred to > me that Yoda sounds an awful lot like Fozzy Bear!  What's going on > here?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Very perceptive, dear supplicant. Yoda lived long ago in a galaxy far } away, but the hyperspace travel made it possible for Yoda's } great-to-the-17th level grandfather to make it to earth and sleep with } Gentle Ben's sister. The family was no stranger to the entertainment } biz, either. Grandpa Yoda loved telling jokes to the crowd. "Into a } bar, three men walked. Ducked, the 4th one did. Yes, hmmmm." He also } had the same drive to hog the spotlight. Yoda found himself barred from } a great many establishments after a disagreement with Mr. Hutt. "please } Mr. Jabba, the Jedi Master his own show you should give!"  You owe The } Oracle a treatise on Over, Under and Through.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Should I get up earlier?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Only if you want worms.  You owe the Oracle a late late bird

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> SUPER > MARIO BROS. > > Copyright (c), 1984 Nintendo, Inc.  All rights reserved > > One Player or Two Player > >1 > > Cobblestone Path > You are on a brick path.  There are small green hills in the distance. >  A lone cloud drifts by in the sky. > > >West > A mysterious force blocks your path > > >East > > Cobblestone Path > You are on a brick path.  A golden box embossed with a scrolling > question mark hangs in the air.  A small platform made of alternating > Terra Cotta bricks and golden boxes floats in the air just beyond the > first, with a fourth golden box suspended above the platform. > > There is a GOOMBA here. > > >Jump on GOOMBA > You jump on the GOOMBA which smashes out into a sickening putrid pulp > for 100 HP. Damage. > HP: 100  GP: 0 > > >Hit Box > Which Box do you wish to hit? > > >Hit first Box > A great golden coin leaps out of the box and dissolves into the air. > HP: 300  GP: 1 > > >Hit second Box > The Terra Cotta brick explodes in a nova of dust. > HP: 350  GP: 1 > > >_

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}  > Ask GOOMBA for tax receipt } } The goomba is too dead to notice you. } }  > e } } Cobblestone Path } You are on a brick path. There are small green hills in the distance. } A lone cloud drifts by in the sky. } }  > e } } Cobblestone Path } You are on a brick path. There are small green hills in the distance. } A lone cloud drifts by in the sky. } }  > e } } Bowsers Castle } Bowser sits next to a button. } }  > Hit button } } Gotta go through bowser. } }  > Jump over bowser } } You are now through bowser } }  > Hit button } } Bowsers dead. You killed him you sick killer! } } I WANT YOU OUT OF MY OFFICE NOW! } } You owe the oracle a first model commodore 64.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> How would Bob Dylan gain entry to the afterlife if he were > flatulent on his death bed?!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} There's more than one way to play a wind instrument.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, > > Are biosolids good for one's skin?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} They reduce the thickness of the skin. People who rebel at the mere } though of sludge, and won't have anything to do with it, seem to have } no complaint about biosolids. Compare the use of "tub of exceptional } fertilizer" in place of "crock of sh*t." } } You owe the hungry and carnivorous Oracle some vegetarians.

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Grand and elusive Oracle, > > What do human brains work faster the more they know, > but computers work slower when they have too much data?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Because even the cleverest of brains is idiotic compared to } the cheapest of computers, in terms of memory. } } Therefore the factors that become significant for performance } when a *truly* large amount of data is involved (such as searching } algorithms) never even comes into play where human thought is } concerned. So if Shakespeare is trying to figure out a sonnet, } he only has to search through a linked list or array of... what? } 100? 1000 experiences tops? Wow. Big (O) friggin' deal. } } So the more humans know, the *benefits* of having more data is } noticeable (ie. not having to acquire it, or recompute it), but the } *drawbacks* are not significant at that stage. } } You owe the Oracle a computer that can actually shift down all elements } of an array by one from some arbitrary position in the middle all the } way to the end, so that insertions can be done in constant time, as you } would insert a book into the middle of a row of books in constant time. } } Perhaps at the Omega Point humans will know enough so that they can } make computers that perform faster the more data they have to process.