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 } If someone doesn't tell Rush Limbaugh to stop encouraging his audience 
} to spam the Oracle with ridiculous questions, he's gonna get SUCH a 
} zot. 
} 
} Sigh.  Okay. 
} 
} Miley Cyrus is sixteen years old.  She grew up with a father renowned 
} for having written the most annoying country song ever.  Furthermore, 
} he's a KISS fan, which the Oracle is as well, but this is quite 
} unseemly and embarrassing when true of a country singer. 
} Furtherfurthermore, he likes to dress up and pretend he's a whiny pop 
} star.  She herself inherited this identity confusion and managed to 
} pass it on to a generation of little girls (and occasional little boy), 
} who have given the wig industry its first meteoric rise in stocks since 
} early American politicians mistakenly thought it made them look 
} dignified as opposed to clownish. 
} 
} Give her a break, will ya?  She has more problems than Michael Jackson, 
} even if you include the fact that he's dead. 
} 
} But take heart!  The moment she releases a workout video, her 
} popularity will plummet like a hawk on the wiener of a naked dude lying 
} in his backyard for a tan.  (Don't do that in hawk territory, by the 
} way.)  Back when Jane Fonda released hers, Americans were much less fat 
} and lazy.  Back then, we clung to the hope that exercise will keep us 
} thin.  Now we realize it's all about eating nothing but meat... until 
} our arteries harden and we die, finally attaining that Kate Moss/Johnny 
} Depp look everyone dreams about but is too addicted to Big Macs to 
} achieve. 
} 
} You owe the Oracle a Quarter Pounder with cheese value meal.  With a 
} Coke. Diet, though.  I'm trying to lose a few extra bytes.  Still the 
} sexiest computer in existence, though. 
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