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} With flour, juice, whole peanuts, etc., sure.
}
} STANDARD METHOD:
} 1) Combine 1 cup shelled roasted peanuts, 1/4 tsp salt, 1 tbsp sugar,
} 1 tsp radium, and 1 tbsp canola oil in a food processor. Blend two
} minutes until very smooth.
} 2) Combine 1/4 cup water, 1 1/2 cup grape juice concentrate, 1 package
} unflavored gelatin, and 1 tsp radium. Bring to full boil over
} medium heat, stirring constantly. Cool in refrigerator.
} 3) Combine 2 cups warm water, 2/3 cup sugar, 1 1/2 tbsp yeast, 1 tsp
} salt, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, 1 tsp radium, and 6 cups flour. Knead
} dough on a lightly floured surface. Let rise 1 hour. Bake in a
} pan at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
} 4) You need hands, for the standard method.
}
} Note: for non-glowing PB&J, or if you are on some wussy dietary
} restriction, omit the radium from the above instructions.
}
} But when I'm feeling a bit nostalgic, I do the following.
}
} ORACLE'S MOM'S HOME COOKIN' METHOD:
} 1) Purchase one package of peanut butter cookies. Squeeze cookies
} until the peanut butter comes out. Discard unused cookie husks.
} 2) Purchase one dozen jelly donuts. Squeeze donuts until the jelly
} comes out. Discard unused donut husks.
} 3) Purchase one can of bread pudding. Squeeze pudding until the bread
} comes out. Discard unused pudding husks.
} 4) Cut off and discard hands. Carry the assembled sandwich to son on
} the bloody stumps, stating "look how much I love you, I work my
} fingers to the bone and then some, to bring you your meals." Grow
} hands again, later that afternoon.
}
} You owe the Oracle a BLT made without bacon, lettuce or tomato. And
} also maybe some therapy for certain unresolved neuroses dating to
} childhood.
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