|
} Lets see here...
}
} Fighting the Unfightable: This one left me a lot of wriggle room, so I
} decided to fight intangibles. Like the American tendency to believe
} whatever anyone tells them on television or on the internet without
} bothering to verify the information for themselves. I find this
} behaviour pattern tends to peak during election years. So what I'm
} thinking is outlawing elections, and banning both television and the
} internet. This won't affect me as a) I'm not elected, and b) I'm not
} dependent on silly electronic media for communicating with lower beings
} such as yourself.
}
} Righting the Unrightable: That one was easy: I just went 'round and
} removed every "No Right Turn" sign on the planet. Done. Of course, the
} resulting grid-lock in places like London was interesting....
}
} Thinking the Unthinkable: That's part of my job-description anyway, so
} done.
}
} Sinking the Unsinkable: I'm sure you've heard of the Titanic, yes?
}
} Beating the Unbeatable: This one took some doing, but when was the last
} time you remember Germany winning a war? WWI? Nope. WWI? Nope.
} Napoleon? Lets not joke. They used to be the best soldiers ever. Now...
} not so much. So I may have gotten that one licked.
}
} Eating the Inedible: Do you have any idea how many minions send me food
} as a way of thanking me for answering their silly questions? And do you
} have any idea of how few humans actually know how to cook? DAMN FEW
} that's how many! Most (especially in western nations) seem to think
} that "Cooking" is taking something out of the freezer, putting it in
} the microwave, and zapping it. That's not cooking. But at least it's
} (more or less) edible. But no. That's not what they send me! They try
} to home-cook me something. And usually it's not only inedible, but
} unidentifiable! So... I'm still working on this one.
}
} Answering the Unanswerable: Again, this is part of my job, and I do it
} all day long. There are NO unanswerable questions when you're the
} Oracle. So I've got this one completely licked, and have for
} (literally) eons.
}
} Touch the Untouchable: There's nothing I can't touch. Including M.C.
} Hammer. Can't touch this my ass!
}
} Flushing... you seem to have handled that one. But I hope you have a
} plunger ready since I suspect that's gonna be another unsinkable.
}
} You owe the Oracle an itemized, chronological list of all of the things
} that humanity has tried (and failed) to do over the millenia,
} cross-referenced by date, country, and person making the attempt. Since
} this promises to be a HUGE list, I want it in volumes (bound in
} leather) by century. And I want each volume to arrive, like clockwork,
} on the first of the month. You might need a staff to help you with
} this. Paying them is up to you. Better get moving.
|
![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
