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} Let's find out. Bear with me while I summon Shakespeare from ages past.
} Please sit patiently and wait. These apparitions can be somewhat
} flighty and easily offended. One wrong word and they are gone. Here we
} go!
}
} Will? William Shakespeare? Will the Stratford Person? Can you come here
} a minute? Someone may have a job for you.
}
} - Oh, don't bother me. What is it? Another writing assignment? I've
} told you before, De Vere does all that stuff for me. I just let him put
} my name on it. Go talk to him.
}
} Well, there you have it. He doesn't WANT your damned job.
}
} Let's try his suggestion, though. Hey Ox! Yes, you, Edw. De Vere, 17th
} Earl of Oxford, yes, you hiding behind the mask. Come up here and
} report for duty! (Gotta be a bit tough with these noblemen, or they
} don't listen at all. Hard to hold their attention otherwise.)
}
} -- We meet again, O Oracle of time
} -- Beyond the Future that we had at hand.
} -- You wish, I know, for me the Bard to be,
} -- Once more creating words that please the ear,
} -- Those lines all writ so smooth with iambs five,
} -- Which I would surely speak were I alive.
}
} Yeah. Suppy over there, that clown in the corner with his fingers
} suspended in mid-air as he awaits my answer, would like to hire a ghost
} writer.
}
} -- I write of ghosts, of princes and of kings,
} -- Of witches three, of murd'rous Scots and dogs.
} -- Aye, yes, of that Damned Spot! Out, out! I say,
} -- And on the carpet piddle not. I had
} -- It clean'd one week ago but now the filth
} -- That falleth not like gentle rain from heav'n
} -- But track'd by muddy paws encrusts the rug.
} -- For thee a grave near Yorick I'll have dug.
}
} Okay, okay. Hold the poochy images. Suppy, lazy as always, wants you to
} take over writing his questions. He doesn't have any money, but he
} promises you truckloads of fame or whatever. No, don't go. He really
} needs you. Here, I'll show you some of the questions he's written
} previously. You can see how they need improvement. (G*d, how I hate
} handling these old questions. The parchment falls apart from bit-rot
} beneath my fingers!) You'll write for him, and just let him change a
} word or two.
}
} Sorry, Suppy. He's gone.
}
} In answer to your question, yes, Will's ghostwriter could get Will a
} job, if either Will or Oxford wanted it. They clearly don't.
}
} You owe the Oracle and Oxford a better offer, or a cleaner dog.
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